Marr-ied and met twin flame - advice needed

[twinkle77]

Thank you all for your responses..

i am truly in a dilemma as to how to go abt this...only i know what i am going through and it does feel like a curse...i am hoping something beautiful comes out of this situation where i can stay truly balanced and i would never do anything to hurt anyone..so i am going to take each day as it comes. will keep u all updated..think i need to do a lot of reflection and meditation right now.

[PeteC-UK]

Hi Folks...

Twinkle; YES - I was once PRECISELY in your situation..Married - met someone who I knew insttantly WAS my twin - life has since proved this to be the case beyond doubt...

At the time - back in the 1980s,I hadnt even heard of "twin flames",hadnt read any of the new age rubbish that is spouted as truth - but - I DID feel directly - this connetion - like way way more than mere "mortal love",for I already had THAT with my wife whom I DID love I believed - but this - was something so extraordinary - a literal buzzing tingle whenever she was near - not just an obsession of the mind - but an actual energetic "different state"...

My authenitc twin,started out as my babysitter - and when this realisation dawned,it soon became apparant that it would destroy lives - and you know what..?...The sensation was so strong,I just DID NOT CARE - it made me WILLINGLY put aside COMPLETELY,my former life,wife and two small children - left them and never looked back...It is literally like my FORMER life,was only there to putme in that SPECIFIC time and place,to meet her,and as soon as that actuallyhappened,then literally,NOTHING ELSE MATTERED - and indeed,to this day stil ,NOTHING else matters - excpet the two children that came formthis union,and are a part of us..I cant emphaise sit enough - its like the former life,was a MISTAKE,that is all aI can say - a delusion..

Now - near thrity years later - and it all becomes clear clear clear....This IS my twin,an actual MISSION and purpose to incarnate THIS SPECIFIC LIFE with these specific circumstances..And I will tell you clearly - for me - it was ALWAYS KNOWN - they say there is love at first sight for instance - but this is something that blows that outta the water...I met her when she was datng my best friend..I immeidatly said to him "she is SUPPOSED to be with me and Im taking her" - and at the core,I was ANGRY with him for getitng her first...

Made no sense back then - totally irrational - Id only just met her after all,had no such claim,especially being aleady married - yet I KNEW - and crucially,SO DID SHE - though she neither,could explain it,we just KNEW come what may,we were SUPPOSED to share THIS life..

Really - all the airy fairy romantic notions - are new age b*s - when you meet your authenitc twin,there will be NONE of this "unsure" I dont know,mere infatuation of a mind,oh hes a "runner" oh hes not awake yet - - it WILL be SOLID,SUBSTANTIAL,CONCRETE FOUNDATION - UNSHAKABLE - like a FORGOTTEN MEMORY !!

I have to say - that described above - sounds far more like normal ,mortal sexua INFATUATION - you fancy ths guy,he fancies you - yet your mind feels guilty because you are married - so supplies these ready made fantasies you have read about,fantasies of twin flame romantic encounters,to compensate for your guilt...

IF it was AUTHENTIC - then Im pretty sure you would do as I did - and simply,guilt,thoughts of FORMER existane,wouldnt matter at all - as you would LITERLLY be transformed into a new mind - a union of you AND the twin,immeidatly and fully...If this doesnt happen,then its not your twin,but mere infatuation "sexual desire"..

Look - see how your own mind plays tricks here..?..

At the club when we talk it's just hi and bye and small chitchat here or there

and also

We both belong to a health club and i know he realised the connection way before i did...maybe when we first saw each other almost a year ago..with me the realization hit me about 3 months ago...

Well - THINK about it !! You say its a "twin flame" thing - yet clearly not - a YEAR..?...and you aint even TALKING..?...What even makes you thnk this is anythng out of the ordinary..?..

Look - Im just going primarily by my own direct exoeriences - i was "in love" married,met someone for the first tiime,that compltly,there and then,IMMEDIATLY,blew me aways COMPLETELY - I felt CHEATED that I had not ALWAYS had her - do you see...?..

A huge HUGE difference - to meetig somoene in passing,giving slight eye contact,surruptitious flirting,tension builds in a NORMAL manner - until now,a YEAR later you WISH to pursue the reltaionship,yet GUILT is preventing it and as a defence,the mind clings to this learned and read about "twin flame" phenomena....

It pretty much BOGUS,as presented by the new age waffle - romanticised and idealised to sell books and make oneself a "guru"..lol....As I say - we both,my twin (now wife) and I COMPLETLY UNDERSTOOD that we would DESTROY LIVES - my two small children especally - and as I say - no guilt or emotion to hinder us - just the overwhelming IMMEDIATE realistion,this was literally MEANT to be....I could even tell you,that futher dierect spritiual exoeriences over the years,have shown me a time BEFORE Life here,and those eexperiences explain to me fully,WHY I actually felt the way I do,and did the thngs I did inTHIS LIFE,without guilt or any regret at all..

The phenomena itself is VERY real - A Soul MISSION to find and aid the One you ARE twinned with - and indeed,this is usually an incarnation of just ONE SOUL,incarnating as TWO seperate lives - which is why the tie and bond is so extreme - LITERALLY ONE BEING,temporarily divided into two forms,two individuals...The re merging process,can be painful - extremely destructive actually - yet also simulataneously - an utter joy and contentment,come what may....

What you describe above - Im sorry - but it seems more like simlpe sexual infatuation,and a guilty mnd playing tricks and deceving itself..Im sure if it WAS authentic,then you would be understanding it already,in a much more meannful way - it would consume you - and after a YEAR - husband and family - or his wife and family - would already be a thing of the past,FORMER existance..The fact that indeed its is a YEAR,and only now you stir to the realisation,tells me this is simply normal mortal sexual relationship - or it would be,excpet your mind is feeling guilty and inventing fantasy to compensate.....

Pls dont take any of ths the wrong way..As I say - Im not judgng YOU,individually - but Iam comparing my own experiences (remember,i didnt have any of this new age waffle to cloud my mind), and Im forming my opinion based on those experiences directly..

Scotch....I was conflicted about doing what's right for me and my daughter. As a mom, I can't watch him be cold and aloof to his daughter. Women are set to a double standard that men aren't. Men can leave marriages and leave their wives and children to fend for themselves.

My family said same thing to me as yours did. He could do no wrong. I rarely talk to them about what's going on with my so called pretend marriage until I had enough and inform everyone I want a divorce. My vow in the marriage was to fearlessly speak the truth and put family first. He said the same and chose to renege on his words.

I didn't vow to be treated like **** or a doormat or second priority etc. If that is what it means for better or worse sign me out cause I'm not a masochist and my soul has the choice to void the contract. No one is deserving of any type of abuses. When one is married one made promise to cherish the other person and vice versa. When after marriage counseling and attempts to resolve the issues doesn't work and the other person remain complacent, it's your right to choose what is best to do for your soul growth. That may mean leaving a soul crushing stagnant marriage.

I intended to leave my marriage before even the twin flame deal came about. Just because one has never experience the phenomena of the twin doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. That is such a "scientistism" belief. If a phenomenon doesn't show itself to one purview of experience it must mean it's not valid despite other folks accounts and personal experiences. Sometimes people use the TF deal to excuse their wanting to leave a marriage. People have multitude of reasons for why they no longer find the marriage nourishing to their soul growth. Who are we to tell them what is right or wrong for the choices they make?

Please excuse any typos I may have. Typed this on a smartphone.

PeteC...wow...that's what a twin feels like when one meet him or her. Maybe mine is not a twin. But I wanted to leave my marriage before I even realize he's something special. Thank you for sharing this because this is how I feel twin phenomenon is like. It just cut to the chase, no holds bar.

What you described reasonate with me. I felt mine was the One and he felt the same, but he's not willing to take the leap like you and yours did. But do you think each twin experiences are going to be the same as yours? Btw, what's the age difference between you and yours. I'm curious.

[Spectral1212]

Originally Posted by PeteC-UK

Hi Folks...

Twinkle; YES - I was once PRECISELY in your situation..Married - met someone who I knew insttantly WAS my twin - life has since proved this to be the case beyond doubt...

At the time - back in the 1980s,I hadnt even heard of "twin flames",hadnt read any of the new age rubbish that is spouted as truth - but - I DID feel directly - this connetion - like way way more than mere "mortal love",for I already had THAT with my wife whom I DID love I believed - but this - was something so extraordinary - a literal buzzing tingle whenever she was near - not just an obsession of the mind - but an actual energetic "different state"...

My authenitc twin,started out as my babysitter - and when this realisation dawned,it soon became apparant that it would destroy lives - and you know what..?...The sensation was so strong,I just DID NOT CARE - it made me WILLINGLY put aside COMPLETELY,my former life,wife and two small children - left them and never looked back...It is literally like my FORMER life,was only there to putme in that SPECIFIC time and place,to meet her,and as soon as that actuallyhappened,then literally,NOTHING ELSE MATTERED - and indeed,to this day stil ,NOTHING else matters - excpet the two children that came formthis union,and are a part of us..I cant emphaise sit enough - its like the former life,was a MISTAKE,that is all aI can say - a delusion..

Now - near thrity years later - and it all becomes clear clear clear....This IS my twin,an actual MISSION and purpose to incarnate THIS SPECIFIC LIFE with these specific circumstances..And I will tell you clearly - for me - it was ALWAYS KNOWN - they say there is love at first sight for instance - but this is something that blows that outta the water...I met her when she was datng my best friend..I immeidatly said to him "she is SUPPOSED to be with me and Im taking her" - and at the core,I was ANGRY with him for getitng her first...

Made no sense back then - totally irrational - Id only just met her after all,had no such claim,especially being aleady married - yet I KNEW - and crucially,SO DID SHE - though she neither,could explain it,we just KNEW come what may,we were SUPPOSED to share THIS life..

Really - all the airy fairy romantic notions - are new age b*s - when you meet your authenitc twin,there will be NONE of this "unsure" I dont know,mere infatuation of a mind,oh hes a "runner" oh hes not awake yet - - it WILL be SOLID,SUBSTANTIAL,CONCRETE FOUNDATION - UNSHAKABLE - like a FORGOTTEN MEMORY !!

I have to say - that described above - sounds far more like normal ,mortal sexua INFATUATION - you fancy ths guy,he fancies you - yet your mind feels guilty because you are married - so supplies these ready made fantasies you have read about,fantasies of twin flame romantic encounters,to compensate for your guilt...

IF it was AUTHENTIC - then Im pretty sure you would do as I did - and simply,guilt,thoughts of FORMER existane,wouldnt matter at all - as you would LITERLLY be transformed into a new mind - a union of you AND the twin,immeidatly and fully...If this doesnt happen,then its not your twin,but mere infatuation "sexual desire"..

Look - see how your own mind plays tricks here..?..



and also



Well - THINK about it !! You say its a "twin flame" thing - yet clearly not - a YEAR..?...and you aint even TALKING..?...What even makes you thnk this is anythng out of the ordinary..?..

Look - Im just going primarily by my own direct exoeriences - i was "in love" married,met someone for the first tiime,that compltly,there and then,IMMEDIATLY,blew me aways COMPLETELY - I felt CHEATED that I had not ALWAYS had her - do you see...?..

A huge HUGE difference - to meetig somoene in passing,giving slight eye contact,surruptitious flirting,tension builds in a NORMAL manner - until now,a YEAR later you WISH to pursue the reltaionship,yet GUILT is preventing it and as a defence,the mind clings to this learned and read about "twin flame" phenomena....

It pretty much BOGUS,as presented by the new age waffle - romanticised and idealised to sell books and make oneself a "guru"..lol....As I say - we both,my twin (now wife) and I COMPLETLY UNDERSTOOD that we would DESTROY LIVES - my two small children especally - and as I say - no guilt or emotion to hinder us - just the overwhelming IMMEDIATE realistion,this was literally MEANT to be....I could even tell you,that futher dierect spritiual exoeriences over the years,have shown me a time BEFORE Life here,and those eexperiences explain to me fully,WHY I actually felt the way I do,and did the thngs I did inTHIS LIFE,without guilt or any regret at all..

The phenomena itself is VERY real - A Soul MISSION to find and aid the One you ARE twinned with - and indeed,this is usually an incarnation of just ONE SOUL,incarnating as TWO seperate lives - which is why the tie and bond is so extreme - LITERALLY ONE BEING,temporarily divided into two forms,two individuals...The re merging process,can be painful - extremely destructive actually - yet also simulataneously - an utter joy and contentment,come what may....

What you describe above - Im sorry - but it seems more like simlpe sexual infatuation,and a guilty mnd playing tricks and deceving itself..Im sure if it WAS authentic,then you would be understanding it already,in a much more meannful way - it would consume you - and after a YEAR - husband and family - or his wife and family - would already be a thing of the past,FORMER existance..The fact that indeed its is a YEAR,and only now you stir to the realisation,tells me this is simply normal mortal sexual relationship - or it would be,excpet your mind is feeling guilty and inventing fantasy to compensate.....

Pls dont take any of ths the wrong way..As I say - Im not judgng YOU,individually - but Iam comparing my own experiences (remember,i didnt have any of this new age waffle to cloud my mind), and Im forming my opinion based on those experiences directly..

Sorry, but once again, I read this entry and simply see someone stating their experience as fact. It is not the same for everyone. No one can say "if x y z didn't happen, this is not a SC or a TF." You have your life experiences but it by no means makes you any kind of authority on all things spirtual. I am not even going to get into my own experience because it would have no bearing on anything. If you really were enlightened about anything, you wouldn't be trying to sound like an expert because of your relationship. Not saying that what happened to you was not meant to be, because I believe that everything that happens is meant to happen, but honestly, your advice sounds exactly like twin flame advice that you would get on the Internet. Only the higher self knows what is really happening and you (nor I) are not part of the equation for the OP. Stating that you knew people would get hurt and you did not care is not something that is inherent to twin flame situations, many a relationship has been ruined by people wanting to pursue their own interests.

[Spectral1212]

Originally Posted by twinkle77

Hi all

i was wondering if there were people out there in my situation? I know there is a force that brings you and your twin flame together and you will meet them if you're supposed to no matter what.

We both belong to a health club and i know he realised the connection way before i did...maybe when we first saw each other almost a year ago..with me the realization hit me about 3 months ago...then all the signs started...at the moment i keep seeing signs such as 11 on number plates, 11:11 on clocks, sometimes i'll see 11:11 on the clock and i'll look and see him and i hear/see his name everywhere. I can't stop thinking about him. At the club when we talk it's just hi and bye and small chitchat here or there.

Last week i could feel the tension building between us and i really felt like he wanted to talk to me but he couldn't..we kept looking at each other as we passed by each other and kind of kept ignoring each other...it truly is like a magnet...you can't stop looking/searching for them when they are not around.

Anyway, i went up to him to ask him if he wanted to talk about something as he kept hovering around me really really nervously..he said he did but he wasn't ready to/couldn't at that moment..

Then next day he started talking like there was no tension and he was ok again...so basically i feel like i broke the ice between us..and we will be more comfortable now..

i know what will happen next, he will want to be friends etc and i am worried to go to that next level..because yes i know he has strong feelings for me, and i am developing them too...i have been told to be open and stay balanced and let everything flow freely but it's not really that easy right?

They say you meet your twin when you are ready and are meant to meet them and you meet them because you are deserving finally of all that love, joy and bliss...

but what happens when you are married? You are not supposed to be with them if you are married?

Thanks for listening - i am sure there are loads of you in my situation and can help to guide me in the right direction..

Please just know that in time you will figure out the meaning/reason. The best thing you can do is try not to label it. There is no formula for how these things are supposed to work, if it transforms your life in some huge way, whether you wind up with this person or not, whether you stay married or not, and it turns out to be a gigantic life-altering experience, then it's the real deal. It's something that will affect you for the rest of your life. A true soul connection is not about romance, that is only a small part of it.

Scotch...I'm so glad you appreciate what I wrote. It was really difficult for me because as you said there are a lot of critical people. I don't care anymore. Your choices are between you and the Divine (if you believe in a Divine or Divines). You need to make choices that ring true to your spirit. I used to be a stickler for keeping it cut and dry.

My whole experience has changed my perspective on things. The Universe tend to do that to me. Like last night, my mother in law came to lecture me and my "husband" about selfish we are. She was there to lecture me most of all because I'm not willing to near and grin like she did. She was previously divorced and expect me to stay in a marriage that is not a marriage.

I understand that my so called " husband" and I have a child together, but dude barely spend time with her. Like today is Labor Day and he's no where to be found. Not home to spend time with his daughter. His mom made the excuse he works hard on his feet all day so that should count for something. I asked her if a man working a job is what it mea,s to be a father. Her husband was absent in my husband's life. No way in he'll I'm okay with that. My needs are as valid as his and my daughter's need to be accounted for also. Anyway, conversation with her and him last night strengthen my resolve to leave and after my conversation with her I don't give a flying fig what she and other think. Sometimes you have to be your own advocate when no one else will.

I was also a career woman. I made a choice to leave my career so we can be a family. Now he's begrudging me for staying home with my daughter. It's hard work to raise a child. I didn't think I was going to raise my daughter alone in a marriage. I didnt want to be a single mom but ironically I ended up one anyhow while legally married.

Marriage shouldn't be what's written on a legal document t but two souls committed to want to be in the relationship. There are still archaic ideas about what marriage stands for. Too many hypocrites preaching what marriage is. It's nauseating.

I hope you find your peace and happiness. You deserve the best love for yourself.

Spectral1212...what you say hold true also. I think different twin experience things differently based on their higherselves soul contract. I just feel like I'm in a whirl wind and nothing is what it seems to be. It's good to read everyone's thoughts. And when one boils everything down, the higher self is the ultimate authority in doing what's right for one situation.

[twinkle77]

Hi Pete - you are so right that you don't know my situation..i'm sorry i'm not having a go..it's just that its so hard to explain and make people understand what i am going through..i'm leaving everything in the divine hands now - i guess this is MY journey and maybe i have to deal with this alone...

and honestly it's not physical/sexual attraction , how can it be if i have never been attracted to him in that way, i am being honest here..he is not even my type...all i know is the past 3 months i started to feel a connection that i know he has been feeling for a while..so maybe he recognised the connection first..and it just took me a while longer to realize...whatever happens i hope we both follow our true paths.

[twinkle77]

[quote=Spectral1212]Please just know that in time you will figure out the meaning/reason. The best thing you can do is try not to label it. There is no formula for how these things are supposed to work, if it transforms your life in some huge way, whether you wind up with this person or not, whether you stay married or not, and it turns out to be a gigantic life-altering experience, then it's the real deal. It's something that will affect you for the rest of your life. A true soul connection is not about romance, that is only a small part of it.

Thank you spectral - i hope so things become clearer in time which direction/path to take..i feel things will be a lot clearer very soon, staying strong and keeping myself balanced...the feelings are tough to deal with.will keep you updated x