This will probably sound crazy but...

...here goes.

I've meditated on and off since 2011 and I'd estimate I probably have between 500 and 1,000 hours of formal sitting. In the past it was mostly a basic Vipassana technique, Calm abiding, but whenever I'd get to the point where breathe was barely detectable and mind was as an unflickering candle I'd shift to choiceless awareness. It was strictly for secular reasons and I was seeking the benefits cited by neuroscience and psychology. I can say it was amazingly beneficial as the difference in being was night and day between my off and on periods. I guess I thought I had it nailed when I was doing well so I'd drop it, only to realize five, six, seven months later I was right back at Square One. LOL!

I rebooted my practice a couple months ago, staying with the previous techniques and adding mindfulness of sound for some variety, but this time I delved deeply into the philosophical underpinnings, mostly the teachings of Advaita Vedanta. That is the significance of creating space between bare awareness and mind-body and experiencing the difference between what I am and who I think I am.

Judging from what I've been experiencing these last few weeks I'd say the combination of the knowledge I absorbed and direct experience during practice is amazingly powerful.

I've had two experiences of knowing beforehand, one a massive mind-blower that literally shook me to the core, and after tonight's sitting three experiences of messages, for lack of a better word. Kind of like those who experience NDEs describe non-verbal knowing during the experience. Oh, and there are times where I have a sense of tingling coursing through my body, wave after wave accompanied by a sense of ecstasy that brings free-flowing tears streaming down my cheeks. It's odd what triggers that. Could be a song, beautiful scenery, people enjoying themselves, it varies. I've never had anything even remotely close to this. Ever.

I've also had a massive shift in consciousness. I hesitate to label it but I see everything and everyone from an amazingly different perspective. I have no more edge, I feel totally open and I'm interacting amazingly open and authentic with others without the least fear what they'll think of me including strangers, I have genuine compassion for people who I considered difficult, yada, yada, yada. To put it mildly my worldview and sense of identity have been totally shattered and replaced with something very different.

Anyway, thanks for listening and letting me get this off my chest. There's really no other place I can discuss this. I tried with a close friend the day after I had an experience that left me shaken to my core and I don't think it went over too well. I chose him because he's told me he's had paranormal experiences throughout his life. That was nearly three weeks ago and he hasn't touched base with me since.