self love - best practices

[QT Pie]

I am curious to hear from those that have identified this as something you needed to work on. What has worked for you? What are your best ways to build and sustain self appreciation acceptance and love?

[Deepsoul]

Connecting with God is very important to me ,knowing that i am unconditionally loved helps me to try to be that way towards myself. Often I need to talk my way through my day also so I feel like Im here ,I have had alot of trauma ,ill health in my life but something just keeps me going ,I believe in a better life , Ive had to be brave ,expose my victim ,and bare my ego ,surrender to what is deeply right, not easy stuff, compassion, forgiveness, courage and good old love all go along way in my recipe for building self love.Affirmations are helpful too but be ware that your journey is not blinded by them ,it is good to say you love yourself but too much self love can and does lead to selfishness we must be able to be empathetic towards our fellow brothers and sisters at all times ,be able to see the value of humility and serve God to the best of our abilities............Resting Butterfly

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Deepsoul

Connecting with God...

Funny, this was all I saw....and stopped reading.
Nothing complicated there!

Know God.
Know who you are.
Know the love that is there for you...dirty or clean, rude or nice...
still there loving you.
So it's easy to love yourself when THAT kinda Love
is there.
But, intellectualize it and it's pretty much flat.
Key words are know and connect, as Deepsoul said.

My 2 cents.

Second best practice? Be someone that you love being.

[QT Pie]

I got no fear of overly loving myself, I would love that to be a risk. I exchange myself every opportunity I get if I think someone would just give half a ****. :)

My inability to open up to people has everything to do with not fear.. but being utterly convinced they are not going to be able to like what they see. And it's dumb. There is no reason I should feel that way. I don't have any glaring issues like addiction (unless you count god) it is just soooo deeply rooted in my experience. It's hard to argue with factual experiences even understanding your conclusion is wrong. It's like the reason it happens changed but experientially who cares the reasons, it's still an "is" for me. Every perceived rejection is an affirmation I am meant to be totally alone in this life. I am so hopelessly stuck going back to this place in my mind. Like a deep painful acceptance that rises up and comes to dinner every now and then.

[Cmt12]

Originally Posted by QT Pie

I got no fear of overly loving myself, I would love that to be a risk. I exchange myself every opportunity I get if I think someone would just give half a ****. :)

My inability to open up to people has everything to do with not fear.. but being utterly convinced they are not going to be able to like what they see. And it's dumb. There is no reason I should feel that way. I don't have any glaring issues like addiction (unless you count god) it is just soooo deeply rooted in my experience. It's hard to argue with factual experiences even understanding your conclusion is wrong. It's like the reason it happens changed but experientially who cares the reasons, it's still an "is" for me. Every perceived rejection is an affirmation I am meant to be totally alone in this life. I am so hopelessly stuck going back to this place in my mind. Like a deep painful acceptance that rises up and comes to dinner every now and then.

Are you aware that those feelings of unworthiness and rejection are subconscious, meaning outside of your conscious control? They are being triggered by the situations and circumstances much like someone with PTSD gets triggered by a loud noise.

That doesn't mean the situation is hopeless but it's an important point. I'm just saying you don't need to blame your (conscious) self for those struggles or feel like you are lacking in the ability to self love or self accept. This is literally a universal problem for everyone. The quest to cure this problem is IMO the foundation of spiritual development and religion.

[QT Pie]

Originally Posted by Cmt12

Are you aware that those feelings of unworthiness and rejection are subconscious, meaning outside of your conscious control? They are being triggered by the situations and circumstances much like someone with PTSD gets triggered by a loud noise.

That doesn't mean the situation is hopeless but it's an important point. I'm just saying you don't need to blame your (conscious) self for those struggles or feel like you are lacking in the ability to self love or self accept. This is literally a universal problem for everyone. The quest to cure this problem is IMO the foundation of spiritual development and religion.

Yes, that feels to be the case. It's particularly deep with me. People talk about meditating and feeling all this love and etc. I've felt a lot of things peace, contentment... Never love. During my awakening still no profound love. When I inquired about that I felt I didn't and haven't felt that because I would likely use it to torture myself. If I felt it I would obsess on it as something unavailable to me. Also, I know I feel love, but I interpret it as anxiety fear and pure trickery.

Basically, I gotta except it before I can feel it...when I close my eyes and focus on my self love I sense a vast emptiness.. can't even find a flickering spark to grow.

[Cmt12]

Originally Posted by QT Pie

Yes, that feels to be the case. It's particularly deep with me. People talk about meditating and feeling all this love and etc. I've felt a lot of things peace, contentment... Never love. During my awakening still no profound love. When I inquired about that I felt I didn't and haven't felt that because I would likely use it to torture myself. If I felt it I would obsess on it as something unavailable to me. Also, I know I feel love, but I interpret it as anxiety fear and pure trickery.

Basically, I gotta except it before I can feel it...when I close my eyes and focus on my self love I sense a vast emptiness.. can't even find a flickering spark to grow.

I can relate. I know I've already told you this but continue to pray with humility and intensity. It will be beneficial in ways you likely won't be able to perceive until later in the future. This advice goes for anyone reading this post. It really does help in speeding up the spiritual development process. Ok good luck.

Originally Posted by QT Pie

I got no fear of overly loving myself, I would love that to be a risk. I exchange myself every opportunity I get if I think someone would just give half a ****. :)

My inability to open up to people has everything to do with not fear.. but being utterly convinced they are not going to be able to like what they see. And it's dumb. There is no reason I should feel that way. I don't have any glaring issues like addiction (unless you count god) it is just soooo deeply rooted in my experience. It's hard to argue with factual experiences even understanding your conclusion is wrong. It's like the reason it happens changed but experientially who cares the reasons, it's still an "is" for me. Every perceived rejection is an affirmation I am meant to be totally alone in this life. I am so hopelessly stuck going back to this place in my mind. Like a deep painful acceptance that rises up and comes to dinner every now and then.

One of the biggest "fears" in life is Not being "enough."

I understand...

Do you know that you come from Source Energy? That you are part of everything that ever was/is?

If so, you understand that everything and everyone is really just an extension of you, responding to you. Just like your finger wiggles at your command. The world around you responds perfectly to you.

The most helpful thought here is, how are you treating yourself? How much appreciation do you have for EVERYTHING? Yep, even the judgement of happenings you call "bad."

Everything in your experience is a reflection of your "vibration" ( your thoughts, attitudes, feelings). Your vibration is 100% in your control. Always has been, always will be. BUT, do you know how to "tune" it to what you want? Or is it just staying "tuned" to what you were exposed to as a child???

A beautiful thing about life is that it is always expansive, it is always changing, and you must seek that which you truly desire. To focus on the past is to stay in the past, to focus on the present and expansion to is LOVE. To APPRECIATE.

Other people are always going to respond to you whether you understand how that Cause/effect relationship works or not.... it works..

Focus on the present moment and allow expansion. This will help you.

Be well,
Dr. Matt Mullaney

P.S. - Go back thru and read VERY VERY closely what you originally wrote (it's quoted above). If you do, you will see some contradictions. How we say and What we say are perfect reflections of what we think (our vibration)

[QT Pie]

Originally Posted by Create Your Desires

One of the biggest "fears" in life is Not being "enough."

I understand...

Do you know that you come from Source Energy? That you are part of everything that ever was/is?

If so, you understand that everything and everyone is really just an extension of you, responding to you. Just like your finger wiggles at your command. The world around you responds perfectly to you.

Yes, I have had powerful seeing on this. After my awakening I perceived the world as dust particles. When I fed an idea of who I am into myself in a certain way every particle around me changed. It was like shifting into an entirely different dimension. Even the people around me changed...

Originally Posted by Create Your Desires

The most helpful thought here is, how are you treating yourself? How much appreciation do you have for EVERYTHING? Yep, even the judgement of happenings you call "bad."

Everything in your experience is a reflection of your "vibration" ( your thoughts, attitudes, feelings). Your vibration is 100% in your control. Always has been, always will be. BUT, do you know how to "tune" it to what you want? Or is it just staying "tuned" to what you were exposed to as a child???

A beautiful thing about life is that it is always expansive, it is always changing, and you must seek that which you truly desire. To focus on the past is to stay in the past, to focus on the present and expansion to is LOVE. To APPRECIATE

It is not a constant sense. Generally I am neutral in my affection for self. Then this rises up when triggered by some perceived abandonment. I have no use for desire. It has only ever gotten me into trouble. If I have a desire its to be free of desires. To be content with what is. To not require more from my experience than what I am experiencing. Appreciation... I appreciate being free from the self I was. I appreciate being free from the mechanics of the suffering self. I appreciate the positive changes in my relationships doing this work has afforded me. I do not have a sense of appreciating this life experience and I do not appreciate the shattered pieces self that defy death and still manage to take me unaware.

Originally Posted by Create Your Desires

Other people are always going to respond to you whether you understand how that Cause/effect relationship works or not.... it works..

Focus on the present moment and allow expansion. This will help you.

Be well,
Dr. Matt Mullaney

P.S. - Go back thru and read VERY VERY closely what you originally wrote (it's quoted above). If you do, you will see some contradictions. How we say and What we say are perfect reflections of what we think (our vibration)

I have reread multiple times. I do not see the inconsistencies you speak of. Exchanging ones self is not the same as opening up. I would be grateful if you could elaborate on that specifically. It's entirely possible I am to close.

Thank you!

[LadyMay]

Self-loving takes time. In my own case I have an expanded heart chakra but I have aspects of me rooted deep down in my lower chakras which feel unloved and alone, those are the parts that need support and time, you can't force them out. Then when they're ready they rise up and go through the heart chakra to be loved and transmuted. Sometimes it's more painful than others, the negativity can get stuck there for a little while. But after my heart is even bigger than it was before.

You can self-love fully without being fully filled with love... sort of like you allow and accept that you just need time to heal and that can't be done in a fortnight.

Also I don't agree too much self-love is selfish, if you've ever felt love you know that's an impossible thing. Love is neither selfish or selfless but neither and yet both.