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23-06-2011, 08:59 PM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,170
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Tragblack
Quote:... seems that the OP's list would cover just about anyone...
I Hope not as what I have mentioned is behaviors that are solid and to the extreme and belief cultural systems I ( meaning little old me) Don't want! It certainly doesn't mean what you or what any other person wants ) .. I think people coming from abusive relationships and feeling vulnerable may heal a bit from knowing what really harmed them? ( staying with a person who is not committed to positive growth together can be very harmful and unloving )
There's something about this thread that seems so... off. There's no point in making a list.
If People can have a list on body size ..shape .. hair color ..race .. religion ..habits .
what they do want ... why cant they say what they don't?... this thread is as I said created from similar threads to what a man what and woman wants ....in another..! Its Individual..
I'm not God so of course I don't sit and say what others want or not.
Its about Me ... Is that okay? Self Love First..Finallly!!!
Anyone you are ever going to be with is going to have some kind of problem or habit that you aren't going to like.
Yet again I am talking on a regular daily basis .. there are relationships that are soul destroying ..maybe you have not had one ..? I don't know..
Also The people that are the victims to abuse.. deserve Love!!! ...And to avoid following in grained patterns and drawing in similar type people...maybe they actually do need to be aware of what they don't want..don't you think?
Of course we all have habits that another doesn't like ... And may have fragments of what I listed ..
This is thread is not meant to be negative I am sorry if you see it in some distasteful light..
Its Perspective I guess .. also I am sorry as it seems to make you uncomfortable.
It could range from really bad to just a surface issue, but there are always problems in a relationship. (Not always as in non-stop, but there will always be a disagreement here or there.)
Hey nothing wrong with airing differences its how its done and resolved.. Of course there will always be a differences here and there I agree!
The goal is not to find someone that won't ever disappoint you. The goal is to find someone you love unconditionally, and loves you back the same way-- which means embracing some bad habits, and respecting each other enough to work on them.
Working on them is the key and respecting each other YES!!!. I don't think respectfully you understand where this thread is coming.
Its not a Unloving thread ...
Are we basing this list off of ideals that we've never had, or past experiences in relationship? How many people here have ever actually been in a long term relationship with these issues described?
I have does that make me super picky "No".. it makes me aware ..that there are some people I simply Don't want to be with ..( mmm Whats wrong with that?)
Its an opinion post ..Ideals???? No.. reality for some ..I feel you are directing the thread from what is intended my friend.. On every discussion post there is an opinion or ideal in some form what makes this one different?
Relationships have so many levels... and making a list like this severely lowers the amount of people we may actually seek out and love in our lives, just based off of initial judgements.
I really don't think people walked around with a list summing a person up straight away ..nor can they choose who they love .. but they can certainly choose to avoid what is harmful and destructive to them.
Of course relationships have many levels I totally agree . I Don't remember stating "Initial judgments" of another . Nor do I feel we stop seeking what we yearn..which is "LOVE" How a person perceives Love is their business ..not mine .. okay ..I have my own perceptions ... And like all other humans am entitled :)
I'm sure many of us posting here have some of these undesireable habits andproblems mentioned. No one is perfect. I am flawed-- I have probably committed every offense on anybody's list, to some degree, give or take a few. Does that mean I should not expect anyone to want to love me?
Yes of course no-one is perfect ..I don't have a halo on my head .. LOL ( oophs just checking... Nah I don't) Core values are important to suit who I am . No-one said anything about a person being unlovable ..I may not choose a relationship this does not mean I don't nor didn't love.
Everyone needs love.
TRUE !!!
(Both people in the relationship deserves love )
*HUG*
:)
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24-06-2011, 12:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiler
Tragblac
Quote:... seems that the OP's list would cover just about anyone...
I Hope not as what I have mentioned is behaviors that are solid and to the extreme and belief cultural systems I ( meaning little old me) Don't want! It certainly doesn't mean what you or what any other person wants ) .. I think people coming from abusive relationships and feeling vulnerable may heal a bit from knowing what really harmed them? ( staying with a person who is not committed to positive growth together can be very harmful and unloving )
There's something about this thread that seems so... off. There's no point in making a list.
If People can have a list on body size ..shape .. hair color ..race .. religion ..habits .
what they do want ... why cant they say what they don't?... this thread is as I said created from similar threads to what a man what and woman wants ....in another..! Its Individual..
I'm not God so of course I don't sit and say what others want or not.
Its about Me ... Is that okay? Self Love First..Finallly!!!
Anyone you are ever going to be with is going to have some kind of problem or habit that you aren't going to like.
Yet again I am talking on a regular daily basis .. there are relationships that are soul destroying ..maybe you have not had one ..? I don't know..
Also The people that are the victims to abuse.. deserve Love!!! ...And to avoid following in grained patterns and drawing in similar type people...maybe they actually do need to be aware of what they don't want..don't you think?
Of course we all have habits that another doesn't like ... And may have fragments of what I listed ..
This is thread is not meant to be negative I am sorry if you see it in some distasteful light..
Its Perspective I guess .. also I am sorry as it seems to make you uncomfortable.
It could range from really bad to just a surface issue, but there are always problems in a relationship. (Not always as in non-stop, but there will always be a disagreement here or there.)
Hey nothing wrong with airing differences its how its done and resolved.. Of course there will always be a differences here and there I agree!
The goal is not to find someone that won't ever disappoint you. The goal is to find someone you love unconditionally, and loves you back the same way-- which means embracing some bad habits, and respecting each other enough to work on them.
Working on them is the key and respecting each other YES!!!. I don't think respectfully you understand where this thread is coming.
Its not a Unloving thread ...
Are we basing this list off of ideals that we've never had, or past experiences in relationship? How many people here have ever actually been in a long term relationship with these issues described?
I have does that make me super picky "No".. it makes me aware ..that there are some people I simply Don't want to be with ..( mmm Whats wrong with that?)
Its an opinion post ..Ideals???? No.. reality for some ..I feel you are directing the thread from what is intended my friend.. On every discussion post there is an opinion or ideal in some form what makes this one different?
Relationships have so many levels... and making a list like this severely lowers the amount of people we may actually seek out and love in our lives, just based off of initial judgements.
I really don't think people walked around with a list summing a person up straight away ..nor can they choose who they love .. but they can certainly choose to avoid what is harmful and destructive to them.
Of course relationships have many levels I totally agree . I Don't remember stating "Initial judgments" of another . Nor do I feel we stop seeking what we yearn..which is "LOVE" How a person perceives Love is their business ..not mine .. okay ..I have my own perceptions ... And like all other humans am entitled :)
I'm sure many of us posting here have some of these undesireable habits andproblems mentioned. No one is perfect. I am flawed-- I have probably committed every offense on anybody's list, to some degree, give or take a few. Does that mean I should not expect anyone to want to love me?
Yes of course no-one is perfect ..I don't have a halo on my head .. LOL ( oophs just checking... Nah I don't) Core values are important to suit who I am . No-one said anything about a person being unlovable ..I may not choose a relationship this does not mean I don't nor didn't love.
Everyone needs love.
TRUE !!!
(Both people in the relationship deserves love )
*HUG*
:)
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It seems that you have taken what I said personally, which was not how it was intended. When I said OP, I meant the content of the "original post." Not the "original poster"
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24-06-2011, 12:58 AM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 7,993
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiler
White Shaman ..
Quote: If i was in the position to want or not want I would say that:
I don't want anyone who doesn't want me just the way I am....lol
I also don't want anyone that makes a list of what they want or don't want....lol
With Respect My friend ..we have posts on what people would like ..this is just what they wouldn't..its not Gender Specific ..And since you have a deeply loving relationship that although not perfect . I don't think you have to think about what you don't want!
And Hey I don't walk around with a list in my pocket ..lol
Peace and blessings
:)
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Hi Smiler,
Really I have no issue with your thread, it just that I was sharing my thoughts as I read it. it's all good!
With that being said, I'll share a little more. My wife and I married young so consequently, in spite of how much we knew we were meant for each other, we grew together over the past 32 years where many marriages grow apart.
The reason we were able to do this is not because we have expectations or desires abouts each other, it is because we respect each others differences and even the ones we don't like.
I seriously couldn't make a list even if I was single and there are things about my wife that really annoy me but I wouldn't have it any other way.
No worries mate..............I understand the intent of the thread and it was all in fun.
I was just responding to it.
Blessings, James
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24-06-2011, 01:00 AM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,462
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I think this idea of wanting something from the other is where most relationship fall apart.
__________________
A belief system is nothing but poison to your capacity to understand. Good words are used to hide ugly things. – Osho
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24-06-2011, 01:02 AM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 20,100
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psychoslice
I think this idea of wanting something from the other is where most relationship fall apart.
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Gosh, I feel like the selfishest person on the planet, I think everyone 'wants' something (y'know, expectations and all). I'm only human, snicker!
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24-06-2011, 10:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silvergirl
Gosh, I feel like the selfishest person on the planet, I think everyone 'wants' something (y'know, expectations and all). I'm only human, snicker!
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And let me add the phrase,
"You don't get something for nothing."
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24-06-2011, 10:18 AM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 20,100
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Quote:
Originally Posted by astroboy
And let me add the phrase,
"You don't get something for nothing."
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So many ways to re-interpret that, lol, e.g., turn-around is fair play.
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24-06-2011, 10:46 AM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ozland
Posts: 5,449
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silvergirl
Ahh! Hah! Funny man ~ I like funny men ~ ups, already taken!
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hahaha..hilarious!
Smiler I think you covered the list, I have nothing left to add. Did it take you long to formulate that list? ROFL
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24-06-2011, 12:32 PM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,170
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Night :) Oh it was instant. I think if one experiences the extremes like Frost Bite they don't want to do the same journey XX
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24-06-2011, 12:55 PM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ozland
Posts: 5,449
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yeh, i can relate to that but good luck with finding your perfect man Smiler lol
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