Graves, cremation, funerals etc

Originally Posted by Uhmar

I would think what you owe her is to not forget her..Is that even possible? To honor the marriage commitmennt you shared. Keep her in your heart then you have done all you needed to do .

In the olden days and in Native American burial rituals wasn't or isn't it the custom to build funeral pyres? This tells me that the body was not buried for many years that is was burned to offer the persons spirit back up to the higher planes.

This is the method you/she chose..It can only be a good thing. To me it says you honored her and her wishes. You honored who she was and what she valued.
It matters little how you did it as you still carry her in your heart and with you at all times. Focus on that not the act of her burial.

There you will find your stength.

Uhmar, different tribes did it differently. Some did cremation, some used an above ground burial (up on a wooden planking) and some used caves. It depended on the type of ground available,also.

Uhmar, different tribes did it differently. Some did cremation, some used an above ground burial (up on a wooden planking) and some used caves. It depended on the type of ground available,also.

I meant it as an example only...not that all tribes did it same way . It also was olden celtic/norse type methods as well. to build a floating pyre then sent it out onto lake and setting it aflame. Of course different areas different methods.
All done with the utmost respect to the bodies.
I was using an example for him of how he did actually respect her wishes and her body. He is struggling so with the method he used to bury his beloved.
Just examples nothing more.

Originally Posted by Uhmar

I meant it as an example only...not that all tribes did it same way . It also was olden celtic/norse type methods as well. to build a floating pyre then sent it out onto lake and setting it aflame. Of course different areas different methods.
All done with the utmost respect to the bodies.
I was using an example for him of how he did actually respect her wishes and her body. He is struggling so with the method he used to bury his beloved.
Just examples nothing more.

Uhmar, believe me, I am not trying to pick a fight or anything. It is a very hard decision for many to make about funeral arrangements. We have our religion and cultural ingrained methods to deal with. Sometimes we don't discuss it until there is no time left. Then there is extended family to think of. But I truly don't believe that the soul lingers. When you feel a presence at a gravesite, it is the soul visiting you. But I have had my father visit me in my frontroom. He is buried a few states away and I cannot afford to go visit his burial site. Distance may hinder me, but it certainly doesn't hinder him!
As far as the OP, it has to be what he is comforted by. How he feels closer to his loved one. I know of many people who go to a gravesite and sit just to visit. The nearness makes them feel more connected.

Originally Posted by Uhmar

I would think what you owe her is to not forget her..Is that even possible? To honor the marriage commitmennt you shared. Keep her in your heart then you have done all you needed to do .

In the olden days and in Native American burial rituals wasn't or isn't it the custom to build funeral pyres? This tells me that the body was not buried for many years that is was burned to offer the persons spirit back up to the higher planes.

This is the method you/she chose..It can only be a good thing. To me it says you honored her and her wishes. You honored who she was and what she valued.
It matters little how you did it as you still carry her in your heart and with you at all times. Focus on that not the act of her burial.

There you will find your stength.

Thank you very much for this! I feel you really understand and speak with words of wisdom!
I will never stop honouring her and will for sure honour and keep the legal marriage vows and the pledges we made to each other back on year 1 of 18!
I suppose my question here came because normally I would seek her approval/guidance on almost every important act, its alien to me not being able to.
If that makes sense?

Again thank you.

Just to say, I am well aware of the ancient methods.
Stonehenge being one example.
Fire was indeed used to return the body to the earth, this is how I consoled myself to it, but mostly because it was her wish, and that means more to me than anything else.
I think the key word is respect, provided it is done with respect then the method may not be as important.

I believe that your spirit leaves your body as soon as you die because it no longer serves a purpose. So many people have died in ways in which their physical body does not remain (fires, explosions, etc.) and many are never found to be grieved over, so the spirit moves on regardless of any ceremony or burial rite that is or is not performed.
I would take comfort in the fact that you respected your wife's wishes. Had you done anything different I feel you would be having an even more difficult time because it could never be undone. Let go of your conflict and honour her with your thoughts and memories of the time you spent together.

Laughter and love,

Richinside

Originally Posted by Richinside

I believe that your spirit leaves your body as soon as you die because it no longer serves a purpose. So many people have died in ways in which their physical body does not remain (fires, explosions, etc.) and many are never found to be grieved over, so the spirit moves on regardless of any ceremony or burial rite that is or is not performed.
I would take comfort in the fact that you respected your wife's wishes. Had you done anything different I feel you would be having an even more difficult time because it could never be undone. Let go of your conflict and honour her with your thoughts and memories of the time you spent together.

Laughter and love,

Richinside

Thanks.

See I can't accept that fully for the following reasons.

If there person who is passing over did not expect to be doing so, and are worried about their loved ones I think they might try or want to re boot the physical body in someway.

However, drawing on my mum's own NDE experiences (that I was not going to share but in fact feel that this community is by and large kind and caring)

During two surgeries she had she told tale later of seeing a classic tunnel appear, of hearing voices and seeing people at the far end of the tunnel.
As she moved towards the tunnel her father came forward the first time and said to her, its not time and she found herself back in her body.

The 2nd time, was Feb 2010 after her thigh snapped due to cancer and she was rushed in the greatest ever agony to hospital where they decided they would try to save her leg by pinning it.

The op took ages and me, dad and sister sat waiting in the corridor.
We later learnt that mum had to be resuscitated three times (which is odd as there was a no resuss order on her notes)
But she was grateful for the little extra time it gave her.

She reported the same tunnel of light, clarity of faces and a deep longing to both go and stay and fight.
Again her dad came forward, this time he looked at her, shook his head and turned away.
Clearly he knew of the great pain, suffering and humiliation that was to come for her.

So mum clearly still did have a bond with her body in order that she could still be with us despite the terrible damage the cancer had done.
And with the spirit world all but open to her she did not go.

Thus, initially at least, I think the spirit does have a bond to the body that has carried it so well for so long????

[Westleigh]

Mike, I haven't read the last few pages of this thread, but I just wanted to say in regard to your last post that it sounds like she fought her desire to go because of her bond to you, and to her other loved ones, rather than a bond to the body. All accounts I have read of people passing over indicate that the spirit feels joy at leaving the body behind, because it is such a freeing experience, like leaving all of your weight and troubles behind you.

Having said that, I do understand your feelings. While it is wonderful to realise ourselves as spirit beings and not a physical body, the bodies we inhabit are incredible, wondrous vehicles without which we would be unable to experience the world, taste, touch or smell it, or experience physical love. I believe our bodies have their own kind of intelligence - my body understands how to fight disease, while I have no idea; it has its own preferences, such as to the food it would like, which on many occasions conflict with my own (though we have been coming to a compromise on the issue). My body and I are a team, so far as I am concerned - without a soul the body would be less, and without a body the soul would be less, and our bodies are absolutely deserving of respect and even mourning, so long as you understand that your wife is no longer connected with it.

I can also understand your wish to have something in your physical existence you can relate to as being of your wife. I think it is this desire you need to work on releasing as you work on your connection to her in spirit. But so far as I am concerned you have completely honoured the respect due by following the wishes of your wife and your actions were precisely the right ones, so you should not feel concerned about that.

[Lynn]

So mum clearly still did have a bond with her body in order that she could still be with us despite the terrible damage the cancer had done.
And with the spirit world all but open to her she did not go.

Thus, initially at least, I think the spirit does have a bond to the body that has carried it so well for so long????



Hello Mike

I take the last part f this touch on.

I had an NDE while I did not SEE the full on tunnel or the full Light, I did see ME laying there I was above me body. I too was connected to that body still that "cord " had not broken from me.

What I saw was I best describe as " stars " like in the cartoons spinning around he head. When one gets hit over the head or the " angel" leaves them. Bugs Bunny comes to mind for a cartoon one might recall images from.

I know though I was GIVEN the choice in that moment to GO or STAY I know full well I controlled in that one. I remembered yelling out " I will NOT pass out " what I learned in a regression I yelled out " I will not DIE " and in I came again. I understand in that moment me heart that had stopped started to beat in me again. All happens in a matter of minutes.

Is it an attachement to the body on some levels YES I have to say it be that. Too though in remembering and taking to me Dad ( in Spirit ) he in life always said that when one's number is UP we go. There is no stopping that. One might have some near misses along the path BUT when its time we go. He had a massive cardiac event his first and last. I remember seeing him in the ER and him saying to GO HOME he would call. Well he called me at 2 30 AM on his way out. They kept working on him til they called the house at 5 AM to come there. His Spirit was gone before the body call was made by the Dr's.

At the time of his death I was an emotional wreck I had not had the time to process and understand how that worked and I was 25 and he was but 56. I was planninga wedding and it was hard.

It was his time to go. NO matter how much I wanted him to stay he was called to go. I get that now. We need to embrace that sadly at times one we so LOVe go and the time seems cruel but it be something more they have to complete over on the Light side. I know its hard. I feel that pain.

The Spirit is very much a part of ( I feel ) the physical body as it is the essece of whom one is. It is whom as a Medium I find that Spirit of someone that comes to me. They to very much come in the body they once had. NOT needing it in more than to maybe SHOW us a sign. Too maybe whom knows the Spirit might well need its essence to travel in.

With one's Mom, she had so much LOVe for life and for family she gave it her all to fight to stay. When her final time was up though she went in peace. LOVed one's are often around before one goes, to assure ye its OK to go one will be safe. One will have someone with them.

I have worked with the dying over the year's an often they tell me of someone being at the end of the bed and I see them there, brings great peace that.

I too was blessed once to give a friend a kiss from his wife ( whom was in Spirit) to him before his time came so he KNEW she was fine. I let her enter me and he knew well it was her as a man knows well his wife. We shared in a kiss with his Son there ( whom did not beleive in Medium's ) seeing MOM there over me. It was the most amazing day I think I have ever had. The Reverend of our Church said it was a blessing . He sadly passed I say him two days before he passed. He too had many a death event. Then finally his time was up.


Many many a time we wonder WHY and we fee bad that we lost somone but KNOW they are just in a different way to us is all.

LOVeing blessing Milke......


Lynn

Originally Posted by Westleigh

Mike, I haven't read the last few pages of this thread, but I just wanted to say in regard to your last post that it sounds like she fought her desire to go because of her bond to you, and to her other loved ones, rather than a bond to the body. All accounts I have read of people passing over indicate that the spirit feels joy at leaving the body behind, because it is such a freeing experience, like leaving all of your weight and troubles behind you.

Having said that, I do understand your feelings. While it is wonderful to realise ourselves as spirit beings and not a physical body, the bodies we inhabit are incredible, wondrous vehicles without which we would be unable to experience the world, taste, touch or smell it, or experience physical love. I believe our bodies have their own kind of intelligence - my body understands how to fight disease, while I have no idea; it has its own preferences, such as to the food it would like, which on many occasions conflict with my own (though we have been coming to a compromise on the issue). My body and I are a team, so far as I am concerned - without a soul the body would be less, and without a body the soul would be less, and our bodies are absolutely deserving of respect and even mourning, so long as you understand that your wife is no longer connected with it.

I can also understand your wish to have something in your physical existence you can relate to as being of your wife. I think it is this desire you need to work on releasing as you work on your connection to her in spirit. But so far as I am concerned you have completely honoured the respect due by following the wishes of your wife and your actions were precisely the right ones, so you should not feel concerned about that.

Bless you for all that and your words about the 'team' work and the compromise made me smile.
Yes a very cleaver mechanism :-)