Your twin not telling you how they feel?

[Quest]

Sesheta, this is what the connection is all about, isn't it, to be able to open up despite fear since you know that it won't push the other away. That's what unconditional love is all about. That's what I treasured most, and miss the most, to have an open heart and to expose my vulnerabilities without having to fear that he will love me any less. That is the intimacy that I want back in my life.

In the end it all comes down to us having to love ourselves more, doesn't it. That seems to be the answer for everything, respecting ourselves, finding peace inside ourselves, knowing we are enough and complete, not attaching our love to an object/a person but loving all that there is which includes ourselves as well as our TF.

You know what I like best about this forum? From the day to day circumstances of my situation, all I have to do is log onto here, check the threads (because nearly all them pertain what is happening to me every day, or what I am thinking about or feeling) and then read all the replies which either are my opinions (someone will always beat me to it) or answer my question. You guys really bring out the lazy lurker in me. Love and light to all...

[John Elessar]

This post is probably going sound a bit rambling or not make much sense to many of you out there, but I'll try anyway...

I've wanted (ever since I studied my Jung) to find someone who mirrored my inner feminine-I always assumed that I would fall madly in love with her instantaneously and we'd live happily ever after. Unfortunately my Anima has always had a split in her; the "Airy" Anima, with her flighty, playful, unserious aura, but also expressing all the awe and wonder that we regularly share together. Very easily projected onto the appropriate female. But the more unconscious one, the Earthy Anima, has always lurked deep down, containing all of my buried repressed feelings towards the feminine: the frustrations, the absences, the selfishness-The Darkness, in short (my Anima's Shadow, as Jung would undoubtedly conclude).

I had thought, right before meeting Ms. SC, that I had healed her (Anima, not SC) of all that stuff and had reunited them as best I could on my own (since I know beyond a shadow of a doubt-heh-that I had healed my own (masculine/ego) splits and wounds). But in retrospect from this current juncture, should I honestly be surprised to have found someone who carries that precise type of split and wound in her own psyche?

I think that is why I find myself unable to let her go (aside from seeing her each week no matter if I want to or not) and am constantly feeling myself drawn towards her despite my most stringent conscious protestations-not only does she mirror a ton of the Airy side, I also feel like if I can help the SC heal, it will also heal my own inner feminine split and then we'll live happily ever after, even tho from a purely external practical perspective that is probably pretty impractical if not visionary. I also admit that, YES, I probably don't want it to be too easy and want us both to experience some sort of incredibly intense catharsis and release at some point, delivering us both from all the splits and wounds.

Now, is that nuts or is that nuts? Now I can see why someone would say that being both a romantic and an idealist can be so dangerous.

[gypsymystique]

Originally Posted by John DiFool

This post is probably going sound a bit rambling or not make much sense to many of you out there, but I'll try anyway...

I've wanted (ever since I studied my Jung) to find someone who mirrored my inner feminine-I always assumed that I would fall madly in love with her instantaneously and we'd live happily ever after. Unfortunately my Anima has always had a split in her; the "Airy" Anima, with her flighty, playful, unserious aura, but also expressing all the awe and wonder that we regularly share together. Very easily projected onto the appropriate female. But the more unconscious one, the Earthy Anima, has always lurked deep down, containing all of my buried repressed feelings towards the feminine: the frustrations, the absences, the selfishness-The Darkness, in short (my Anima's Shadow, as Jung would undoubtedly conclude).

I had thought, right before meeting Ms. SC, that I had healed her (Anima, not SC) of all that stuff and had reunited them as best I could on my own (since I know beyond a shadow of a doubt-heh-that I had healed my own (masculine/ego) splits and wounds). But in retrospect from this current juncture, should I honestly be surprised to have found someone who carries that precise type of split and wound in her own psyche?

I think that is why I find myself unable to let her go (aside from seeing her each week no matter if I want to or not) and am constantly feeling myself drawn towards her despite my most stringent conscious protestations-not only does she mirror a ton of the Airy side, I also feel like if I can help the SC heal, it will also heal my own inner feminine split and then we'll live happily ever after, even tho from a purely external practical perspective that is probably pretty impractical if not visionary. I also admit that, YES, I probably don't want it to be too easy and want us both to experience some sort of incredibly intense catharsis and release at some point, delivering us both from all the splits and wounds.

Now, is that nuts or is that nuts? Now I can see why someone would say that being both a romantic and an idealist can be so dangerous.

John, I have a friend who has actually hypnotized people to speak with their Anima and see what is going on. You might want to see if you can find a hypnotist or counselor who might be willing to try it.

[John Elessar]

I'm not susceptible to that it seems-I tried a hypnocounselor 15 years ago and just ended up paying her for several expensive naps.

John....this girl is playing you. I have many girlfriends who treated guys like this....but its ok if you dont believe it....just that she will never give you confirmation of anything. She just likes the attention. Just my opinion.

[John Elessar]

Yeah I know...going to give her one last chance to come clean, and if she doesn't then that's that.

[VanillaRayne]

Same here John. But I'm still feeling pretty down about it tonight for some reason. This was our usual night to spend together.

Sesheta, this is what the connection is all about, isn't it, to be able to open up despite fear since you know that it won't push the other away. That's what unconditional love is all about. That's what I treasured most, and miss the most, to have an open heart and to expose my vulnerabilities without having to fear that he will love me any less. That is the intimacy that I want back in my life.

In the end it all comes down to us having to love ourselves more, doesn't it. That seems to be the answer for everything, respecting ourselves, finding peace inside ourselves, knowing we are enough and complete, not attaching our love to an object/a person but loving all that there is which includes ourselves as well as our TF.

You are very right on that :) That is a big part of my problem - I'm always afraid that if I open up too much it will push him away.....but it pushes him away more when I don't open up!!
The squares I have hanging on my wall (believe/trust/faith) failed me this week - but things are going back to normal now - I'm back on the wagon

I know how you feel, dear, or I imagine a little how this can be.

Mine can´t communicate his feelings very openly because we both need to keep mouth and hearts shut and be nice friends, I´m married to a friend of his, although my husband knows we share something like a strange spiritual connection. Anyway, when he could have spoken he never said the things i´d like to hear, he tries to find the proof that we´re twin flames in our astrological charts, he reads, and he is very logical. What happens is that somethins there´s so many scary coincidences between us that he himself get shocked and let some words scape... but it´s never the way I want... but noone should put too many expectations into another person. I´ve pressed him so badly lately about this subject, that he does not open himself the way I need... but I think this is the way he nees now, so... patience. Light and patience...