Ability of deceased to communicate

[Lynn]

Hello

I have come to find that much of the time its not a matter of what the spirit wants to do, its knowing when the person is ready to revive a visit. For me I lost me Dad when I was 25 and planning my wedding. Here one day and gone the next he was. I was upset and angry for a long time. I never had a visit from him. It was when I had me first Son that is when he finally came to me. I was not ready to receive, had to clear the path that I had to walk to the point where him coming in would not change that path.

For me that path was not to marry, for me to keep my identity in the relationship I have and with the family I was to marry into. It was the right choice for the whole family, It was so that the kids had me name and not the mate's again for good reasons.

As a Medium I have been with one's at that moment of passing and have at times been with their families there as well for them to experience seeing their LOVed one cross over. To sense that they were not alone in that crossing. In that is a trust and respect connection with me, my guide and the person passing. Its a bond that is allowed that I feel is given a blessing to happen.

I have had one's cross and come right back in, other's take the time to do so. We have to be ready I feel to receive on many levels. Its too easy to hold onto the loss an not move forwards, to hold onto the person that is gone and not move forwards. At times if the passed LOVed one was to come in right off we might want to keep that happening or keep that feeling and fall into the path of not letting go.

Death is just a transformation, we move from physical back to energy but we so tie to the pleasures of the physical person we hold onto that.

Lynn

Originally Posted by Lynn

Death is just a transformation, we move from physical back to energy but we so tie to the pleasures of the physical person we hold onto that.
Lynn

Truly enjoyed your thoughts and observations on this Lynn... :^)

And I would love to focus specifically on your last point... When our soul generated this physical experience (by immersing us in to this current theme) it then created something of a smaller (?) version of itself.... and because of our physical context ( the part where we feel isolated from each other) then our "personality" appears to be separately defined as well. As a "person" we've come to view ourselves as separate from our original source. We "define" ourselves in this way, so when we pass-on we are then faced with the conundrum that emerges from this interpretation of "different". I suspect there is a necessary need for "re-integration" with the soul, and yet the 'personality' that we now take for normal may well resist this, thinking that their "life" is in danger of disappearing completely. The more earth-bound we become in our defining-of-self,the harder this transition/re-integration would likely be.

This may partly explain the variables we often see when another passes over... there may well be a period when they must individually contend with this dichotomy. It may also be that when they do reconnect with us in some way that they are simulating for us a context that's familiar to both of us, but which only minutely reflects what they are now more-fully a part of.

[Lynn]

[b][i][color="Blue"]
And I would love to focus specifically on your last point... When our soul generated this physical experience (by immersing us in to this current theme) it then created something of a smaller (?) version of itself....

Here is where I might well see or view things a bit different than other's, I see the Soul as the "whole being or picture" its the collective of all beings and things in the Universe the "collective" and from there springs off shoots. I have to feel that as we can access so much knowegde that at times seems out of reach to us that we have it all but we cant possibly use it all in the one lifetime.

An example here I can maybe use is "we are all Mediums but to those that feel they are pure in the "Gifts" given to only then I get called out on that a lot. I feel we all have that in us but for many a reasons we do not all open that page of the book. Like all things we are there is the light and the dark side of what comes forth. Now I do not mean dark as in Evil Spirits I mean the things one has to deal with. Death for some would not be something they could deal with or seeing a Spirit or Ghost would not be something they could emotionally handle in this life. I feel that we are given the parts of the Soul body that is to experience what is needed for learning. We can easily say we experience things the same but do we really. We in the physical body are individual on many levels and connected on many other's. One person can look to the clouds and see shapes while another only see's clouds or you see the same shape.

I do not really know where this "I" or "Individual" thinking had its roots in. As a woman and having had three children they had to be a part of me to come to be them-self. So in that I was connected to them as they were to me. In that was the child ever an individual in that it took two to make it and one to carry it.

When it comes to working with Spirits there are many times I do not just have the one that has been asked for come forth to me I have layers of them at times come in or someone that has not even been thought on come in. Why I know from experience that they hold the message needed is all and I trust in that being for the persons greatest and highest good.

It is very rare that someone comes to be Earth Bound and I so assure one's that if this happens there is no sense of time and space to the one passed over, and there are many like me out there that are open channels for them to find and get help (if its wanted). There seems to be free will still in place as well one can not force a Spirit or Ghost to go. ( from personal experience only) nor would I force such.

What does hold many back is that unknowing of what is to come, or fear of Hell or such teachings being instilled in them, doing a wrong dead, such as murder, or taking of one's own life. Fear of not seeing a LOVed on again on the other side, or not being wanted still by them. The most common reason I find is fear on some level or needing something solved. Rare there is the case when one does not know one has gone. In this the work is deeper for me as I re live with them their death event.

and because of our physical context ( the part where we feel isolated from each other) then our "personality" appears to be separately defined as well. As a "person" we've come to view ourselves as separate from our original source. We "define" ourselves in this way, so when we pass-on we are then faced with the conundrum that emerges from this interpretation of "different". I suspect there is a necessary need for "re-integration" with the soul, and yet the 'personality' that we now take for normal may well resist this, thinking that their "life" is in danger of disappearing completely. The more earth-bound we become in our defining-of-self,the harder this transition/re-integration would likely be.




Lynn

[Tobi]

One thing I have learned is that we have to leave them until they are good-and-ready to either visit us, or to communicate with us.
Sometimes, I've noticed -when there is a particular attunement of one Soul to another- they can sense our love, and are capable of sending us love, from whatever dimensional plane they happen to be on. (as love is wonderful at going absolutely anywhere!) -without ever having to lower their own vibrations, or "travel" anywhere. Then, when they are good and ready, and whenever the moment seems right for them, they can visit -quite freely, and of their own accord.

But I think although we never need to "let go of them" in the sense that we ever have to say "farewell" -we have to realize that they need to do stuff where they are! And one thing we shouldn't send them is fretting, worry, sorrow, pain, our own personal problems, things from lower levels of us. That will not be a loving thing to do. Instead be loving, be grateful , be happy. And trust. And send love, that radiance from the heart. The best is an unconditional love which just loves because it can't imagine doing anything else, and expects nothing. If and when they can they may well visit us when they are ready.

[Wandering_Star]

My father died in mid-December. Our relationship was very difficult, but I was able to forgive him in his last months, and on the day he died I told him that (and apologized for my own part in it). He was comatose, but as soon as I said it I felt...something. I knew he'd heard me, and understood, and everything was fine.

He knew I'd had a previous post-death visit from my best friend, and I was also open to any communication from him--but in the weeks after his death nothing came.

Then again, I didn't need comforting; as I said to my mother, "I cried all the tears I'm ever going to over him while he was still alive." He died of cancer, and I felt bad for him because it was such a terrible ordeal. I'd also, in the year leading up to his cancer diagnosis, learned to have compassion for him despite his awful behavior. He suffered from an undiagnosed (and, frankly, untreatable) personality disorder that masked a life lived in constant fear with cruel, manipulative, selfish behavior, and as hard as he made my life (especially as a child), that could not have been an easy way to live.

I had learned to love him as another soul sharing this journey on earth. But I didn't love his earthly ego-self very well. It was a relief when he died, frankly, and that sense of relief has not faded, even though I've had no problem sending loving messages to him on a soul level. So I chalked up his lack of contact to that--I didn't need to hear from him, didn't need comforting, and that was that.

Then, three weeks ago, I finally heard from him. The first time was in a dream; we met at a major transit hub airport where he was connecting to his flight to New Orleans. He was going to be there for only a few days, then head on to Zimbabwe. He was wearing brand new safari-style clothes, and was flustered because his new communications device (an ugly prototype of an Apple product called the iBox) was too noisy. He said he'd tried calling me on it, but couldn't get through because of all the noise (and it was noisy--lots of electronic static, plus it made a mechanical clunking noise). It also had a printer inside of it, but he was having a hard time printing out his boarding passes, and he was distracted by that as we talked.

Finally, I took the iBox, printed his boarding passes for him, and after a few more minutes' conversation sent him on his way. It was more of a "touch bases" kind of visit than a warm, loving reunion, but it was okay.

A couple of days later, I woke up, picked up my iPhone (which was tangled in my sheets), and when I unlocked it his Contacts page was open on the screen. It's possible that it had opened accidentally by being bumped around in my bed, but for me to do it intentionally requires scrolling far down my list of contacts. I thought it might be him, but couldn't be sure. So the following night I left my phone on the dresser, away from the bed, where it would remain undisturbed. The next morning, I woke up, went to pick up my phone--and there was his Contacts page again. That time, it was unmistakably him.

I haven't had any direct contact with him since, but when I think about him I do feel a sense of connectedness to him, and that connection feels so much lighter and more positive than our earthbound relationship ever was. I get the sense that however difficult our relationship was, we succeeded at whatever roles we agreed to play for each other. Maybe he agreed to be an awful parent, and my challenge was to learn to rise above it, develop compassion for him and ultimately forgive him? It sure feels like it.

I have no idea whether he will try to directly contact me again. I would not be surprised or hurt if he doesn't; we don't seem to have any unfinished business left.

To Wandering Star:
Wow, what a beautiful post. I was so moved by how you were able to separate your Dad's humanness from his Spirit, and how honest you are with your feelings about his human personality/ego. I am so very very glad that you were able to make your peace with forgiveness before he crossed over.

My Dad, who crossed over last Halloween, was a difficult man to have as a father too. He was abusive throughout my childhood, and it was in my late 20s (i'm nosing up to 50 soon) that I found I was at a crossroads with my relationship to him: I would either cut him out of my life, or forgive him and relate to him - but on my terms. I decided to forgive and our relationship got healthier through the years until his passing. For this I am so grateful because it is helping with my grieving. And now I still hope to share a relationship somehow with him in his Spirit form.

Sorry to the OP - did not mean to hijack this thread. I just had to respond to your wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it - it was medicine to my heart!

[Tobi]

Wandering Star, that really is a truly amazing story, and inspiring, though not an easy thing to go through, for either you or your Dad.
Thank you for sharing. I found it very moving indeed.

Originally Posted by StephenK

Same thing applies to them as well.... geez.... :^)

You know, a friend of mine in Adelaide and I jokingly worked on an American/Australian dictionary......could it be semantics?.....I mostly agree with what you have said as it regards a spirit in physical, but not a spirit in spirit and that was what I was trying to say...

Originally Posted by Juanita

You know, a friend of mine in Adelaide and I jokingly worked on an American/Australian dictionary......could it be semantics?.....I mostly agree with what you have said as it regards a spirit in physical, but not a spirit in spirit and that was what I was trying to say...

I can see how you could view it this way.... when it comes to words and reasoning we can mush around clumsily in all sorts of wet swamps. :^)

Here's what I'm trying to do while I'm writing about this... many years ago I saw something... I interpret this experience as my "being in the presence of my soul" because while there, there was no ambiguity... you simply can't be in the presence of your soul and not know that this is what it is.... I am it, and it is me... only I'm being defined and it isn't...

So when I write you about this I'm trying to highlight the distinction between what it is for us to be "soul", and then what it is for us to be "here". Most of what is being interpreted as "soul communication" is actually a more humanized expression of a soul... and not really the soul itself. When mediums communicate with the "other side" they are likely communicating with humanized shadows, abit at a higher vibration, and then mistaking this for the soul itself... So trying to define the soul based on these images would leave us thinking that the soul would have issues that are ones we can relate to... in essence, this would be like a kindergarten child watching a first grader, then trying to use this to describe what an adult is.

In a really dark way... our souls are behind the things that ail us... the spirits that cross over are not what a soul is.... In many cases these crossed over spirits are just as lost as we are... a crossed-over spirit is not the soul...the soul itself defines our challenges.... meaning they put us through hell on purpose... a challenge is another word for hardship.. what I'm attempting to point out is that our soul is not what folks have been describing as soul... mediums are mostly playing with shadows... should the "soul" itself enter in any perceptible way, then the resulting shock waves would break apart what we think of as "matter"...

[Lynn]

In a really dark way... our souls are behind the things that ail us... the spirits that cross over are not what a soul is.... In many cases these crossed over spirits are just as lost as we are... a crossed-over spirit is not the soul...the soul itself defines our challenges.... meaning they put us through hell on purpose... a challenge is another word for hardship.. what I'm attempting to point out is that our soul is not what folks have been describing as soul... mediums are mostly playing with shadows... should the "soul" itself enter in any perceptible way, then the resulting shock waves would break apart what we think of as "matter"... Stephen K.
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Hello

As a Medium I am not sure I "play with shadows" that to me would be a totally different inter dimensional being known as "Shadow People". That said its just for clarity in how I work with things.

What is it that a Medium works with, well the essence of whom a person was....so yes if they had a life of hardship or of lots of challenges I would for sure pick up on that aspect of them. That does not mean though that the struggles are still with them as gone is the physical feelings and emotions come into that place as well. I pick up on the vibration of one's life that was, as they are now energy not matter.

The Soul to me is a collective consciousness that we are given branches of in each life we come into, I feel to finally end any journey we have to fulfill all aspects of what being man is. The good life and the not so good life. Is it hardship ? its easy for us to look at the face of someone and go life has been hard but in the next life that might well be us.

The only time I encounter Spirits that are lost is when they are still in that place of suspension where I term them Ghosts where they are more matter than energy that final transition has not been done. Then they can be very much lost and confused, and at times not the most fun to deal with. That too is the role a Medium takes on to be that person of contact that can help them see and feel what has happened to them and at times bring some closure to a death event.

I do not think we can link directly with the Soul but we can find that match to us that supports our very Soul. This can be a mate or a friend....or even a total stranger that is there at the right time in our life for us.

Lynn