Quote:
Originally Posted by bobjob
what's happening when pain is an outcome of an attempt to provide healing.
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I don't know what spirit healing is but the purification is of the body/mind. It primarily entails pure awareness pervading the depths so that the subtler aspects of the life form become clear to conscious awareness and the contents come through and pass away. However, the tendency to react adversely to discomfort and crave pleasant distractions keeps the mind agitated, which inhibits the free passing. This needs to be resolved so that one can maintain peaceful, still-minded nutrality regardless of painful or pleasurable experiences. The more stable one is in that way, the more acute perception becomes to subtler aspects of the lifeform and the more will come to light in conscious awareness and pass away.
We begin at a crass level of conscious awareness where the mind is distracted, 'talkative', agitated and emotional; and the body is solid and dense. We determine stop doing that and become still. Thus, our habit of running from pain and chasing pleasure comes to standstill, which initiates the purification process.
In the past, when the blocked issues such as traumas and emotional knots peak into our conscious awareness we become disturbed because we react adversely to it, and in that reaction we crave something of a comparatively pleasant distraction. Thus we avoid being aware and the old contents cannot come to light in conscious awareness and pass away.
These tendencies manifest as sensations in the body. Pain is generated so we have something to react to, keeping us agitated and distracted so we don't have to endure the underlying storm, so we need to be determined. When pain arises, do not react to it. Practice keeping a neutrally aware poise no matter what, and stability of mind gets stronger. After a while one can endure such sensations without becoming disturbed or distracted.
As one achieves that level of balance, they have gone past that limitation, so the purification accelerates, and you are pushed to a new level of limitation, but just as before you persist, break through, and can endure even more without losing the plot. Soon enough you'll be able to maintain a very stable balance even during significantly intense experiences and remain unmoved by the emotional storms you couldn't bear in the past. Now that they can come into full conscious awareness without freaking you out, they blow up a great storm without affecting your quiet presence and pass away in their own time.
Since the process is not only pshyhological, but also physical, you can feel the dense, solid sensation of 'blocks' come loose and move or change at a subtler level, and the lump dissolves into a myriad of light flowing/tingly/wavey feelings... like it opens up moves through and bursts free. Then what used to be a dull, solid, dense feeling body feels lighter and more alive and flowing.
One would think that's great, but you soon find out that this is taking you to another limitation, and what seemed very pleasant at first starts to escalate, become relentless and it won''t let up. The reactive cycle comes in again and you cannot bear any more... but this time you can't get out of it with inane distractions. You
have to endure it with neutrality or you'll lose your damn mind. It's scary and on the edge, but it's all you can do to maintain your balance of mind. Nothing else is important.
It levels out after some time, and this level of balance is pretty good. The purification of the old emotions/physical blockages changes to something like an energy flow, which isn't altogether pleasant, but pleasant and unpleasant don't matter because you're unaffected by them.
Because you stopped being affected you don't react, and because you don't react there is no energy to perpetuate the ego from past into the future, and it is revealed in full as one that pretends to be me. You won't believe how nasty it is, and to think, I lived like that - as that. You can see all the ways it keeps you reactive and distracted so it can get by you unawares... well, now it's been recognised, it can no longer assume the position of 'me'.
Then there is something very subtle when you notice how refined and delicate the mindful balance point is, and how little it takes to disturb that balance point. It's ironic that it takes so much strength of stability to notice how extraordinarily delicate the balance is.
Anyway... long rant... but that's how I describe it.