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08-08-2014, 06:12 AM
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Master
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 2,467
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how do you cope with Rejection?
We have all been there before. How do deal with the object of your affection doesn't want you. ?
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08-08-2014, 06:46 AM
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Experiencer
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 477
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Realize it's not meant to be. They have their own issues to deal with in life. There are so many reasons for them to reject you that have nothing to do with you at all. It's not you, it's them!
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08-08-2014, 07:07 AM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 22,175
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With some difficulty.
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Radiate boundless love towards the entire world ~ Buddha
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08-08-2014, 07:21 AM
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Ascender
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 783
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i figured the reason why being rejected hurts, because it mirrors the way we reject ourselves. sometimes we do that by choosing the wrong person over the right one because we are rejecting something in us that makes us believe this person is better off without us.
being rejected hurts yes, but after a while, it was that same rejection that made me learn to love myself, not so he would love me now that i love myslef, but because i have fallen in love with who i am that needing an external validation from another person is not needed.
of course expressions of love from another are still very much appreciated but if they dont love me, all is well, i still love myself. and it is this love that needs no form of validation. i somehow find that when we seek other people to love us it is because we feel like something is lacking inside. and usually what we feel is lacking only we ourselves can fill in.
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 "Three things cannot be long hidden, the Sun, the Moon and the Truth. " - Buddha 
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08-08-2014, 07:54 PM
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Experiencer
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 379
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Renessme
of course expressions of love from another are still very much appreciated but if they dont love me, all is well, i still love myself. and it is this love that needs no form of validation. i somehow find that when we seek other people to love us it is because we feel like something is lacking inside. and usually what we feel is lacking only we ourselves can fill in.
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Yes! Exactly. The most important skill, that we can learn is to love ourselves and to focus on things we want(not the ones we don't.) |
08-08-2014, 09:41 PM
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Master
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 2,467
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Renessme
i figured the reason why being rejected hurts, because it mirrors the way we reject ourselves. sometimes we do that by choosing the wrong person over the right one because we are rejecting something in us that makes us believe this person is better off without us.
being rejected hurts yes, but after a while, it was that same rejection that made me learn to love myself, not so he would love me now that i love myslef, but because i have fallen in love with who i am that needing an external validation from another person is not needed.
of course expressions of love from another are still very much appreciated but if they dont love me, all is well, i still love myself. and it is this love that needs no form of validation. i somehow find that when we seek other people to love us it is because we feel like something is lacking inside. and usually what we feel is lacking only we ourselves can fill in.
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@ resenessme that was beautiful. I
do need to love myself more and I don't.
@ R
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10-08-2014, 08:07 AM
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Ascender
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 783
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@girl searching, scarlethayden and joyfirst, it took a while before i reached that state lol i also had those insecurities and that oh i will never be enough monologue haha but yes, i have been the person doing the rejecting and the person rejected. When i was rejecting a person its not because i think there is something wrong with them but because i dont have any interest in them ---> i wouldnt know what to do with them, like i dont live tem in that way so why give in to their wish of say being in a relationship with them. The reason is always me when i reject someone and it is less gecause of them.
When i was rejected, i was in despair, it was a humbling experience. My huge ego didnt like it one bit. But it was what made me look more inside. And theb i realized he was not the only person who rejected me. I was subconsciously rejecting myself too, hence me rejecting people who would otherwise be good for me, and also me welcoming and subconsciously manifesting people who are not so good for me lol its like the universe had to physically show to me how i am rejecting myself by being rejected by this person. And after seeral rjections, not just in terms of love and romance but as person or as a career professiinal, i figured majority of the times, i was rejected because i do not fit with what they want, yes i may have some misgivings but hugely it was because they have nothing to do with me if ever. So it was less about me and more to do with the one rejecting, similar to how when i reject a person its not because he is this or that but because this is me. And this me cannot fit him in who i am now. Hope that makes sense lol 
__________________
"Three things cannot be long hidden, the Sun, the Moon and the Truth. " - Buddha
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08-08-2014, 08:42 AM
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Deactivated Account
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,748
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I brush it off. It's not as much of a problem to me anymore as it used to be.
Love your post Renessme, very well described.
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08-08-2014, 12:11 PM
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Master
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Central Ohio
Posts: 1,016
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Recognize that someone who does not value you is not worthy of your attention.
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09-09-2014, 03:59 PM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,087
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by kris
Recognize that someone who does not value you is not worthy of your attention.
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Nicely said. And very true.
This holds true for partners, friends, and/or family, and certainly for acquaintances or strangers.
I love coming on here and seeing such direct and truthful words of wisdom, clarity, and comfort 
Peace & blessings,
7L
__________________
Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.
Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.
For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way
and become themselves despite all opposition.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
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