At what point do you let go?

[Pequena Estrela]

Originally Posted by Elfin

Of course you would. Because you are better than all of those put together. I meant if we didn't " feel" we didn't suffer. But we do. And that's what makes us human, and that's what makes us better than them. I would much rather be me. I would much rather have been me , the child that beaten by her own parents, than to have been the parent that beat their children. My children have only known love.

A very true statement, and as a fellow survivor of childhood abuse I fully agree!

And despite having suffered abuse throughout my life, and always having been laughed at by the people who hurt me, ridiculed by society for getting abused, abandoned and chased away by those I loved - indeed I'd rather be me, suffer the pain, the heartbreak, the loneliness and the despair - than be the one causing pain, heartbreak and despair!

At least we have nothing to be ashamed of.

Originally Posted by Pequena Estrela

A very true statement, and as a fellow survivor of childhood abuse I fully agree!

And despite having suffered abuse throughout my life, and always having been laughed at by the people who hurt me, ridiculed by society for getting abused, abandoned and chased away by those I loved - indeed I'd rather be me, suffer the pain, the heartbreak, the loneliness and the despair - than be the one causing pain, heartbreak and despair!

At least we have nothing to be ashamed of.

We don't my Angel. Because between us we are worth more than all of those put together. And we should be proud that we rose above all of that and became the 2 beautiful beings we are as a result. You and me against the world!... We rose above it.. !

[Pequena Estrela]

Originally Posted by Elfin

We don't my Angel. Because between us we are worth more than all of those put together. And we should be proud that we rose above all of that and became the 2 beautiful beings we are as a result. You and me against the world!... We rose above it.. !

Indeed, very true! Yes we have risen above it, which we prove every day because we don't behave the way such people do, we don't go round intentionally hurting others, we don't target the defenseless, we have chosen to be loving.

And indeed, that makes us beautiful beings!

[LibbyScorp]

I mean... I'm not some perfect angel of a lover. I'm jealous with an extremely sharp tongue starting to get better with my temper after some events have taken place forcing me to learn lessons. A whole mess of things to work on in this life.

Not 100% my fault but I do see the build up of resentments on the other end. It takes 2 to tango. The other is not a bad person. Not any worse than myself.

It's just... when you're both outgrowing the lessons but hang on without making steps forward... it just goes round and round and round.

Originally Posted by LibbyScorp

I mean... I'm not some perfect angel of a lover. I'm jealous with an extremely sharp tongue starting to get better with my temper after some events have taken place forcing me to learn lessons. A whole mess of things to work on in this life.

Not 100% my fault but I do see the build up of resentments on the other end. It takes 2 to tango. The other is not a bad person. Not any worse than myself.

It's just... when you're both outgrowing the lessons but hang on without making steps forward... it just goes round and round and round.

The flogging of a dead horse,is the lesson on knowing when to let go.

Originally Posted by LibbyScorp

I mean... I'm not some perfect angel of a lover. I'm jealous with an extremely sharp tongue starting to get better with my temper after some events have taken place forcing me to learn lessons. A whole mess of things to work on in this life.

Not 100% my fault but I do see the build up of resentments on the other end. It takes 2 to tango. The other is not a bad person. Not any worse than myself.

It's just... when you're both outgrowing the lessons but hang on without making steps forward... it just goes round and round and round.

Hah. You sound like me!! And absolutly none of us are perfect. It's all about being with the right person, because then all of your insecurities will literally melt into non- existence. But let's be honest.. we all need to kiss a few frogs first before we find our prince/princess .

[LadyMay]

I kind of get to a point in the relationship where I've worked through my fear and it all drops away... then there's no emotional attachment left to those people and the relationship is naturally over. However I'm aware many people don't tend to experience this and get stuck in the same loop over and over. It's very hard to let someone go if you're not ready, regardless of how toxic that relationship is, but to be ready you have you work through your issues keeping you attached to them.

[Pequena Estrela]

Originally Posted by Elfin

Hah. You sound like me!! And absolutly none of us are perfect. It's all about being with the right person, because then all of your insecurities will literally melt into non- existence. But let's be honest.. we all need to kiss a few frogs first before we find our prince/princess .

But why is this necessary to kiss a few frogs first? What if we don't like kissing frogs? Frogs are wet and slimy. Not just the animal sort, but the human sort too. I've never kissed a frog. Do I have to kiss a few of them to find my prince?
Thing is also this - according to this theory, kissing a few frogs might get us the prince in the end. We know that. But do the frogs know that...? Lol...


True, of course none of us are perfect, and indeed, being with the right person means getting accepted with all our imperfections, we are human after all, not a doll or robot.

Originally Posted by Pequena Estrela

But why is this necessary to kiss a few frogs first? What if we don't like kissing frogs? Frogs are wet and slimy. Not just the animal sort, but the human sort too. I've never kissed a frog. Do I have to kiss a few of them to find my prince?
Thing is also this - according to this theory, kissing a few frogs might get us the prince in the end. We know that. But do the frogs know that...? Lol...


True, of course none of us are perfect, and indeed, being with the right person means getting accepted with all our imperfections, we are human after all, not a doll or robot.

...the frogs think they are princes too... especially a narcissist one ha ha

no but seriously one time i was in a relationship where we were heading for the end, the break up and we sat at a dinner party and there was this other girl there and i remember thinking to myself they would be perfect for each other (like thinking that of my own boyfriend at the time), and I was shook by my own thought, and I did not even feel any kind of jealousy, resentment, bitterness, nothing. I just think I had come to a stage where I realized OK there are things that has pulled us together, and other things within ourselves that pull us apart. The pull apart was bigger than the pull together. When we had parted I felt much better than I had at the late part of the relationship, wasn't heartbroken. If I was to think of him it was to acknowledge the good he did, the good times we had, and that is it. What he did wrong I pity him for not knowing better. And the wrong, that I am aware of, I did to him I pity myself for. I did learn one thing from this and that is what I knew from that point on what will work with me and what would/will not, so I learned something about myself and that was a really good thing. I do think he is more of a prince to a person who has more pull towards him than opposite of him, so i was basically a frog to him and he to me ha ha but that's alright. The thing about this is that I came to the conclusion that I knew myself better and that I actually liked myself for who I was, I was not gonna change that for him or for anyone. Then in the future when I fell in love I fell in love with a different "type", the other "type" had lost it's glory long time ago (sorry for the type generalizations, don't know how else to explain it...).

[Rah nam]

Originally Posted by LibbyScorp

I'm interested to hear your experiences of when you knew it was time to let go of someone you loved deeply. At what point did you develop the strength to leave? What was the breaking point? How many mistakes did it take for you to endure or make before realizing you were outgrowing the love and the lessons? How long did you hold out hope? Did it end on a bad note or was it mutual?

You let go when you are ready, there is point where we should or shouldn't