Acquaintances are Better than Friends

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Maisy

But then one can get all the "love" or contentment they need from within themselves
and not be dependent on some other person or animal for that.

You got that right! But, from exp - I found out not many have ever felt that -
that there is a fountain of love inside....even me saying that here, many will think is crazy.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Maisy

But then one can get all the "love" or contentment they need from within themselves and not be dependent on some other person or animal for that. Maybe why some monks and nuns or anyone really opt for the single life

I don't know about that, but if it's true, from a human needs perspective, it's probably better to have loving relationships of different kinds, and usually, people who "opt" for a more isolated existence have hangups that impede them from having close relationships. They might aggrandise that into a spiritual superiority, but it's usually just being socially disfunctional.

[Altair]

Not sure how peoppe are all helping one another here, making the points others make and turn them into extreme positions. For instance, having friends or pets doesn’t mean being “dependent”, nor “attached” in some unhealthy way, neither does being alone or preferring to be alone means there’s some grand issue.

Consider me disappointed, guys. This forum can be quite divisive.

[sky]

Originally Posted by Altair

Not sure how peoppe are all helping one another here, making the points others make and turn them into extreme positions. For instance, having friends or pets doesn’t mean being “dependent”, nor “attached” in some unhealthy way, neither does being alone or preferring to be alone means there’s some grand issue

The voice of wisdom
I'm not surprised The Buddha taught 'The middle way'....

[Miss Hepburn]

@Cribbage...I would simply like to say ... not being Buddhist, but I like Buddhism...I really understand what you're saying.
I think it was brave to say it...because you prob knew you would get kick back.

[Unseeking Seeker]

I agree with sky

In spiritual practice or as adopted as a way of life in mindfulness, in my view it is not negation that is required but celebration, in a mode of embrace and release, intimate yet nonchalant like the breeze.

Why fear friendship, intimacy, closeness? Feeling ourself being breathed by God or let us say, the universe, is not each in-breath life giving and enlivening, each out-breath, ego-dissolution in surrender? Likewise, let us hold tenderly all relationships, even the casual smile to a stranger like the vibrant void that holds existence in its womb with affection and yet remains detached.

Just thoughts … great line of inquiry, Cribbage.

[Maisy]

Originally Posted by Unseeking Seeker

Why fear friendship, intimacy, closeness?

I think true love is divine love. Where oneloves all equally and deeply. Romantic love tends to be selfish or self centered. That's why it can so easily turn to hate if one cheats etc. Also, if one is not identified as this body and does not enjoy listening to egos why would they have a desire to couple up? On the "intimacy" my opinion is when body identification ends, so does any interest in that. It's an animal thing in my opinion and totally body related. Brain driven hormones etc.

I don't see it as fear. I see it as enlightenment. Where one sees reality. Romantic relationships I think then to be about what we get, not so much what we give. But then I'd guess most need such things for karmic learning purposes. That's prolly one point of an incarnation. I was in a pancake place the other day and an elderly couple came in, sat down, ordered their meals, ate them, then left without saying one word to each other. They did not look happy.

[sky]

Originally Posted by Maisy

I was in a pancake place the other day and an elderly couple came in, sat down, ordered their meals, ate them, then left without saying one word to each other. They did not look happy.

In silence, we often find the deepest connection.
Mybe they didn't 'look' happy because in their lives something 'sad' was going on....

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by sky

Mybe they didn't 'look' happy because in their lives something 'sad' was going on....

That's exactly right..we have no idea. We can't really assume anything. Good one, sky....imo. :)

[sky]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

That's exactly right..we have no idea. We can't really assume anything. Good one, sky....imo. :)

Yes, we should never judge a book by its cover