something i found on runners

Well just before we broke up he added a picture to his Facebook that was taken of us and his family (During his annual Family Photo Shoot. I was so surprised and happy that they included me in some of the photos. I felt very much at home with his whole family. They really treated me like one of their own) For a couple months he left it up. He had added more pics to the album but it still stayed there. Then he day he deleted it. I found out at that point he had gotten into another relationship. This really hurt and confused me.

Anyways before we broke up he had used one the pics I took of him as his proflie picture. As soon as we broke up he changed it. For the last 5 months or so he had a picture of him & his current GF. I stopped looking on his FB for a long time but the other day something told me to look. I noticed he had changed it to the picture I took of him. Maybe it doesn't mean anything but still it's strange.

I found out though a few months ago they are doing the long distance thing. She's still living here, he moved thousand miles away. I always wondered why he would get into another relationship knowing how he is not at all ready for one. He's not able to fully open his heart to someone and let them in. Now I kinda understand. It's the perfect situation for him. He can still come and go as he pleases cause he doesn't have to spend time with her but he still can have the illusion of having someone in his life. He seems to really want to have someone care for him even though he's not able to fully care back.

It hurt so bad finding out instead of fighting for me he took the easy way out and got into a new relationship. Almost like he used it to hide his pain, true feelings. Wanted to show the illusion that he had moved on so I would let him go and move on myself. I was so upset. Though I never once blamed her. I can totally understand what she sees in him and why she would want to try a relationship with him. Now even though it still stings, I feel sorry for her, not just because of our connection but because I know if she's looking for anything more from him then she's gonna be hurt like I was. Guess I should be thankful he's with her cause of the distance between them and not someone he met where he lives now. Just strange he always dates older women when he's not all ready for a serious relationship.

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by Spirit25

My Soulmate had been playing the hot/cold game for months before I couldn't take it anymore and ended it. When he was there, the connection we had was so amazing. He was so amazing to me. Then he would distance himself from me and at the time I had no idea why. It was such an emotional roller coaster for me. The hardest thing I've ever experienced. When I questioned his actions, he just shrugged it off like nothing was wrong. He assured me that he loved me and that I had nothing to worry about. I gave him every opportunity to end things but he never did.

I knew he loved me but I couldn't understand why he was acting this way. He eventually told me he did want a future with me, but at that moment his life wasn't stable enough to fully give me what I deserved. He told me the same thing after we broke up when I ran into one day out of the blue. That day is one I will never forget. I was so emotional. He looked happy,sad and nervous all in one when he saw me. He told me the breakup was hard on him too cause he still loved me and wanted to be with me, but he couldn't be there for me the way I needed to be. He needed time to sort out his life. He knew he was moving to another Province, which is thousands miles away and he couldn't ask me to give up the things I loved to move with him. He gave me a huge hug and kissed me goodbye. Then he literally ran away from me. He was so nerved up he ran into the door as he looked back at me.That was the last time I saw or heard from him. Which was a year ago this month. I couldn't understand it and I've tried so hard to move on this past year but everything reminds me of him and the time we shared. Usually it doesn't take me long to get over a breakup but this one I can't. It's like the more I try to fight it or deny it the harder it gets.

exactly the situ i was in! well up to the point of him saying he loved me but wasnt ready ive only been told that bit he hasnt opened up that much but working with steve gunn just once has helped me be able to start dating again and to see the connection for what it is, and to work on what i need to im much less needy of him instantly and much more prepared to tell him he cant mess me around its not cool.

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by twinwonder7

Yep, it seems surrender to the process is the best way. Keep moving forward with your life, but cry when you need to, etc. I found when I tried to be all tough and say SEE IM OVER IT, it came back at me even harder. Resistance is futile :)

twins right till you learn the lessons you have to learn and why you had the connection in the first place you cant supress it.
you can block it a bit but not properly you have to work out whats its trying to get you to learn about your soul to actually be able to live your life

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by Spirit25

Just find it weird that my best friend seems to be experiencing what I did when I first met my SM. She has this strong weird attraction to this young guy she meet eariler this year who turns out to be a cousin of my SM. He plays the hot & cold game with her. Only difference is she refuses to chase him like I did with my SM. I asked her how it felt when she was with him and its identical at how I felt when I was with my SM. There are too many things that have happened this past year for it to be a coincidence.

ive had 3 friends maybe more, its like since i met mine ppl started coming into my life that year in the same position prob to help each other and give each other sanity! lol

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by Enlightener

Maybe you can add him to facebook (if you have it), or send him an email every once in a while asking him how he is. I know it can be hard sometimes with certain scenarios

he doesnt have a facebook!
lol prob only person not to and it'strue it's not him saying he doesn't i know he doesn't.

at least we have whatsapp now before was just text now it comforts me at least to see when he's been online! lol as even though i dont feel any need towards him, i still care about him a lot and like to see he's safe, if ever i ask for some advice or if hes ok he always replies instantly always has even when we go through our apart phases, but i am done now, im moving on and if he tries contacting me again i am going to say i cant handle the in and out and he has to make some decisions, else it will just go on forever while i allow it, i know these relationships are so so so different but at the same time i think you still have to try to treat them in the normal manner in some way at least you always get more and more and more chances!

[miss_believed]

have you all read these?
http://stevegunn.net/wp_blog/

they and speaking to him really have helped.

oh you did seek him out in the end, miss

he does know it backwards it seems

Yeah I've read those. I'm actually thinking about buying his book.

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by Dharma Employee

oh you did seek him out in the end, miss

he does know it backwards it seems

miracle!
i cant tell you i was like everyone on this board, now im going on a date next week with someone else im getting work in no more headaches and constant heaviness and lethargy the guys a genius of course i have my down days and im not saying this story is over far from it, but non of this would have happened for a long time if i hadnt talked to him i dont even know what he did, i remember thinking he was annoying and arrogant but then i put the phone down and it was crazy the change in me. i cant recommend him enough if im honest.

[miss_believed]

and non of the above has happened for a year now! to put it into context a little i feel like im getting my life back bit by bit.