Can't Meditate? Is meditation hard?

[Unseeking Seeker]

Originally Posted by 4existence

What is it that is "feeling" the breathing? Doesn't the breath arise in awareness? Isn't awareness primary to the breath? Could awareness be the bare essential?

Awareness … innate vibrancy of aliveness. Indeed. That that doesn’t abate. Then of course, the source so enabling. We meld therein, without searching. Simply being.

[Gem]

Not to getting caught up with what could be. The reality as it is for you only lives in this moment. It is all too easy to be tempted and distracted, but in reality, you are here and 'this' is what it's like or you. If you feel discontent due to a need for more than this, that is a clue to the issue.

There are purposes to this meditation including: bringing about quietude; honing sensitivity of perception; increasing attention span; establishing mindfulness the other aspects of your life and; initiating purification. It isn't a means of having spectacular experiences, and practice impelled by such cravings is misguided.

Everyone wants contentment. We have to consider that contentment is our 'true state', and the reason we do not feel content is we unintentionally generate unhappiness.

Experiences pass and have nothing to do with your contentment. When special experiences do happen, they are consequential to the practice - not the goal. Enjoy it while it lasts, but don't be distracted. Since experiences are momentary and do not last, there is no point being concerned with them, and temptation, craving, avoiding and clinging to experience is a deep root of discontent.

If you want experiences you'll be impelled by desire and led by temptation into discontent. If you want the truth, your experiences will keep passing as they inevitably do, and since it is not dependent on them, contentment will become more constant.

Feeling your breathing every day or twice a day is no big ask, and anyone can do it. Don't add unnecessaries. Just one task - feel yourself breathing.

[Gem]

Usually you start the meditation and it's all good. When the mind wanders off, that is good because you notice, 'look how the mind wanders away'. I'm not saying you start watching the mind - you just notice your mind is running away with you and keep feeling breathing. If the mind wanders you can know that and be peaceful.

Because you're intent with breath awareness, you are not being entertained mind's meanderings, and thus you follow it less and less.

The typical distraction-free attention span in breath meditation is less than a minute - maybe between 10 and 30 seconds lets say. You might think that sounds really short, but I've meditated with literally thousands of people, and not many can say they consistently have full attention for a minute. People will say I can hold for 30 minutes or whatever, but if they try this meditation, most will find that's untrue.

If you count or something it's easier because you generate such thoughts to drown out the usual erratic thoughts such as you have all through the day. If you don't count or anything and 'just watch', you realise, 'Far out - I've been living with a mind like this'. We're learning about ourselves and becoming self-aware.

When you keep noticing it, it can't get by you unaware. That means what used to play out unconsciously all the time is now something you are consciously aware of. That's excellent progress, so be happy.

Progress is insight, what you realise is true, and now you have insight into yourself like 'I'm more erratic than I thought, and I never realised til now how distracted I really am'. No problem. It's simply a fact you found out.

After a lot of practice, the attention can consistently stay still for 5-10 minutes or so (that's actually pretty exceptional), and the time you spend in distraction becomes shorter. If you see me meditating there, for 1 hour, 90 minutes, I'm sitting still like a goddam Buddha statue, but attention is not stable the whole time. In a deep, alert and sensitive state, the mind wanders off or a few minutes, and I return to my breathing. Wandering doesn't make me lose depth, alertness and sensitivity - I come back to breath just as deep as I was before. Wandering mind doesn't disturb the mind.

On the other hand, a wild mind is unsettled, agitated anxious, and not deep, alert or sensitive... That one needs to be tamed and honed into being sensitive, which is a main purpose of breath awareness meditation.

Very tricky is that aspect of the mind. 'Itsy tricksy,' as Gollum would say. If it gets wild and you do something to make it not wild, it's already got you. If you count or something to abate it, this is ultimately an avoidance and you aren't facing it. You don't do anything except return to breathing over and over, just as you intend.

If the mind gets wild, agitated, like, impatient, bored, frustrated or something along those lines, it isn't a fight, but you can't let it rule you. If it whines like a baby, 'I don't like it, I'm bored, nothing's happening, I can't do this, why's it so hard, it isn't working, I don't feel like it, when is time up,' and the rest, it will try to take over and make you its little b-word, but you better realise who is the master of this house, because all this time ego has been ruling the roost.

It's better to understand that I want to feel my breathing for 30 minutes, or an hour, or whatever you think is doable, and do NOT let the wild one take you off track. This feels like work, but not a battle. Think of it like the mind is a wild bronco you are training. It kicks and jumps and throws its head around, and you are the kind master who persists patiently, systematically for however long it takes until the 'horse' realises it is not the master of you. You are the master of your mind, and when the wild 'horse' understands that, it will not be so bothersome.

For most of us, our minds are erratic, distracted and wildly inane. This madman goes to deep places we don't even know about yet, but what I'm saying is a good way to find out.

[Lavender Moonchild]

Lovely... Thank you very much for this post...
I think I always try to do too much. Then I end up not doing any at all.

I always heard it takes 3 weeks to break a habit and 6 to make one...
But the internet suggests that 18-254 days is what it takes to form a habit (depending on the person) and 66 days until a thing becomes automatic.

So I think I will try and challenge myself to the 66 day thing. Yoga and meditation first thing in the morning. Wish me luck! ^~^

[Gem]

Just thought I'd come back to this one.
Simple as possible.
Breaking the habits of an agitated mind: impatience, boredom, procrastination and all adversity and negativity.
Keeping a calm, content disposition, feel the breath coming and going.
Mind wanders away, each time returning and resuming the meditation.
Other feelings enter the body, intense, uncomfortable, pleasant and unpleasant, but without distraction or reaction, continue awareness of breath calmly, persistently, deliberately.
Add nothing. Take everything away leaving only pure witness feeling the air as it comes in, goes out.

[Gem]

The method is simple. Just feel your breath. By keeping attention on the present feeling, there is a more relaxed and open mind-state as stress related to future and past thoughts decreases. In addition, attending to the real-lived feeling reduces tendencies to fantasize.

The mind will wander. That can be expected. After a while you realise "mind wandered away" and simply resume your meditation. If you think wandering mind is a problem, you'll react to it, and reacting is precisely what agitates the mind, so don't react or have any opinion. It's simply true that mind wandered off, and resume meditation.

The posture is not critical, but still somewhat important. Sitting up cross legged will be beneficial in the long term. Westerners aren't accustomed to it, so perched on a chair is good enough if necessary. Reclining or laying down are least optimal, and probably not necessary for anyone, still OK, but not as good. Ideally, one would set up a 'meditation nest' with a mat and some cushions, pillows and blankets which is comfortable to sit up in.

[Gem]

A bit more detail.

The best place to feel your breath is at the nose - inside nostril, entrance of a nostril or just under the nose somewhere. Many say feel the belly or the torso, which is OK, but not as good.

The reasons are:

The feeling at the nose is subtler and requires more concentration to feel
The area is small, which gives the mind a more point like focus
Investigating a small area enables you to feel finer details, which helps to make the mind more sensitive

Once seated and settled for meditation, see if you can feel the air inside the nose, at the entrance of the nostrils or just beneath the nose somewhere. Inside the nose might be the easiest place to start, but wherever you first feel something, pay attention to that feeling. If you don't feel anything for a while, breath slightly harder so you just feel something, and keep attention on that spot as you return to normal, natural breathing.

As the body and mind become more relaxed the breathing will become less and less making it harder to feel anything, and this helps you to really pay full attention. You'll notice that the air feels a bit warmer going out, colder coming in, and that's enough. If after a while the breath becomes very slight and you can't feel anything, breathe slightly harder for a few breaths so you can at least feel something, anything, and keep paying attention to that feeling as you return to natural breathing.

If you want to read up a bit on what they say about it, google 'anapana nostrils' (anapana means breath awareness). It won't be as good as what I say about it, but it might offer some perspective. Most of them will say do some deep breathing, count breaths and all that stuff. Don't do that. Breathe naturally. Only use harder breathing for the reason I explained. Cheers.

Actually, found this on Google. Approved. http://www.thierrycuvillier-academy....on-english.pdf

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Gem

The feeling at the nose is subtler and requires more concentration to feel
The area is small, which gives the mind a more point like focus
Investigating a small area enables you to feel finer details, which helps to make the mind more sensitive.

The way you talk about meditation here, it sounds like your practice is very mental in nature. I personally prefer to meditate with an emphasis on physical relaxation, I've found that approach more effective for me personally.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by A human Being

The way you talk about meditation here, it sounds like your practice is very mental in nature. I personally prefer to meditate with an emphasis on physical relaxation, I've found that approach more effective for me personally.

In this meditation, physical relaxation is a main part of it. The whole meditation is observation of the physical feeling and there are no mental activities. You just observe. We tend to find is it's relaxing but before too long it might get a bit uncomfortable and the mind starts getting impatient, bored and/or other sorts of stress - and you realise - 'this is my life'. Although the meditation itself is simply relaxing and feeling the breath, the mind gets involuntarily wild very easily not just in a meditation session, but all the time day to day. The practice is relaxation and observation, but it's really the truth about your life.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Gem

The whole meditation is observation of the physical feeling and there are no mental activities.

But observation is a mental activity, surely?