Not Wanting to Come Into a Life

[Lynn]

Hello

I thought I would share how I came into this life. I so know I did not want to come into this life and I do feel I tried so hard not to. No regrets now in coming in I embrace life fully.

I feel that I tried to take my Mother out ( the host that was there to bring me in) as I never choose her I choose my Father, she was just the one he connected to. I never connected to my Mother, not matter how hard it was tried we never connected.

It was years of marriage before she got pregnant and when she did with me I know well I fought coming in as "female". It was early on in the pregnancy that her lung collapsed for no medical reasons. She was healthy. The Dr said that the pregnancy would not survive but it did. She recovered and had me. In having me again I tried not to come into this life as she had to have an emergency C Section (during the biggest storm in history where I was born was happening). Power outages and emergency generator power in the OR.

In I came I feel I tried twice to take her out, or to take me out, or both. Both times I failed it would seem. In I came, and it was a struggle. While I was healthy I was different. Isolated, trapped I guess would put it best with abilities at the time I was in were not as openly talked about.

I have no regrets on coming into this life now, as I understand how it has unfolded and why it has unfolded. Yet I wonder if we can fight not to come in and at times win that battle ?

Has anyone felt that they too fought not coming in or feel they never wanted to come in but did ?


Lynn