"embracing our demons"

Originally Posted by DulcePoetica

As to my marriage, it is built on a very strong friendship. My husband knows about this other person, and he has never been anything but loving and supportive as I find my way through the conflicting feelings and contemplate what to do. I am not leaving just because there is no romance at home. He is my best friend, the world's best roommate, and more often than not, a great date. If and when the time comes, I will leave with his blessing. But platonic love can be beautiful in different ways. We have a very good life together, my husband and I.

Well... Dulce? I have a small question....
May I marry your husband if you decide to leave him?
He sounds just marvelous.
What a good guy!!

[Xan]

Dulce... I may have mentioned this to you before, but I also have a deep soul mate connection that has no possibility of becoming a relationship in the usual sense.

For me the long-distance heart-passion connection is so fulfilling I don't look for anything else.


Xan

Originally Posted by Xan

For me the long-distance heart-passion connection is so fulfilling I don't look for anything else.

Oh I do try for that, Xan. I suppose I'm still recovering from having seen him at an event recently. He did not say hello or even look in my direction once he knew I was there. It's one thing to know we aren't able to have a friendship, it's something else entirely to be completely dismissed if we do happen to see each other.

That's what the acceptance is about for me. This is exactly the kind of thing that gets a person written off my list permanently. But his imprint is indelible. He's not going anywhere. What is left but more acceptance?
(By the way, I just caught a glimpse of the heart of your rose avatar. Nice touch!)

And Nada- Thanks. It is truly uncommon and I am blessed. Interestingly, as odd as it sounds, this whole thing had caused me to cherish my marriage more.

[Xan]

What is left but more acceptance?

Nothing is left but the two options of pain or letting go and allowing it to be in you as it is.

It's the resistance in your mind that makes it difficult, Dulce... and only that.


Xan

Originally Posted by DulcePoetica

Oh I do try for that, Xan. I suppose I'm still recovering from having seen him at an event recently. He did not say hello or even look in my direction once he knew I was there. It's one thing to know we aren't able to have a friendship, it's something else entirely to be completely dismissed if we do happen to see each other. .

For what it's worth, I may be able to explain. Although I can not read your SC's mind, I can somewhat relate to what he may be thinking/doing.

I have ignored my SC whenever I saw him too. Yes, I have. Guilty.

Here are the reasons why:
1. Unlike other soul connections, dates, friends, even ex boy friends, this particular person has stayed in my mind and I can not seem to get rid of him from my memory bank.- even after many years. It really really is scary and confusing at the same time.

2. When I do not see him, I can simply dismiss "thinking about him or he in my mind or my inability to get rid of him from my mind" as some kind of my own emotional/mental disorder or syndrome or imagination that I "may" have some kind of "control" over.

3. Whenever I actually see him or get some kind of validation from him or from the universe that this craziness apparently is a two way street, it just drives me into a big hole called "Denial".
And I become so scare of having to face its existence.

4. Due to the bizzarreness of this entire *** situation, I like to pretend that I do not see him. As long as I pretend that he is NOT there and that this is just in my mind, I feel better about this craziness.

5. So, whenever I see him, I say to myself "He is not here. He is not here. This is my imagination. This is not real. This kind of craziness does not exist, blah, blah, blah".
And I feel so much better.

6. Because this whole relationship is so scary, my body and mind actually go into the "Survival mode". They take over me. And they just automatically take me to the "Ignore/Denial mode". I can not override it even I want to.
I really tried.

I am very certain that your SC is very scared and can not understand what is going on.
He probably goes into the "Survival mode" automatically and can not control it as well.
At the same time, he probably is trying to control to situation by ignoring and dismissing the whole thing.

So~~ Here is my suggestion when you see him next time.
Instead of just staring at him or standing there, and hoping for him to say something to you or acknowldege you, GO UP TO HIM AND MAKE HIM TURN TO YOU.
TELL him that "You have been in my mind and now you are here."

If my SC says this to me, I have no-choice but to acknowldege it and to let go of my denial. I probably will not be able to stick to my usual "I am going to ignore this situation."

I am sure that your SC will not be able to pretend that he does not see you when you confront him as well.