Share your Stories...Share hope

I think it would be nice to have a thread where we can share our experiences of Miracles and hope. For me it's a reminder that all things are possible and for those of you in need of healing, love, strength, faith and
encouragement may this thread bring you all that you ask for : )

About 17 years ago I was stuck in an abusive relationship. The relationship lasted 10 years and during that time all me thoughts were negative and circled around how I was going to get out of that relationship alive and WITH my children. I was unable to step out of fighting the appearance. The negativity had pulled me so far away from the truth that I was blind toward anything good.

Then one day I went to the bank. I was standing in line and as usual I was totally caught up in my thoughts about survival. I suddenly had the feeling that someone was watching me. I looked up and saw a man with his son standing in line in front of me. The man and the child were looking at me, then looking at each other and looking at me again. Both of them had a light around them that I had never seen before, they did not say a word, but smiled. I don't recall but I probably did not smile back, I was too stunned. I forgot every thing around me: my life, the bank and all happenings. As soon as I was done with my transaction at the bank I ran out side to see where they were heading. But they were gone. But the smile was deep imbedded into my soul. I found the strength to leave the relationship and start a new life. For me those two " visitors" were angels. Reminding me that God IS all the time, everywhere.

When I think back at this beautiful experience that helped me to change my life I feel blessed for all it took was a smile and I have plenty of them now to give away : )

[Tanemon]

Yours is a positive and inspiring story, Shabby.

My story starts in my early life. My mother was a person who believed in kindness, gentleness, and learning. She exemplified these qualities, but her response to the problems and stresses of her life was to enter a recurrent depression from the time I was age 11 or so. Dad was a hard-working man, and was both intelligent and very physical - but as his relatives observed, he had always had an explosive temper. Though he had a fun-loving side, amongst his wife and sons he was stern in asserting his opinions about politics, religion, authenticity, and the realities of the world.

Dad believed in rasing his boys by the principle "spare the rod and you spoil the child". He was a disiplinarian, but beyond that his advice to us was at times contradictory and my brother and I had to try to decipher how it applied in our lives, as we grew up. Something would offend Dad, and he'd be red faced and hitting us (though I'm glad to say that as far as I knew he didn't hit our mother). We grew afraid and resentful of Dad.

For me all this was complicated by the fact that I was deemed to be a pretty fast learner in school. So early-on I was put into a grade level where a lot of the kids were nine months to a year older than I was - and coupled with the fact that I wasn't big for my age, that made me somewhat runtish amongst the boys in my grade level. Which left me a bit vulnerable to the bullies and pushy roughnecks. Dad's only sort of advice was to stand up for myself physically, though I knew he'd resent it if he was called in to consult with a teacher or the principal about his son the pugnacious student! My life left me feeling "damned if I do, and damned if I don't".

My natural spiritual interest and my curiosity prompted me to read about subjects like Vedanta (yoga philosophy), Zen Buddhism, and mystical Christianity. By the time I was 20, I took some instruction in yoga meditation, which was the beginning of my varied practical explorations. Going deep within, I found my spiritual center - however, this did not liberate me in my daily life from the emotional muck made of fear, inner conflict, confusion, sadness, and shame. I had many wonderful experiences and great days, but when I faced adversity I was susceptible to dark feelings and real dread. It put a warp into personal relationships, worklife, and seemed to ruin my chances to feel I was succeeding at living.

I got married young, and my wife and I had a daughter. It all ended in misery when our daughter was less than three years old. My wife and a friend of mine had an affair, and affairs became the way my partner chose to escape the humdrum of being a mother and housewife.

Anyhow, I did meditation and dream-journal work, attended some Native-American ceremonies, and all these sorts of things. Finally, after an injury to my leg while on a hike, I took a "Reiki" course, because I knew it had to do with "healing". When I got attuned to Reiki, it seemed to dissolve about 80% of the mud of old inner stuff, all at once. It also helped with working on the complicated frustration and sadness of my marriage break-up.

I can't adequately express how glad I've been that I stumbled toward (or was led to) Light and to healing. Grateful, to be sure.

Hey Tanemon,
Thank you for sharing your story. I am sad to hear that you marriage broke apart and that you experienced infidelity during your marriage. I know what you must have went through. On the positive side you are who you are because of these experiences and I am sure there is purpose why you experienced them. I am glad you have found the center within yourself from which all blessing emanate : )

Thanks for sharing Shabby .... your story gave me goose bumps! I've had a double whammy dose of human kindness bestowed upon me, synchronistically (from different sources) at one time...(which made me feel stunned and blessed) but nothing on your scale. Not life changing!

Originally Posted by amy green

Thanks for sharing Shabby .... your story gave me goose bumps! I've had a double whammy dose of human kindness bestowed upon me, synchronistically (from different sources) at one time...(which made me feel stunned and blessed) but nothing on your scale. Not life changing!

Please share Amy! You never know who is reading : )

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

I've yakked about mine already; troubled youth ( death and divorce , drugs and heartbreak) followed by delusional worship of teen boy guru , followed by more drugs , a brutal vision of how nearly hopeless spiritual salvation was for me , followed by an adulthood of acute alcoholism and the same old heartbreak I clung to the whole time.

It wasn't all bad but being drunk all the time , which I was , literally, for the last year and a half, is a particularly ugly kind of hell , when you know you have a mountain of bad karma (or whatever) weighing you down, and death might be the only relief, if you didn't think that an even uglier kind of torment awaited you there.

No intentions of changing , no plan to get better , just a few clear moments here and there to pray to the gods or the guru or anything to let it end .
But one day something happened ; I slipped into the inbetween world , half here and half hallucination . It was the DT's , what amounted to waking nightmares for three days ; a dangerous accidental (I went crazy and forgot to drink) detox from alcohol . A night in the padded cell, and then 5 weeks in a rehab center , then a brand new life as a brand new person . Dave aint here, man ; he died and probably came back as a chihuahua . I use the body now . If that isn't a miracle, then I don't believe in miracles .

Originally Posted by Dar

I've yakked about mine already; troubled youth ( death and divorce , drugs and heartbreak) followed by delusional worship of teen boy guru , followed by more drugs , a brutal vision of how nearly hopeless spiritual salvation was for me , followed by an adulthood of acute alcoholism and the same old heartbreak I clung to the whole time.

It wasn't all bad but being drunk all the time , which I was , literally, for the last year and a half, is a particularly ugly kind of hell , when you know you have a mountain of bad karma (or whatever) weighing you down, and death might be the only relief, if you didn't think that an even uglier kind of torment awaited you there.

No intentions of changing , no plan to get better , just a few clear moments here and there to pray to the gods or the guru or anything to let it end .
But one day something happened ; I slipped into the inbetween world , half here and half hallucination . It was the DT's , what amounted to waking nightmares for three days ; a dangerous accidental (I went crazy and forgot to drink) detox from alcohol . A night in the padded cell, and then 5 weeks in a rehab center , then a brand new life as a brand new person . Dave aint here, man ; he died and probably came back as a chihuahua . I use the body now . If that isn't a miracle, then I don't believe in miracles .

Yes Dar that is a Miracles and hope for all that think they can't do it. What I would like to know is what happened in those 5 weeks? What awareness did you gain and what triggered it? I mean, what brought about the change do you think?

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

Originally Posted by Shabby

Yes Dar that is a Miracles and hope for all that think they can't do it. What I would like to know is what happened in those 5 weeks? What awareness did you gain and what triggered it? I mean, what brought about the change do you think?

What I figured out later was that I had a walk-in transition, or some kind of similar thing where a death and rebirth occur , without the body actually dying. What happened during rehab..... well, I have to include some of the hallucinations/nightmares ...one in particular is very significant. I wrote about it before but what happened was a 'vision' in the lounge of a doctor's office. Isaw a young boy in elaborate ceremonial garb , huge head dress, looked Tibetan or something . He was reciting a complex litany in an odd language and it went on and on. Very surreal , very cryptic , but it didn't seem at all out of the ordinary at the time. It was one of the less dramatic delusions over the three day stretch . Later , I figured it was a vision symbolic of death and rebirth , and was like a ceremony ; a rite for for the old me phasing out .

Rehab was cool, but I was so dense and such a mess emotionally ; it was a new beginning. Lots of people think finishing rehab is an end of sorts , but it's really only the beginning, if a person sincerely wants a new life . There was one big thing that happened there , a dream about my former guru , who I revered as if he were Jesus himself (whom I literally thought he was, and Buddha, and Krishna ). So having a dream where he picks me up in a bearhug and says in my ear "you know you can't drink anymore " was at the time one of the most meaningful experiences of my life . That really inspired me , and it finally felt like the dam had burst and the huge burden of bad karma had been lifted . That made the serious work of turning my whole life around much easier . I wanted to do whatever I had to to get better ; I wanted to go to AA meetings and do the work. I wanted to look at the wreckage of my past and rebuild myself , to examine my broken pieces and fix them.

Rehab saved my life and I knew that , but finally feeling the spirit connection for real was what made a whole new life not just possible, but ... inevitable .
That was the difference ; before it was nebulous, elusive, tenuous. Now it was just ... there , and not leaving . It was a couple years later and after getting into some different stuff (not Eastern or Western, or New Age , really) of the channeled ET master variety, that I pieced together the whole thing into what added up to a walk-in experience. But that doesn't matter a whole lot , what we call it . I was 'born again' and living a different life .

Originally Posted by Dar

What I figured out later was that I had a walk-in transition, or some kind of similar thing where a death and rebirth occur , without the body actually dying. What happened during rehab..... well, I have to include some of the hallucinations/nightmares ...one in particular is very significant. I wrote about it before but what happened was a 'vision' in the lounge of a doctor's office. Isaw a young boy in elaborate ceremonial garb , huge head dress, looked Tibetan or something . He was reciting a complex litany in an odd language and it went on and on. Very surreal , very cryptic , but it didn't seem at all out of the ordinary at the time. It was one of the less dramatic delusions over the three day stretch . Later , I figured it was a vision symbolic of death and rebirth , and was like a ceremony ; a rite for for the old me phasing out .

Rehab was cool, but I was so dense and such a mess emotionally ; it was a new beginning. Lots of people think finishing rehab is an end of sorts , but it's really only the beginning, if a person sincerely wants a new life . There was one big thing that happened there , a dream about my former guru , who I revered as if he were Jesus himself (whom I literally thought he was, and Buddha, and Krishna ). So having a dream where he picks me up in a bearhug and says in my ear "you know you can't drink anymore " was at the time one of the most meaningful experiences of my life . That really inspired me , and it finally felt like the dam had burst and the huge burden of bad karma had been lifted . That made the serious work of turning my whole life around much easier . I wanted to do whatever I had to to get better ; I wanted to go to AA meetings and do the work. I wanted to look at the wreckage of my past and rebuild myself , to examine my broken pieces and fix them.

Rehab saved my life and I knew that , but finally feeling the spirit connection for real was what made a whole new life not just possible, but ... inevitable .
That was the difference ; before it was nebulous, elusive, tenuous. Now it was just ... there , and not leaving . It was a couple years later and after getting into some different stuff (not Eastern or Western, or New Age , really) of the channeled ET master variety, that I pieced together the whole thing into what added up to a walk-in experience. But that doesn't matter a whole lot , what we call it . I was 'born again' and living a different life .

Inspiring words Dar. It bought a tear to my eye. I understand about walk in expereinces and I know how profound and life changing they can be.

It does almost feel like a whole new life in this type of born again connection..I agree.