self confidence / esteem

[kris]

http://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/...tation-n276301

[Noon84]

Dwerg: "Who were you before you thought you knew who you were? Look deep inside, focus on it, meditate on it. You hold the key, find the door to unlock." very interesting to ask this kind of question to myself!

Gem: Actually I have decided to take videos of myself talking from my phone and then I look at myself talking and expressing .. I think its a good way to see my self differently, and if there's something I don't like I can always change it specially if you first let yourself express freely at whatever you feel of think about then see yourself from a stranger eye. I'm still working on affirmations but not daily..

Candlelight: the title is very interesting.. I will try to read some reviews about it. thanks

Miss Hepburn: "Confidence is happiness...confidence comes from knowing exactly who you are...and Who's your Daddy." thats what I am really trying to do.. thanks

Hypnoticalec : I am trying to change myself for better.. learning from my mistakes..

KevinO : I always say I forgive people and myself but deep inside I still feel that I am trying to which means forgiveness didn't happen 100%


anthony : actually its not my parents nor my family. I think its more about those close friends I've had once..

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Noon84

Gem: Actually I have decided to take videos of myself talking from my phone and then I look at myself talking and expressing .. I think its a good way to see my self differently, and if there's something I don't like I can always change it specially if you first let yourself express freely at whatever you feel of think about then see yourself from a stranger eye.

That sounds interesting

I'm still working on affirmations but not daily..

Ok. I think it's good to just listen so as to find out what the internal dialogue is saying, and sometimes affirmations, too, if you like.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Noon84

Hypnoticalec : I am trying to change myself for better.. learning from my mistakes..

Change yourself, or change your behaviour/self-image? Because my understanding of it is that your true self is unchanging and eternal.

[Aquarisun]

Heh I needed this, thanks for this thread :)

I let people influence my feelings about myself too much.

[Nameless]

To find the joy within you, sometimes you have to free your soul from the past.

To look within, the best tool I have found is in a book called, Soul Love, by Sanaya Roman. In the first chapter is a meditation, but first you must pick which "self" you want to speak to. There is a small list you can choose from, or you can make up your own. I started with fearful self (or maybe it was worry self?) Anyway, you meet with this self and allow it to speak to you, and then you grow it up. I found that each time that I did this, most of the selves were when I was a young child - between four and seven. I am sure it is different for everyone. What I did was to read a few sentences, then put the book down and visualize those sentences, then pick the book up again, and read the next little bit, and so on, all the way to the end of the meditation. It is so powerful, and it helped me to realize so many things about myself that I had forgotten, or maybe never acknowledged. After I did this with two or three of these selves (and I would do one and then wait a few months inbetween for some reason, so it wasn't instant) I felt whole for the first time in my life, like I had gathered pieces of myself that I had inadvertently given away to others. I gathered all of my energy back to myself.

I was no longer afraid, I no longer looked for others for approval, I started to become the person I always was and never knew.

Along that path, I read many other books that helped, that the Universe would put in my path. I began to see that the Universe is putting things in our path every day, and it is up to us to pay attention to what is in front of us, for everything that we want is right here, right now, and we can choose it or not.

We are all unique pieces of God, and together we make up the whole of God. No one is any better or worse than anyone else, we all came here for one purpose. To find our joy in this physical realm. And that can be as easy or as hard as we decide to make it :)

I read that one way is to focus all you attention on the other person.

From my own experience:

I used to be socio-phobic. I would blush and sweat and feel a strong urge to run away in social situations. Humiliating for a for a man of twenty something (quite a while back).

I had made the mistake of spending too much time alone because I feel good when I'm solitary.

Anyway, I made the decision one day to hang around people long enough for the nerves to pass.....
Talking to work colleagues for the first 10 minutes was terrifying. I could feel my heartbeat in my head and hands. Several times started to move towards my room and quickly needed to strengthen my resolve....and it worked!!!!

Later that day I approached the group again thinking that I had been cured only to be slapped in the face with the reality fish. Right then I realised that it would be a long time before I was truly comfortable.

It took 6 years.

In my opinion and experience, all the tips in the world won't help you. They may give a quick fix to encourage calmness, but the only way you will ever be confident is to put yourself in situations where you will be forced to interact....and to do so on a regular basis for a long time and eventually it will happen.

You won't be thinking about your confidence or how to relax yourself or how to be more bold and brave. You will be engrossed in the conversation and probably having fun....and you will realise that a large portion of your intelligence is designed for the sole purpose of communication.

As for a quick tip though. I'd say to simply stop thinking of your lack of confidence or about how to be or appear more confident. In social situations, stop thinking about confidence entirely.

Number one is quit holding on to the past.We as human beings sometimes find it easier to hang on to the past instead of moving forward.The reason for this is usually rooted in fear . As selfish as it sounds you have to tell your self that you are the most important thing in your life and you deserve nothing but the best.You can not experience the joys of life by repeating past negative events in your life. Forgive yourself and know that the best is yet to come...

[earth&moonchild]

Dear Noon84,

Try meditating your Solar Plexus Chakra! This where your self-esteem lies. Your mental awareness, ego, optimism, will-power and confidence originate from your solar plexus chakra.
Gather your yellow stones (Citrine, Yellow Adventurine, Yellow Jade, Yellow Jasper, etc), a yellow candle, and a core oil blend (Lux, Goddess, or Transformation). Smudge with sage, light your candle, anoint yourself with a powerful scent; then, when your mind is focused and clear, repeat the following mantra:
"I live with integrity and a high respect for myself and others.
I am in alignment with the abundant flow of the universe.
I stand courageous and full of personal power.
I am empowered and I empower others."

Also, yoga is a good way to strengthen your Solar Plexus Chakra. Look up the bow pose.