Breakups

Whats some good ways of releasing someone that you've broken up with?. I've broken up with my boyfriend and I know its for the best... its just hard thinking about him and seeing him hurting so much...any ideas anyone?

Alana

Dear Alana

I shared a relationship with one of my boyfriends for a period of ten years... We met when we were both twenty, and we parted ways at the age of thirty. We lived together the whole time. We loved eachother dearly, and learned alot about ourselves throughout the years that we spent together. He was extremely kind hearted and gentle. As the years passed, I felt that we were no longer growing together; we were slowly growing apart. I noticed as time went by, that we shared less in common than we once did. Our view points were different to the point that we could no longer find any middle ground to agree upon. I hoped during the last two years of our relationship that we could one day see eye to eye on the things I felt were important to enable us to continue forward, hand in hand, along our shared path. I hoped to no avail..... I slowly started to accept that he was he, and I was I.

During the last two years, I was detaching little by little, and as a result, was falling out of love with him. As our tenth year rolled around, I knew in my heart that it was time for me to move on... We were living in two very different spaces. I told him one day that I was leaving...The shock was incredible to him... I know that he thought that we would never part. I stayed with some friends for a while to gather my thoughts, and figure out how to do this as gently as I possibly could. There were no instruction books on the subject.

During the breakup period, we lived through every emotion you could possibly imagine. He often said that he knew what he had done wrong, and was willing to make changes. He begged me to stay with him, with the look of total despair in his eyes. His pain was overwhelming.

I told him that he was not responsible for anything, and neither was I. We had reached this point in our story...period. It had nothing to do with being right or wrong.

I believe that when we make important decisions in our lives, we do so because we feel it is in our own best interest. Sometimes these decisions will affect others, we have absolutely no control over that. The only thing we can do is be sensitve, caring, steadfast and honest about how we are feeling. Nobody is at fault, no blame should ever be placed on anyone. To make choices in our own best interest, I believe, is an act of loving self. Life to me, is a series of choices. When a situation is no longer comfortable, it is time move forward and make room for something new


Love and Hugs to you Alana, during this difficult time xoxo....

Wind of Grace xo....

Awww thankyou for that. You must have been put in my path to help me:). I'm going through a similar situation and his reaction has been the same and the guilt I'm feeling is enormous. My boyfriend and I have grown apart as well and I realised over the past 2 months I was no longer in love with him and that we were both heading in different directions. You give me hope that things will get better. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart:)

I am jumping with joy, I love it when we can help each other!

Hugs for both of you

Love to all
cw

Sending huge hugs to you all

I have been through a very similar thing this past year and I know how hard it can be.

You are all very kind... xo ...

When I had questions about life, and the sometimes difficult decisions that I was faced with, I was, and still am, truly grateful to my close friends who were always there to share their points of views, and unwavering support. Life, for me, is all about sharing and encouraging eachother along our individual paths. I'm grateful to be able to share with all of you.....

Love and Hugs Forever, Wind of Grace xo....

love and light to you........am trying very hard too. It's very very hard to let go especially after 18 years.....but the time is coming big hug to you
XXX