Getting into a Sleep Paralysis is so Hard =A=

Previously, I was so scared of Astral Projections cos that time I still had that belief where if my spirit/consciousness leaves the body, a spirit might take over. So back when I was so worried and skittish, I frequently get into OBE. The first experience was feeling floating out, but was helped pushed back down by someone since they thought am not ready and so worried (not sure who that someone is). Second time is when I feel surges of slight electrical heat feeling through body and release out. And I felt myself entering and sleep paralysis but I quickly opened my eyes wide, aware awake and go "AW NO! NOPE! NOPE NOPE NOPE! I am so not going into another OBE." Third time was when the energy surge happened again and I went into a quick sleep paralysis. Feeling it, I am like "Oh brother, a sleep paralysis, Oh well, might as well try the AP" Where I can imagine and feel myself sitting up and moving hands, but can't open eyes yet. And some astral guy or whoever it is came over and hug grabbed me (messing playing with me) and obviously I freaked out and quickly try imagining myself going back to my body, then poof, I woke up.

What am trying to say is, back when I was in so much fear, I easily go into sleep paralysis and always try to snap out of it before I enter SP. Like, it's so frustrating. And people say it's hard to AP when in fear djfnksdj oh god OAO what's wrong with me dnsfs

But now, I am no longer scared and actually look forward to AP. So now everytime I go sleep, take a nap, I feel excited, think positive and always repeat in my mind " I wanna astral project~ I wanna astral project~ I wanna see the other cool world~" But being too excited made me think too much until it's hard to fall asleep. And when I do fall asleep, it's when my mind became clear but went into the deep regular sleep.

It's like, while excited or relaxed, it's hard for me to do AP. But when in fear, I can easily do AP?? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE LOGIC ANYMORE D8<

(But I shall try again~ cos I so wanna meet my close buddy in astral projection activity~ )