Should we throw out the twin flame idea?

Originally Posted by thecenterisstill

I'm starting to break down about monogamy. Starting. I'll see where it goes, but something tells me it's part of the lesson of this connection for me.

One of the things that I keep seeing over and over is that a twin flame relationship has no rules. The love must be unconditional.

Even if you both decide you want a monogamous relationship, it still distorts the love. You would both pass up opportunities to become intimate with someone else out of fear of breaking the rules and hurting the other. Or, you wouldn't, and you would hurt them.

We can never know what's going to happen in the future, and by placing rules on how someone is supposed to behave, we've turned the beautiful unconditional love back into conditional love.

[RedEmbers]

Hi Klairic :)

Here's my current take on the whole thing!
I contacted my mirror/catalyst dude (mainly he is just an ordinary man who I saw the devine in and who reflected my ordinary human awesomeness back to me and taught me what 'true love' feels like) Yada ya. . .
Anyway after 7ish years of not seeing him I tracked him down and contacted him twice in 12 months. Which on the scale of terrifying was somewhere between a plane crash and watching miley Cyrus twerk on a bear.

The first time I contacted him was some horribly sentimental and vunrable rant about how much he meant to me lol (sentimentality doesn't come easy for me lol) he responded to my crazy person rant rather graciously lol.
The second contact I can't even really remember, I was attempting to 'let to' at that stage. We've had no contact since (its been ages now). And well, I was silently rejected which broke my poor ego heart lol.
I've moved on, he played his part, I learnt what I was meant to learn and the scene has ended, the curtains have closed.
What he did do (possibly unfortunately lol) is set a template for the kind of person I'd ideally love to love lol.
So now I have the template tucked into my skinny jeans pocket, the sharp edges annoyingly digging into my leg reminding me it's still there. That sounded a bit suss lol.
I'll probably just use it to create some desperate loved up masterpieces dedicated to my beloved template :)

Dear template,
I think your really great, lol
With the help of
your lovely, haunting mirage
Look what I can create-
A creepy, sandstone sculpture-
In the image of my template!

The best attribute to bring to this whole circus show is to have a completely open heart and mind. The best 'step' I have ever taken in all of this was the step I took towards the metaphorical baseball bat and the swings I took at all the restrictive barriers of the 'tf religion'

Peace and happiness and love and laughter to you!!!!!

Originally Posted by aubreyiris

I know for sure, though I didn't have a label for it until years later. I knew the first moment we made eye contact. I was shown very clearly. I don't need any signs. I always feel if someone doesn't know then it's probably not TF. I'm glad this is not something I knew about or was seeking before hand. It seems so many people are seeking this and want to label someone they have a connection with as such, where if they'd never heard the label they wouldn't think that it was more than deep love or attraction. Not seeking or knowing about it before it happens eliminates confusion or mislabeling. The TF thing is real but I'm convinced that its very rare. I don't know why people seek it. It's incredibly painful, in a way that will shake you to the very core of your being. It's not some fairy tale happily ever after thing. It is a spiritual battle. It is a battle between the good and evil in your very being.

What you wrote is so very true. I have been in love with my tf for about 5 years now and I only learned the term last year. It has shaken me to the very core and I'm scared that it's gonna be like this forever. Back and forth with no real progress. Him always being the runner and both of us to scared to tell the other how we really feel. I see signs everywhere that shows me he is my tf but there seems to be no change. It took almost 3 yrs for a reconnection that is now lost again. How long this time? I dream of him so much. This connection is so strong yet hurts so much. It's like a cruel joke.
I was wondering if you could expand your thoughts on it being a spiritual battle and the good and evil in your being? I feel the same way.

Originally Posted by Klairic

The love must be unconditional.
Even if you both decide you want a monogamous relationship, it still distorts the love. You would both pass up opportunities to become intimate with someone else out of fear of breaking the rules and hurting the other. Or, you wouldn't, and you would hurt them.

Actually, when you make a promise to be monogamous with someone, you make this serious commitment with the person that you genuently want to be monogamous with.

You should not make that kind of promise if you are not sure if you are able to keep it.

We can never know what's going to happen in the future, and by placing rules on how someone is supposed to behave,

People including you actually DO know what can happen in the future. Being in a monogamous relationship does not make you to be a blind. You will meet others that you find to be attractive or even desirable.
However, you would not "want" to be with others.

The "Unconditional love" seems to be very confusing to those who had never experienced it.

"Unconditional" applies to how YOU FEEL, PROTECT, and LOVE your beloved.

It is NOT about breaking promises and hurting her.
Simply, "Unconditional" is NOT about "Your freedom to behave without care" and/or to pursue "Your own human desires".

Some people do NOT have the ability to be in a monogamous relationship because they lack such capacity or desire.
Admitting that you are incapable of monogamous relationship is a good self acknowledgment.
And there is nothing wrong with it, as long as you do not make a false promise to be monogamous with someone.

Nada, I think you misunderstand me, and I've never been unfaithful. If I were to agree to it, I would not expect to have any problems to not cheat.

What I mean is that by making a promise to be monogamous, it forces both people to contort themselves, and it hinders their ability to be themselves. They must now make choices in their lives based on a set of rules rather than what it is that they would choose to do for themselves in the moment.

Unconditional love is loving someone no matter what. It comes from knowing that in essence, we are all the same. That we are all Gods and Goddesses. By not loving someone unconditionally, we're choosing to not love an aspect of ourselves. You can disagree with something that someone does, and still love them unconditionally.

By asking someone to follow your rules of what a relationship should be, you've put conditions on your love.

The essence of twin flames is to come together to dispel those ways.

[RedEmbers]

Bleck! Monogamy is such a dirty word haha! Not even swans are monogamous!

The label has never caused me any problems. Neither has there been any real doubt that mine would not be mine. Of course there is slight doubt sometimes. Thoughts like how someone so fine could ever been my tf. But luckily when that happens, people around me start to give me signs without me asking them. The universe always puts a stop to my negative thoughts. I'm amazed by your conversation.

Originally Posted by Klairic

What I mean is that by making a promise to be monogamous, it forces both people to contort themselves, and it hinders their ability to be themselves. They must now make choices in their lives based on a set of rules rather than what it is that they would choose to do for themselves in the moment.

I see your dilemma.

Your dilemma becomes null when you actually fall in love deeply with someone.
Why?

Because when you are truly in love, monogamous becomes a part of your loving ways, as you find it in your ability without any forces. It is your willing choice.
Being monogamous to the one that you love and cherish is not a rule forced on you.... but it is a natural dedication to such love that stems from a part of you.. the part that you would discover.

Originally Posted by thecenterisstill

Exactly. Some people on here - ahem - think some of us are tearing ourselves apart because of some romantic ideal of the one. Jesus god if someone else comes along and sweeps me off my feet with a beautiful, but easier, spiritual connection that shows me to myself like this has, bring it on. But even if that happens, it will never negate the magical connection I have with this man. No one, not even the man himself, can tell me this isn't real anymore.

You took the words out of my mouth Thecenterisstill. I would be open to another connection if it came my way and I would give that relationship just as much as I gave TF relationship.
I don't think we can only be happy with "the one" but I do believe nothing will ever match the connection we made. That doesn't make me miserable at all. I actually feel grateful I was given this experience in the first place.

[Adrienne]

Originally Posted by Klairic

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. It seems like this whole twin flame thing is a red herring. How can anyone ever be 100% sure of who their twin flame is? It seems like anything you could do to confirm, could also be faked. And then, what's the point anyways? Who cares if it's a twin flame relationship or not.

I've been "testing" this for 2 years now. I keep feeling like I'm "sure". And then, something else will come up and say "well, what about this? this seems possible." And if there's one possible way that it's not true, then I can't know who my twin flame it.

I'm going to give up on trying to call this woman a twin flame. There is no point. I'd rather try to be friends.

" should we throw out the twin flame idea ?" ......great idea ! you can always settle for a twin fish , just don't limit yourself to a red herring, there are other fish in the sea.