something i found on runners

Originally Posted by Internal Queries

oh it's okay, Docha. i'm not very good walking on rice paper and i guess i should avoid these "TF" threads since there's bound to be someOne whose feelings are too delicate to have me stomping around.

That is exactly what I like about you. If we were face to face, I am just as blunt/no nonsense. My girls are horrified sometimes! Lol

My writing reflects my diplomatic side. I'm forced to slow down and think!

I don't believe you should fear hurting others, it pla es them in a victim role. Many gain from your straightforward approach and it would be a shame to lose it.

Everyone is responsible for their own reactions. Emotions are what you feel, reactions are what you choose to do about how you feel. :)

So many posts to comment on. Basically, I think we need to LOSE THE LABELS!! Why do we have to be runners or stayers. Let's just say we are people having majorly spiritual/cosmic/intense experiences with other people who are some sort of soul connection.

And yes, to whoever said IQ and I are mirrors of our connections. IQ does sound like him actually. And, Yes I agree wallowing and being a victim, etc is not healthy for anyone. I am actually working hard on moving on. I've even been seeing someone and NOT comparing them to the other. I know that was a beyond unique experience, but I can't sit and wait for years hoping he'll get in touch. LIFE IS MEANT FOR LIVING! I love this board and our different POV, i think this whole convo. is important. This board and the POV of people like IQ really has helped me see it from their POV and move forward. It helped me get past the shock of WHY would they leave such a magical connection. It seemed like something I would not get past and yet I am. I mean I will never lose the connection, but moving forward in the day to day is key to sanity.

Thanks to all!! i do think we are an amazing support system.

PS even if I seemed "delicate" in a post, it's quite the contrary. I'm a very direct and to the point person, which is why this connection turned me on my head. I wasn't used to being in that position. AND yes, it takes time to process it all.

I guess again what bothers me about this forum is Telling people what to do, the, "loose the labels," what difference does it make? Isn't that how most of us found the connection & the definition? by looking up & attaching a label?
I don't focus on the label, it's the connection & myself I have no problem with whatever one wants to call it. In fact the title of the forum IS tf/sm forum. So to not label something doesn't make sense to me, ie, bread is bread, meat is meat, it's a name. It's the depth & action placed up that makes a difference/ movement of..
Where I can see that I do not fit into this forum is I feel there are many posts that can be construed as put downs to members that merely share an opinion & it does in my view become then a bully pulpit where there are heros & villans in the forum itself.
I personally believe in Heaven & Hell & the forces ARE of Good & Evil which was the fall of man, KNOWLEDGE, rather than love, BUT there is a thing called responsibility in life & consequences.
I think IQ is similar in ways to tf (if he's that) also but I guess what I do not understand is to me there feels little to no warmth coming from the posts by IQ, the put downs, of which I don't find that she is the only one doing it.
My nature is to take more of an underdog position (in life) but I have NEVER been a kiss up, EVER. I will continue to speak my mind until my dying day & when I see people shamed for trying to share a story or TOLD that they don't have it right, I will speak up. Again, probably you will almost never see me here because I really do not think this is healthy exchange & there seems to be an idolization of certain forum members & degrading of others. I find it ODD & it's like the ego perpetuates in this room. THE BATTLE is of good & evil & there is a Heaven & Hell & that is what I believe, it's coming soon.
I don't have all the answers but the jist of this seems to, almost EVERY time someone posts links as to tf's & articles, there is a following of comments on Runners & Stayers & then put downs of the postings (the articles by people that have studied/researched this for yrs!).
I'm perfectly at peace with what I read, the articles, as it makes so much sense to me, but this digging/picking apart of other's & their stories is very strange to me.

Really you don't see warmth in IQ's posts? That is interesting.

I personally never thought IQ disspassionate or demeaning. A little frustrated here and there perhaps. Lol

I have found time and again that if something is a sensative point its because the understanding or belief in the one who is sensative is not solid yet. This uncludes myself as well as others.

I am not fond of the 'unsettle' it makes one feel, but do believe its necessary and am gratefull for it once it passes. This is true for me no matter what area of my life it shows up in.

We need a healthy balance or we become stagnent.

If you take the perspective IQ has and put your own words to it, how would it change? What words would you replace?

The beauty and also the downfall of language is that different words give different connotations to the reader. I didn't see purposefully insulting intent, I saw a general overview and a very real perspective. I am not sure I read it towards anyone in particular.

Why would you be afraid to share your truth even if others go against it? You believe in the bible, isn't that what jesus taught? Share your understandings even if others try to stop you? While some will not accept, others will be helped.

I find it odd to let fear of judgement stand in the way.

My point about lose the labels is to say lets not focus on who is a "runner" or "stayer" instead lets focus on the human/spirt experience that we all seem to be having. I'm just saying sometimes labels can hold us back. I guess we need words, but this seems beyond that realm anyway. I think we all want the same thing, to grow and evolve, and share love. We all have a path and they may differ, but we are all here on this board for a reason.

I didn't see anyone degrading IQ, and personally even if I don't agree with every word someone says, it's nice to have MANY pov. Yes, keeping things civil is always a good idea and more constructive.

[Internal Queries]

**sigh** all IQ tried to do was point out that these deeply spiritual relationships are transcendent to mundane manifestation and wallowing in woe because you aren't getting what you want out of your "TF" when you want it is counter productive to the deeper meanings and "missions" of these relationships.

79810PM might be find me cold and dispassionate and her POV is accurate in that i'm not the person to come to if one wants their weaknesses reenforced with coddling. one can easily get my empathy but my sympathy is very hard to come by.

[Internal Queries]

Originally Posted by twinwonder7

My point about lose the labels is to say lets not focus on who is a "runner" or "stayer" instead lets focus on the human/spirt experience that we all seem to be having. I'm just saying sometimes labels can hold us back. I guess we need words, but this seems beyond that realm anyway. I think we all want the same thing, to grow and evolve, and share love. We all have a path and they may differ, but we are all here on this board for a reason.

I didn't see anyone degrading IQ, and personally even if I don't agree with every word someone says, it's nice to have MANY pov. Yes, keeping things civil is always a good idea and more constructive.

i agree with the labeling thing. i don't like the "twin flame" label and i only go along with it and "runner" and "stayer" labels because these are the identifyers the folks on these threads are using.

i've a run-in with 79810PM before. she doesn't like me but that's okay.

Everyone, check this out, we are all here because we want to share and heal. So let's realize that not all of us will agree with each other, but let's not get all divisive. Chances are each of us has the ability to help someone else here by sharing our journeys. Agree to disagree. With so many types of people and stories we can't all be on the same page. Just lose the judging. Some people cry when they are sad other repress. Some people yell some people run and so on. Each of us is unique and there is nothing wrong with feelings. Let's all just help each other out however we can.

IQ, lol lack of coddeling doesn't mean cold or disspasionate...

I have little patience myself for those who choose to play victim repeatedly, or indefinately.

I think most of it is just stuff we all need to introspect on.

I know what you mean though. Time and again, I have stopped short, realising that if buttnugget did exactly as I wished then perhaps he wouldn't be buttnugget. Just because I didn't get what I imagined I should didn't mean anything was wrong, or needed changing.

I would appreciate not being ignored, but its where he is at right now. Its ok its allowed. Lol

When I allow myself to let him be exactly who he is, I am at peace. When I wish to change him I not.The same goes in regards to myself.

Thank you for sticking around!

[Internal Queries]

Originally Posted by Docha

IQ, lol lack of coddeling doesn't mean cold or disspasionate...

I have little patience myself for those who choose to play victim repeatedly, or indefinately.

I think most of it is just stuff we all need to introspect on.

I know what you mean though. Time and again, I have stopped short, realising that if buttnugget did exactly as I wished then perhaps he wouldn't be buttnugget. Just because I didn't get what I imagined I should didn't mean anything was wrong, or needed changing.

I would appreciate not being ignored, but its where he is at right now. Its ok its allowed. Lol

When I allow myself to let him be exactly who he is, I am at peace. When I wish to change him I not.The same goes in regards to myself.

Thank you for sticking around!

yeah. i'm so cold and disspassionate that you're acceptance of my self expression gets me a little teary eyed. lol

and i very much doubt Mr Buttnuggett (lol) is ignoring you. he may be TRYING to ignore you but i bet it's not working. believe me (as a "runner") try as i might and despite all the willfulness i can muster i can not ignore my principle co-operant. he's so deeply lodged in my soul that i'd have to be lobotomized to get rid of him. and that might not even work. lol