Letting go/ Moving on

Originally Posted by awakeningheart

Yes, I 'moved on' from my TF 20 years ago..it took both of us a long time to let go and I'm not sure either of us did. But it was a necessary and important part of our journey together. The time was not right, it still isn't, but back then I didn't understand it. But I knew in my heart then that letting go was the best thing that both of us could do and there could be no other way.

It's all part of the learning path, that you have to do separately, in order to be spiritually aware enough to come together again.

Thanks awakening heart, I often wondered why i walked away at the time and as the years went on wondered whether it had been the right thing to do. I now understand we had to go our separate ways.

[frenchbread]

Originally Posted by orgiva67

Its the lack of communication that i find frustrating. He has never acknowledged our connection.

Mine doesnt want to acknowledge some things either and that makes it hard to have closure from the way it had ended.


Orgiva67, I am glad that Ptsen-Nuh Energy Mapping had helped you move on, grow or heal from your situation with your TF. I never heard of that, what is it? All those years without much communication must have been difficult.

I was also very depressed after he and I had seperated but I knew it needed to happen. If it was meant to be we would find our way back to one another.

I guess why I am ready to move forward without him is because I AM happy knowing he is this soulmate/ twin soul. Its a beautiful feeling. Glad i experienced it even if it did hurt me. It doesnt have to have a happy ending though it would be nice. I just wished he wouldn't push so hard.

[frenchbread]

Originally Posted by mystical

feel free to pm me french bread if you need someone to talk to or want to try to understand xx

Thank you mystical I really appreciate that.

[silke]

Originally Posted by orgiva67

Its the lack of communication that i find frustrating. He has never acknowledged our connection. I met him twenty four years ago when i was nineteen and it was the most amazing experience of my life. I have never felt that way about anyone before or since. We truly loved each other. It was a short relationship, bittersweet and it ended very abruptly, i never really understood why until recently. We went our separate ways, but i always thought of him, i just couldn't forget him and a few times after that initial meeting we met again but one of us always ran from the other. The last time nineteen years ago it was me. Last January (around his birthday) i had this dream where we were walking along hand in hand and our hands felt as if they had sores on them. To me that represented our issues and in the dream we went our separate ways and i woke up feeling this incredible sense of loss like i just lost a part of me. That feeling just wouldn't go away. I hadn't seen or heard from him in nineteen years so i decided to find him. I found him quite easily on the web and sent him a message. When he didn't reply initially, i managed to acquire his e-mail address from a friend. It was almost as if i was stalking him, but it was if i had to find him and reconnect with him. It felt crazy, i felt crazy, but it was almost like i had to contact him. To cut a long story short, he eventually got in touch and the communication was stilted between us. He was very guarded wouldn't tell me anything about himself or his life. Almost as if he didn't want to hear from me. I found out from an acquintence that he has a son. I had a dream around that time of us being in a card game together and neither of us putting our cards on the table. It was around then i found out about twin flames and it was like a light bulb going on. He contacted me in May out of the blue asking me about my life and i sent a response which he ignored. I felt i was being very guarded too and knew i had to communicate in a more open way. At the beginning of July i sent him another e-mail just acknowledging our time together years ago and what he meant to me and that i had never understood why our relationship had ended. I do now, because we just weren't ready. We were both so insecure. He never replyed to the e-mail and in subsequent dreams that i have had i know he is running. I was in a terrible state afterwards, all over the place and the whole episode left me depressed, anxious and unable to function. Miracleously, i came across Steve Gunn and had a reading with him and did his Ptsen-Nuh Energy Mapping which was a revelation for me. It really helped me back on track along with changing my diet and homeopathy. These last few weeks i can feel him around me even more and just today when i was having a reiki treatment i could see TF sitting with his head in his hands. It brought the tears to my eyes. Its almost as if one part of me wants to quit (ego) and another knows that i can't give up. Apologies for the waffle....that is my story!xx

What a beautiful story orgiva67 and don't appologise for the waffle!! I was hanging on your every word woman! 24 years!! Phew, that's a long time. Mine has been going for 9 and I thought that was a long time...Relate to everything you're saying and don't they just love to ignore us and then reconnect just when you think they're gone forever. It's easy to think that they're playing with us but they are probably just as confused and frightened as we are. I am not speaking to mine either and just letting him sort out his own **** as I just can't do it for him and I am no longer going to go through the pain of being associated with him until he does, even if it takes till the end of time.

[silke]

Originally Posted by orgiva67

I am exactly in the same place as you at the moment. I am trying to move on and have been attempting to move on for the last few months. My TF and i are not speaking either and I have had no physical contact with him for six months. (Although i will say those last six months have been a period of intense growth and learning for me). He doesn't get it and from the dreams i have i know he is very afraid. It is very frustrating and I don't speak to my friends about it as they all think i am crazy and i get the usual comments of "forget him", "let him go" etc etc. How can you let go of someone when they are a part of you?

There is no way anyone who hasn't found their TF can understand it or advise us. They really have no idea why you just CAN'T let go and of course they react to it like it is just any other romantic relationship. But it's not. As 24 years have told you, so forget talking to them and talk to us!

[quote=frenchbread]Mine doesnt want to acknowledge some things either and that makes it hard to have closure from the way it had ended.

It is hard when they don't want to acknowledge things. At first it made me feel confused and as if i had imagined it all and it wasn't real!

Orgiva67, I am glad that Ptsen-Nuh Energy Mapping had helped you move on, grow or heal from your situation with your TF. I never heard of that, what is it? All those years without much communication must have been difficult.


Ptsen-Nuh is a system of healing developed by Steve Gunn. If you look him up on the net you will find his website and info on Ptsen-Nuh.

Not having any communication was hard, but i had always wondered why i couldn't forget him. And i could remember everything about our connection all those years ago in great detail as if it just happened yesterday. I didn't realise he was my TF until Easter this year although i been having recurring dreams about him since 2008. You probably will agree that in conventional relationships that when things dont work out we feel devastated at the time but we move on, and in most cases we have closure. With our TFs there was no closure, and they were as confused and devastated as us. I believe that it isn't over and the way it seemed to end although confusing and heart breaking meant that we had to go our seperate ways to grow as individuals. It had to happen. I know for a fact if we stayed together we would have consumed each other!!

Originally Posted by silke

What a beautiful story orgiva67 and don't appologise for the waffle!! I was hanging on your every word woman! 24 years!! Phew, that's a long time. Mine has been going for 9 and I thought that was a long time...Relate to everything you're saying and don't they just love to ignore us and then reconnect just when you think they're gone forever. It's easy to think that they're playing with us but they are probably just as confused and frightened as we are. I am not speaking to mine either and just letting him sort out his own **** as I just can't do it for him and I am no longer going to go through the pain of being associated with him until he does, even if it takes till the end of time.

Thanks for your comments, Silke, it has helped me to share it. I think its our egos that imagine they are playing with us. Yep, i am leaving mine to sort his stuff out and anytime i am tempted to contact him i remind myself that i also have my own **** to sort out!!

As always, many of us are on the same path at the same time. and wow, 24 years that takes a lot of patience.

I'm still 100% beleiving in my connection with the flame, but in some ways this board helped me move forward. At first, the board helped me realize that I was not insane. Then at times I felt it made me sadder. But now, I realize that this a long-term story and in some cases the TF pops back in but in others it does not. Since I can't know for sure, Im running with the idea that he is not. Yes, he shows up in dreams (esp when I started seeing someone else). ANd pops up in odd ways at certain times, but he is not popping up in my waking day-to-day reality and this is one I have to live in NOW.

I will keep learning and growing, but not pining, waiting, hoping, despairing that one day he will call, write, show up, etc. Shoot, he lives in the same city and I've seen him far less than when we lived very far away.

Point is, some of us can hold on to that hope and not move forward with anyone else. I see that POV, but for me it just doesn't feel right. Life is definitely meant for living and I don't want to hold mine back for somethign that Likely will never manifest on this plane again.

I am forever grateful and will always love this person with every bit of myself. Luckily the heart is big enough to hold more than one person in it.

I did lose the someone I was seeing due to not being able to let go of the TF, but then it led me to doing just that. Everything happens exactly as it should!

As always, many of us are on the same path at the same time. and wow, 24 years that takes a lot of patience.

I'm still 100% beleiving in my connection with the flame, but in some ways this board helped me move forward. At first, the board helped me realize that I was not insane. Then at times I felt it made me sadder. But now, I realize that this a long-term story and in some cases the TF pops back in but in others it does not. Since I can't know for sure, Im running with the idea that he is not. Yes, he shows up in dreams (esp when I started seeing someone else). ANd pops up in odd ways at certain times, but he is not popping up in my waking day-to-day reality and this is one I have to live in NOW.

I will keep learning and growing, but not pining, waiting, hoping, despairing that one day he will call, write, show up, etc. Shoot, he lives in the same city and I've seen him far less than when we lived very far away.

Point is, some of us can hold on to that hope and not move forward with anyone else. I see that POV, but for me it just doesn't feel right. Life is definitely meant for living and I don't want to hold mine back for somethign that Likely will never manifest on this plane again.

I am forever grateful and will always love this person with every bit of myself. Luckily the heart is big enough to hold more than one person in it.

I did lose the someone I was seeing due to not being able to let go of the TF, but then it led me to doing just that. Everything happens exactly as it should!

[mystical]

mine has a terribke habit of totally ignoring me or he uses such harsh cruel words to push me away , then within a month of no contact or a few , he contacts me , the last time i messaged him , he told me to go away neevr contact him again as he is well shot of me and life is lookingup , a few months later i recieved a text , was the day of the royal wedding in fact , at 5 am in the morning . saying, testing you pretending to text you prob wont hear this anyway , but here i am anyway . confused.com or what lol , when i replied he totally ignored me again ****. but must of been thinkin of me to text me especially at that time of morning , i often wonder if he had a dream of us lol, its been 8 weeks now since the last message and i am not making the first move this time , its down to him :)