Self Chosen states of consciousness

[chadley]

Hi there, my name is Chadley. (giggles)

I've been a member for a while and I've both watched and participated in many heated discussions on this forum and sometimes feelings even get hurt or people get upset or plain offended.

If anyone will join me, I'd like to talk specifically about the reaction caused by "being offended". I'd like to see if anyone here would say that the state of consciousness of, "being offended" is self-chosen or purely involuntary, or somewhere in between.

The reason i ask this, is because often excellent discussions are marred by the reaction of some of its participants.

When looking inside for deeper meaning, and then bravely communicating it, it can be hard to take if someone challenges your beliefs or ideas. And sometimes, even if your momma does wear army boots, its still difficult to admit, even to yourself.

What if we tried to, as often as we can, look inside when we are offended?

My other question is, When seeking the truth, is it really relevant whether or not someone's post is insulting? Is it possible to look beyond the insults and focus on the merit of the statements made themselves?

It is my position that with a few deep breaths and a bit of discipline and practice, it is possible to avoid the nasty little state of consciousness that is, "being offended".

Whadda yuh tink, huh?

Chadley.

Yes..I think the difficulty arises from forgetting the couple of deep breaths and instead allowing the One knee to jerk..

I think it goes further than choosing. If we create our reality, we have, on some level, created the event that has offended us. It is then our choice what to do with it. Let it go, clean it out of our consciousnesses, or become offended. They key to it is that in everything that "happens" to us, "we" are the common denominator.

Glen

You ask "is being offended self-chosen, purely involuntary or something inbetween?"....

As I see it, some people are sufficiently sensitive that they are more easily offended than others - so is there a choice in how sensitive they are/become? Another aspect is the size of someone's ego/self importance...it is pretty easy to offend someone with a huge ego. Of course there is a certain responsibility of whoever is saying that which is deemed offensive i.e. could it have been phrased more delicately? Or would it have made no difference in the sense that most people wouldn't have found the remark offensive?

Re. your other question of debating the truth and being insulted. If someone is really interested in finding an answer (depending on the severity of the insult) they should be able to bypass the remark and soldier on. It may well be that the insult could be used as an excuse to halt the debate, i.e. if they are losing the argument anyway - a handy cop-out.

[adamkade]

Originally Posted by amy green

You ask "is being offended self-chosen, purely involuntary or something inbetween?"....

As I see it, some people are sufficiently sensitive that they are more easily offended than others - so is there a choice in how sensitive they are/become? Another aspect is the size of someone's ego/self importance...it is pretty easy to offend someone with a huge ego. Of course there is a certain responsibility of whoever is saying that which is deemed offensive i.e. could it have been phrased more delicately? Or would it have made no difference in the sense that most people wouldn't have found the remark offensive?

Re. your other question of debating the truth and being insulted. If someone is really interested in finding an answer (depending on the severity of the insult) they should be able to bypass the remark and soldier on. It may well be that the insult could be used as an excuse to halt the debate, i.e. if they are losing the argument anyway - a handy cop-out.

I agree with this. Very few truly offend. But sometimes it does feel as if some are opposed. Yet this is often okay, and can be very productive. After all it is only when we are wrong, can we be corrected.

Yet I have found it hard to respond to some threads because the persons, though not be offensive in their language, were deconstructing my posts, fragment by fragment, but then not revealing to me how it is that I might improve by their insight. I think sometimes it can be useful to take a sentence, and reveal how its reasoning is flawed. Often it is the case that a whole post can follow from one flawed bit of reasoning.

Yet sometimes when I look back on their post, I can not for the life of me understand what they are getting at. Then I write another post explaining that I am at a lose for understanding. Then they deconstruct that post and I am again left in the same position. Then I see them doing it again, in other peoples posts.

I think it okay to question a person's post, and even openly oppose another's ideas, if you are providing them with a better idea, or a better way at looking at something, or even, merely a different perspective. Yet there have been times when people simply criticize, and deconstruct for the sake of doing it. If I search for any of their threads, they have none. It seems as if they just criticize others yet never place their ideas in a cohesive form because they are aware that another might to the same to them as they do to others.

[psychoslice]

As long as we have a belief in something we will always get upset when this belief is challenged, I have learnt not to hold onto any beliefs, not to cling to anything as if its my whole life.

Truth is always flowing, it can never be packaged or imprisoned in our little minds, we need to die every day to anything we have cling on to, to let go and be refreshed, this way you can never be offended, if there is any offence, it would have to be the ego, "how dare you challenge me", lol.

I become offended/hurt when somebodys communication triggers a negitive belief in me that i hold to be true.....

And when i get upset, i sometimes say to myself "well there's still a crack in this pot"..... Cheers

[Miss Hepburn]

I couldn't possibly be offended, you are all idiots.



No you're not...I'm just too self-centered to care what y'all think or about
Your eternal souls.

Well to be offended, I'd say is to perceive or imagine that one's person-identity is being attacked , directly or indirectly.

1. Disagreeable to the senses: an offensive odor.
2. Causing anger, displeasure, resentment, or affront: an offensive gesture.

I shouldn't logically feel hurt it you don't like my coffee flavor , opinion or taste in pizza, though many of us fail to distinguish between a personal attack or a challenge to a belief-taste.

However , our online persona-reputation-image is at stake here, as well.
So this complicates matters immensely.

I expect street gangs have suffered fatalities over implied-unspoken insults of no import.
And this brings up intent.

If someone challenges ideas just to bait me , or challenges a poster in "my" thread to create unwelcome debate,,... their intent is antagonistic and IMO deliberately disruptive.
Many threads ARE intended as debates, yet many are not, but seek instead to connect with those of similar mind-similar experience, and learn from one another.

SF isn't myspace, and one would hope folks over 12 recognize when a "serious" exchange is occurring, and respect the OP's intent, and the tone of a thread. If one cannot contribute something positive, they'd be better off starting their own topic.

No doubt many here view SF as an alternative to a video game or TV cop show. As entertainment. Yet many more truly care to learn,share,exchange,grow.

Perhaps we need a couple forums -headings devoted to politically incorrect rants, offensive debate or virtual mud wrestling.

[adamkade]

Originally Posted by Henri77

Well to be offended, I'd say is to perceive or imagine that one's person-identity is being attacked , directly or indirectly.

2. Causing anger, displeasure, resentment, or affront: an offensive gesture.

I shouldn't logically feel hurt it you don't like my coffee flavor , opinion or taste in pizza, though many of us fail to distinguish between a personal attack or a challenge to a belief-taste.

However , our online persona-reputation-image is at stake here, as well.
So this complicates matters immensely.

I expect street gangs have suffered fatalities over implied-unspoken insults of no import.
And this brings up intent.

If someone challenges ideas just to bait me , or challenges a poster in "my" thread to create unwelcome debate,,... their intent is antagonistic and IMO deliberately disruptive.
Many threads ARE intended as debates, yet many are not, but seek instead to connect with those of similar mind-similar experience, and learn from one another.

SF isn't myspace, and one would hope folks over 12 recognize when a "serious" exchange is occurring, and respect the OP's intent, and the tone of a thread. If one cannot contribute something positive, they'd be better off starting their own topic.

No doubt many here view SF as an alternative to a video game or TV cop show. As entertainment. Yet many more truly care to learn,share,exchange,grow.

Perhaps we need a couple forums -headings devoted to politically incorrect rants, offensive debate or virtual mud wrestling.

1. Disagreeable to the senses: an offensive odor.

That reminds me I do need some deodorant *brings out note book and pen. Whilst I have my note book in hand, could you please show me in list form: what you favorite coffee is, and what is your favorite pizza. *Looks up expectantly.