back away from the cage.

[Internal Queries]

Originally Posted by Mathew James

This is just an idea IQ, but if the demon reduces as you approach infanthood, you may need to go back and find the place where the demon first introduced itself to you. imo, since you had an old school catholic upbringing you were inpacted by heavy religious doctrines at an early age. Children should never have the idea of religion pushed on them when they are real young. Children have very open minds that are easily influenced and the concepts of religious doctrines that are false teachings can bring many evils into children. You need to go find the place where you first met this demon and see it for what it truly is.

i agree that my early religious indoctrination (very dark and heavy) had, and on some subconscious levels still has, influences on my psyche. however, my "demon" isn't something i "met". it's something i unconsciously created, a survival mechanism, a survival mechanism that is now obsolete. it's like a mine field after the war is over. no longer needed but still potentially explosive.

Imagine how much you will be able to elucidate others, once you kick this "thing" to the curb...

All things in our lives have "purpose".

IQ- I think you and I are living two different versions of the same life. I'm not stalking you, ;) but I just read a few more of your posts and it's uncanny.

Pardon me for offering my insight, but this post really spoke to me. I wouldn't be surprised if the monster was created to protect you from your mother. It absorbed her and became her, as it acted as a first line of defense protecting you.

The things a child mind comes up with. It's astonishing actually. I think that we are so grateful to our demons for saving our lives that we feel guilty about getting rid of them. I didn't need to get rid of my hateful self. I did try to lock her up, but having her "cage" exist in my consciousness meant she still affected my thinking. And my actions.

I began to suspect that silencing her and ignoring her was not helping. I tried instead to understand and appreciate what and how she did what she did for me. I encouraged my better self to befriend her. I wrote out a dialogue between the two of us and I let her say whatever awful things she wanted to. She had those weapons razor sharp. But I let her speak, and I listened to her with compassion and I spoke to her of my "new" truth. And I fell in love with her. And my love for her has transformed us both.

how beautifully brave you are dp

an enchanting post.



popped into my head , came .... 'it's hard to be a brave from a distance'

[Internal Queries]

Originally Posted by DulcePoetica

IQ- I think you and I are living two different versions of the same life. I'm not stalking you, ;) but I just read a few more of your posts and it's uncanny.

Pardon me for offering my insight, but this post really spoke to me. I wouldn't be surprised if the monster was created to protect you from your mother. It absorbed her and became her, as it acted as a first line of defense protecting you.

The things a child mind comes up with. It's astonishing actually. I think that we are so grateful to our demons for saving our lives that we feel guilty about getting rid of them. I didn't need to get rid of my hateful self. I did try to lock her up, but having her "cage" exist in my consciousness meant she still affected my thinking. And my actions.

I began to suspect that silencing her and ignoring her was not helping. I tried instead to understand and appreciate what and how she did what she did for me. I encouraged my better self to befriend her. I wrote out a dialogue between the two of us and I let her say whatever awful things she wanted to. She had those weapons razor sharp. But I let her speak, and I listened to her with compassion and I spoke to her of my "new" truth. And I fell in love with her. And my love for her has transformed us both.

hi again Dulce, lol i know you aren't stalking me. i too tend to read the posts of those folks to whom i relate.

you're right that my "demon" is the absorbtion of my mother's negativity and that it became a "fighting fire with fire" protective devise. i did try to salvage it before i caged it but it's just pure malice through and through. i had some small inkling of what the wholesale caging of this creation might do to my psyche but i felt i didn't have any choice. either cage it or it would grow and i'd be my mother. **shudder**

and that's the thing ... if i just turned it loose to try talk to it it would be my mother and there was never any reasoning with her. and i sure don't need her yapping in my head again.

thus far the efforts being made to vanquish the beast and get to the hidden child is sporatic. i expected a frontal asault on it, nets and capture sticks in hand, but instead it's being chipped in bits and pieces, hurtful memories and the attendent rage dealt with in small doses. a smarter approach, i suppose but it's gonna take awhile.

Put the fear of God into your Demon, It seems to work for others,
The innocent child is bright and full of joy. A thing of the shadows is not its best guardian. A thing of the shadows belongs in its twilight world, A thing of history belongs in the past. Every moment after a bad time is a moment further away from it. therefore it's expulsion is assured if you flood, saturate your life with both joy and light, develope a resonance with the child, reach out the hand of love and bring forth the child from its prison.

can i stick my beak in here again , and say

there would have been a certain sychronicity to these 'events' via (imo) 'your' choice of seed bearer

the two become one

.... there will be gifts (tools) there.







.

Thanks for saying that. Sometimes I get bashful and think no one really wants to hear about my truest truth.

Originally Posted by blackfellawhitefella

how beautifully brave you are dp

an enchanting post.



popped into my head , came .... 'it's hard to be a brave from a distance'

well ,

you can throw that thought out


thankyou , for being you.






(bfwf bows head in respect)








.

[deztini3]

This is the craziest thing ive ever read. Imaginary friends inside your head? Trying to unlock some imagined cage with an actual problem? Im guessing that whenever you think about your past you become unstable. Well, youre unstable right now. If you cannot control whats going on inside your own head then your need to question it. Having all those things conflicting each other inside your head isnt good for you. There should be only one you. And those friends of yours are merely your subconsciousness telling you that you need to deal with the problem before it happens when its to late for you to deal with. Prepare yourself to unleash that demon and through will you can tame it. Whatever happened in the past. It is the past. It happened and you must accept that. You cannot and will never change it, you must realize and accept that you must deal with your personal problems through will and acceptance. Accept the problem, forgive the individuals that may have had part in conflicting your suffering. They are souls damaged way beyond you will ever be and for that you should pitty them. By hiding their conflicted damage within your own subconsciousness, you are letting them drag you down closer to their level. You must not let that happen. Stay strong, dont be afraid, acknowledge what has happened in the past. Then turn that demon into your true, good hearted self and submerge with it, hence eliminating it.