How to let go of emotion

New to learning of LOA and the thing I have been dealing with for months is the breakup of my love. I miss him more than anything on earth and would do almost anything to get him back. I know that wont happen at this time and maybe never in the future as he is not very happy with me right now and decided to date others.

So what I have been feeling lately is pure loneliness. I want a partner, i want to feel lover, cherished, etc.

How do i put that out to the universe that I want that more than anything without the emotion that i feel. I want to forget about feeling this way and not worrying about being alone forever at 43, but its hard. i need to have the attention of a man. Lets not get into why.... Its a mess, but this is what i want.

What do you suggest i do? I want to be loved and cherished by a man in a romantic way. not by family or friends.

Sorry to sound so lame but this is really weighing heavy on my heart.

what you should do is know that the right man is out there for you, know that he will come into your life when the timing is right, don't dwell on what you don't have, be confident that this will happen.

Bear in mind that our emotions can play awful tricks if we aren't in control of them. So you have to understand that it's important to avoid engaging with someone new "on the rebound" as that would alleviate pain in the short term but may store up future problems.

There really is no quick answer. This thing will weigh on you for some time so it's best just to allow yourself time; make friends (as best you can) and try to resist the temptation to extend feelings of 'love' when on face value you seem mutually attracted with someone. Not suggesting you close yourself up to feelings/emotions, just take it slowly.

I'm normally loath to say this* but try to rationalise why you like someone; try to balance your logical mind with your emotions. Try to rationalise why you feel the way you do for this person. Find things to dislike about them (not in any vindictive way and don't try to find reasons for the dislike. It could be something as simple as you don't like their choice of ties; or how they'd never tell you what time to expect them home...) and, likewise, what you liked about them. Just make LDI judgements (like, dislike, indifferent). Write them down if you feel inclined.

You want to let go of these emotions? Your "examining" of the whys and wherefores should help distance them. You can't banish them completely (and, of course, memories will always remain) but at least you'll feel that it isn't the end of the/your world - and that the death of one thing is the birth of something new. Clear the "slate", clear the space. When you arise in the morning, if the sun is up stretch your arms high to it and breath in the lovely positive feeling of the new day.

* I basically believe we're led by our hearts in emotional matters but we have to try to balance things with our mind, our (hopefully!) better judgement (the conscience that looks after us - our guardian angel, some might say). There are ways to grab the reins of emotions a lot tighter - spiritual practices and other sub-fora on this site may help. Have a look at affirmations and meditation.

Anyway, here's hoping that things ease up for you. Take care and keep well. As Primrose says, there's someone out there for you, no worry about that! Just take your time finding him.
Lorelyen.

[Native spirit]

in order for anyone to love you ,you first have to learn to love yourself,looking to hard for a soul mate will only put ppl off, just enjoy yourself being single and see what comes your way.


Namaste

[acorn]

I think that you already knew before you posted that you were not going to get a quick fix here ,or anywhere else for that matter

i need to have the attention of a man. Lets not get into why.... Its a mess, but this is what i want.

Some food for thought.....you said i need....and then ....it's what I want

So it is a need at first ...and then it turns into a want... the want is the truth of the matter NOT the need. I'm not trying to minimize your feelings of loneliness....maybe the universe is showing you that you need to be ok with yourself first....there is nothing wrong with wanting the attention & the affection of a man....but your underlying problem that you don't want to get onto ,will not simply vanish if you find a man. Maybe you could use this time to reflect and pray or meditate if you are so inclined to...and trace these emotions down to their root cause... be brave and take a good look at yourself and at others also...be brutally honest....then if you can... forgive others ...and forgive yourself ...then move on... not easy, but you can do it.
Love
acorn

[joyfirst]

Sorry, double post.

[joyfirst]

Originally Posted by rkajs

I want a partner, i want to feel lover, cherished, etc.

.

Then give it to yourself. Be yourself a partner you want to have. Love and cherish yourself. Treat and spoil yourself. Tell compliments. Talk respectfully and lovingly to yourself. Be your own best friend. This is your inner job and no one else's.
As a matter of fact, if you feel very needy, and don't love yourself, you won't be attractive to an emotionally strong person anyway, because to them relationship with a needy person would feel like a stone on the neck.
Partnership is for enjoyment and pure fun of connection, not for validating and fulfilling us.