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Originally Posted by charly233
Thanks for your reply. Sorry you also experience this fear. I think that maybe a lot of people experience this.
Yes any resources and tips etc for dealing with this hellfire fear would be very helpful.
I am glad you believe you can still thrive as a spiritual person.
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The most informative resource I've found is Dr. Ted Witzig's video on YouTube - Scrupulosity: Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gE6D2Ra2Yc
It's full of a wealth of information and resources. Watching it was like, "Wow. Finally. This makes sense. It's not me." And I was able to get the help I needed. I ended up deconverting from the Christian faith because it was so triggering and am now working on rewiring my brain with the help of pharmaceuticals and therapy (the brain has elasticity and really can be rewired with intention, mindfulness and meditation, and learning the true nature and character of love). Witzig is actually a Christian, but keeps the video clinical and it's the most exhaustive resource I've been able to find. He does make one reference to his spiritual beliefs about demonic activity (trigger warning) - he says the disorder is purely a chemical imbalance and that the dark force can sometimes ride it like a surfboard. It's a long video and you might want to take it in sessions.
Those with Religious OCD want certainty and perfect security and do not feel "okay" without it. But certainty for those with Scrupulosity only triggers the next cycle of fear. Counterintuitively, learning to live with a little uncertainty has the ultimate effect of being able to "live in the moment" more, and frees one from dwelling too much on the pain of the past or fears of the future. I have a mantra when I do get a wave of anxiety: "Nevertheless, this is my NOW." And I focus mindfully on what I'm grateful for in the here and now.
Lastly, there are FB groups for people with the disorder. Some are too full of reassurance-seeking and -giving and faith-based solutions to a medical issue (which most often are maladaptive). A more healthy one is: Secular Scrupulosity OCD -
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1035876703961770
Abundant wellness and love to you.