Looking for an answer

I had posted a little of this into a pretty much unrelated thread, so I took that out, and I'm making my own, heh. I feel like I am at sort of a standstill here. I haven't been a member here too long, but I did post the short version of my story as my first post. I was a complete disaster for the most of the two years since my TF left me. I tried to reach out to her, so many times, that she eventually cut me off, blocked me out completely. It took me a long time, but I'm finally in a reasonably good spot.

Seriously... I've come so far on my own, I'm sure I'm doing what I am supposed to be doing. I am carrying on (alone) with the passions, and the work, that my TF and I were meant to do. I'm even going back to school this fall, for 4 years at 37 years of age, for a degree in what TF and I were passionate about together... and the thoughts still consume me. She wants nothing to do with me, at all, and I really can't blame her, after some of the breakdowns I had trying to reach out to her. Now that I'm stable and whole in myself again, I feel like it's critical that I show her that I'm OK. I know she feels guilt for what she did, how she left, and what she thinks she turned me in to. I think I need to get this across to her, for HER sake, not mine. She's left me no avenue at all, to contact her though.

I've asked for guidance from above, asked to be shown, if she's really better off with me out of her life. I've asked to be shown what is best for HER. And... if that means my absence... then grant me the wisdom, and the serenity, to accept that. I am coming from a place of zero self-concern, zero selfishness, now, it is all about her.

All is silent. I've been shown nothing, told nothing. I have been forsaken, I think. I'm relatively unschooled in all of this, so I may not know the proper methods to ask for this guidance, but I've certainly poured my heart and soul, my very essence, into this request. It's no longer about me... it is only for her well-being. If the purpose of this connection is to learn total, unconditional love, it has happened. I get it. I would do (or not do) *anything*, for her to be happy, and knowing my action/inaction is the best course is all I need to be happy myself. Please help me. I need my guides like I have never needed them before, and I am getting nothing.