Looking for an answer

Thanks for the clarity and my heart truly goes out to you. There is nothing more cruel in relationships than leaving someone without closure and that's exactly what she did but never telling you WHY she was breaking contact. The good news is that it doesn't sound like you burnt any bridges. Telling her how you feel even if you were spamming her inbox might not be what she wants to hear but that isn't going to burn any bridges. And if she really didn't want to hear form you I'd think she'd have at least sent 1 emails telling you to leave her alone or goodbye BEFORE she blocked you. In fact most women would send multiple "hints" including "LEAVE ME ALONE THIS IS GOODBYE and even before that you'd usually give several we're just friends first" before they finally elevated things to blocking you. AND if she didn't want to keep getting email after email from you she could have just RESPONDED instead of blocking you which doesn't really send the msg to leave her alone because for all you know a new guy she is dating could have been the one to block you and all she could have been doing is not replying out of not knowing what to say. You just dont' KNOW. This is truly bizzare.

Originally Posted by WhiteWolfSpirit

I've been considering writing her a letter, and what exactly I'd say in it. However, the only guaranteed way I have of it actually reaching her now, would be to mail it to where she works. I also think, if she can tell it's from me, from the outside, she will throw it away unread.

Write it. Than have what you wrote vetted by someone that isn't emotionally involved. This will at least reassure you that you aren't sending her anything you'll regrete which will give you peace of mind if and when she doesn't respond. LOL at her throwing it away. She WILL read what you wrote even if its out of morbid curiousity or the need for an ego stroke. Why do you think she blocked you instead of just marking your email address as spam. She knew she had no self control and WOULD read your emails and I"m sure she felt BAD and uncomfortable by hearing what you were going through. I'm sure as time went on the guilt of how she left only grew and made it even hard to reply.

Originally Posted by WhiteWolfSpirit

I really am at a total loss. I know she has very strong feelings for me still (I'm still overrun with feelings I know are coming from her, all the time, I have multiple dreams about her, every single night, etc).

More reason to write the letter. True lover never gives up and till she tells you to leave her alone I wouldn't stop telling her how I felt granted I'd spreadout my replies so that she doesn't get desensitized from hearing from me. Few times a year is a powerful reminder. 30times/day isn't. If she wants to leave without giving you closure than she can deal with the result which is a guy that the didn't get the "message" to leave her alone. Write that letter.

Originally Posted by WhiteWolfSpirit

And you are right about the zero closure being hard to deal with. Of course, I'm not sure you can have closure with your TF, and I think that's exactly *why* she just leaves, and is unable to tell me to leave her alone, or even to just go away. She actually doesn't want to break the bond, or knows she can't. Hence my looking for an answer from my guides, the universe... I just want to know what's going on, and that she's going to be OK (what I've seen of what's going on with her suggests she is outwardly OK, that anyone who knows her casually would think she's happy, but that she is anything but inside).

You are completely correct in this regard. In fact even with my TF telling me this is goodbye with the closure you lack it still never gave me closure since I could see through her words and read her heart like it was my own. Other than face to face I'd never believe she didn't still love me. I'd need to feel that energy in person and hear the words come from her mouth.

Originally Posted by WhiteWolfSpirit

Oh, and about her thinking I'm angry at her, and that she burned bridges... there's no way that can be. I've sent her so much love and support in messages since, that I am sure she knows I'm not angry, and that I welcome her in my life, at any level. And of course, if you believe in the TF connection, I send her unconditional love and positive energy, every day. I tell her I love her, how wonderful she is, to never give up her dreams. If she feels even 1% of that, then she has no doubt how I feel for her.

Yeah, after you told me you sent her a bunch of heart felt letters after the inital blocking I complete agree that its not her thinking your angry. Other than down the road if she had a change of heart. Ever think about that? A few months, 6months a year from when she last heard from you she all of a sudden has a change of heart. But that fears that she burnt a bridge with you and that too much damage has been done. That allows her to go without contacting you for even more moths which only reinforce her fears. Sure if she's truly a TF eventually she'll be so miserable she'll have no choice to contact you. But would you rather find that out in 10yrs or now? You leaving a trail of bread crumbs makes it much easier for her to overcome her ego and fears and contact you again. Just keep things VERY light since clearly the more feelings you lay on her the harder it will be for her to contact you if she's still running hard.