I Love Him Still

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Well, gee, what real harm could happen if you wrote him that ...it sure would be good for YOU!

I see we had the same idea.

[kundalinikid]

I personally think you need to do some internal work if after 25 odd years you are sorting out your feelings for him. Some of these posts (not just yours) baffle me in that regard. Do I love him/her? Is he/she my twin flame? I don't know, do you? Who can answer that other than you? You are walking yourself into getting some BAD advice, let me tell you. For instance, these people that are likely sick of you asking for advice on the same subject are going to tell you whatever the heck, just so they can stop hearing it.

Also, you are dating someone else but hung up on someone else...yikes. Consider not wasting this other person's time or your own.

That being said, I don't see any issue with sending a brief message to him. Why sit there and wonder? I'll tell you why....fear. You are just going to have to accept the fact that his response may hurt you and be done with it.

[CardinalComet]

It is amazing how I can write out my thoughts and feelings clearly, yet I am still very, very misunderstood.

I am doing internal work, and I am not delusional. I haven't been asking for advice. I honestly thought I had dealt with this and it was over years ago. I expressed that I was venting. I haven't really talked to anyone about this for years. Sick of me? I was shut down immediately, and I shut down. I have been in several relationships, yet he stays with me. If not now, when do I deal with this? People can be so heartless.

To love someone is ok, and I am ok. I had a connection with someone. I loved him, and I still care for him. Instead of sharing this with him when it could have made a difference, I listened to people who thought they knew better than me how I should live my life or how I should feel. I have learned that it is better to be authentically self expressed.

My regret is in not being self expressed then, and I am figuring out for myself how I can be the best version of my fully authentic self now. I know that we may have made it and we very well may not have. I will never know. I can't change the past. The issue I have is with me, and I have stated this fact. I also stated that I am trying to work through this and move forward. I am on a healing/self-love journey.

I am level headed and balanced. I never asked anyone how I feel, because I feel it, and for me it is alarming. Very alarming. I have also expressed that this is confusing for me. I simply do not understand this. Yet, I can no longer live a repressed life. That is asinine to me now that I know better. I feel what I feel, so I am thinking that I should just deal with it.

Yes, I have been in a relationship for 3 years, which is why this coming up for me again is very, very alarming. This is not the first time this has happened to me over the years. However, this is the first time I am fully dealing with myself, my thoughts and feelings instead of trying to repress them. For about 2 months this time. Initially, I was seriously thinking ***, but I am dealing with myself and that eases the shock and pain somewhat for me. In this way, I am honoring myself, which is long overdue.

If I choose to contact him, I am not even expecting a response from him. I have absolutely no expectations, and I would not do anything to compromise myself or him. I sincerely wish him well. He cannot hurt me anymore than I have already been hurt. Trust me. Good grief. As I stated, I am not interested in judgment and dismissal/invalidation of me. I welcome feedback, but this response to my post was unnecessary in my opinion. You made it sound as if I am whiny and needy, which is not me. You don't have to agree with me, but I am not asking for your validation.

Sending you love and light!

CardinalComet

Originally Posted by kundalinikid

I personally think you need to do some internal work if after 25 odd years you are sorting out your feelings for him.

[CardinalComet]

Thank you for commenting. We all deal with things as we deem appropriate. I wish you well on this journey, and trust that all will work out in the end.

Originally Posted by lostsoul13

I find my obsession with my flame is healthy- we have the world at our twin flame experience-we are at the account of a twin with a flame or a flame with a twin-sometimes we are away from each other years at a time:...

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by CardinalComet

It is amazing how I can write out my thoughts
and feelings clearly, yet I am still very, very misunderstood.
*I haven't been asking for advice.
*I expressed that I was venting.

Members: I am repeating this from our new person that has joined us.

Some respect please?

[ayar415]

Originally Posted by Madamedude

I see we had the same idea.

And I think it is a bad idea.

Quoting CardinalComet.........post #10

"I am fully committed to dealing with myself, healing, and moving forward. I just want to make my own decisions now."

Great. That's what we should all do.

To vent and not be judged. How am I short changing myself?

In view of the first sentence, I can't answer your question in the second.

"I am not reliving memories. I am living the life I am and he is living his......
..........I am ok with myself and my feelings. I can deal with them. Well, at least I am acknowledging them."

Good. I don't think I said you were reliving anything. I thought I wrote it as a conditional. I'll check. EDIT: I see how you've interpreted me. Apologies. I meant if you were or hoped to.

Looks like I wasted my time commenting. Unfortunately it's too late to delete my post.

Wishing you a happy life.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I doubt anyone would be judgemental or dismiss your feelings as these are yours and there's nothing to judge.
But since you've been unhappy about people telling you to move on then it's almost impossible to suggest anything useful.

[Miss Hepburn]

General reminder I'm placing on some random threads and for some new people unaware - welcome here:
*The Administration has asked for almost a year now when quoting others
please quote only 2-3 sentences...example, 'Ref to Post 32' can help things along.
.
.

[CardinalComet]

[quote=Lorelyen]

Lorelyn, I am not obsessed. I am dealing with myself now and processing my feelings and thoughts. To state that I am obsessed is a reach. I am still very confused as to how I am being misunderstood. I don't need people to agree with or validate me. However, making statements that label me as who you think I am and what my experience is from a post or two is mind boggling to me.

[CardinalComet]

Originally Posted by ayar415

And I think it is a bad idea.

Thank you for sharing. It may very well be a bad idea. However, I will move and do what I deem appropriate.
No one has to agree with me or give me permission.