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Originally Posted by livingkarma
This guy likes to be in control of the situation & is ...
Keeps you running after in, keeps you conforming to his whims
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Well honestly the only reason I've let him stay in control is because if this whole deal goes sour, then it will affect my ability to work, and right now work is my priority. In a normal situation (where two people have two seperate lives and normal jobs) I would have been more forceful in getting what I want because then if things went bad, I would never have to see him again and it wouldn't affect my job either.
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In not asking you out on a date he has made his intentions clear ...
He wants a relationship of strickly convenience ...
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Well he can't really take me on a real date here...he doesn't have a car so it's always me or another coworker driving us places, and our only free time is at 7 am (whats open then, besides Walmart and the bar we go to). When we first met, he said someday he'll take me to this really romantic resteraunt back home near where we both live, I asked how could he do that since we don't have our breaks at the same time and he said we'll figure something out! lol Of course he has no control over that, since he HAS to be at work when i'm not there to cover my job for me, but I think he meant someday when one or both of us isn't working there anymore.
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No whooing, no emotional investment, giving, reciprocation, spending money, special couple times, etc ...
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Actually he has spent money on me, he contributed the most of anyone for my birthday (everyone just gave me money), he also has bought me a lot of drinks over the last year...keep in mind he has no car so he has no way of getting to the store unless I or someone else drives him there.
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But in giving him control, you're allowing him to make the rules as you demonstrate your willingness to participate in his game ...
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I don't feel like he's all in control though, after all, it is ME who won't let him have sex with me. If I ever gave that up, he would have won! lol But like I said, I wouldnt be so passive about this if we weren't living/working together so much.
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Only you can do that for yourself by looking elsewhere for a person with whom you can have a meaningful relationship ...
This is how to stay loving & spiritual w/yourself, letting go of him will also do it ...
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Well if by some miracle another guy gets hired there who likes me who I also like (extremely low odds), I'd go for it, of course!
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