Please, somebody say something to get rid of this thought

To clarify for anyone unfamiliar with my story, my connection and I have never actually been together as a couple nor even acknowledged verbally the connection between us. However, everything taken together (as far as my perceptions, intuitions, the way he seems to be when we're talking on the phone or actually in person) makes me believe that I am not mistaken about the connection and overall I am definitely inclined to believe that he feels it too, even if he's not at the level I am yet in the way he thinks about it/recognizes it.

So after several months of no contact, things have picked up recently, and as I've posted overall I have been feeling very positive and pretty content with a sense I have that things are about to move ahead.

There's only one little problem at this point - every now and again, I run up against something I see on line - some photos, a comment he posts somewhere, something he links to, things of that nature, that make think that there's actually a fairly good chance he's gay.

I had convinced myself that I was being ridiculous and that I HAD to trust myself that what I feel is at least somewhat reciprocated, but I've never come across anything that gives me ANY independent evidence he isn't gay. And tonight, it happened again - I found something that when I sort of followed the electronic yellow brick road, took me back to the fact that the only actual evidence (independent of my perceptions) I have regarding his sexual orientation all piles up on the side of him being completely, wholly and forever uninterested in women.

Please, nobody take this to mean I have a problem with gays -nothing could be further than the truth. But if he is gay, this would be the most absolute and final thing (except death) in regards to it being a CERTAINTY that we will never be together. And it would mean that other than the fact that he exists, the oh-so-real vision I had of us being together was nothing but a hallucination, and everything I thought I sensed from him was not there at all, and if THOSE things are actually true then it means that I can't trust myself at all.

And even knowing how heartbroken I'm going to be in regards to knowing I'll never be with him (if it turns out I'm right), it would make it much, much worse to know I can never trust ME and what I believe I know again.

From my experience people tend to see gay in many guys that simply are not. That said it is very hard to given an opinion of any kind if you don't give some examples as to the the kind of things that makes you think he might be gay. What kind of photos? posts? links?

[Smiler]

Hey

Sometimes we have the biggest loving connections to one significant other .. for a very very special reason.. to grow in our selves :)
The love may arise in the form of a thought singulary of a future relationship with him.. because you had a deep past life one... for example :)
Trust yourself.. Let go and accept what is and what will be in your life.
trying to mentally work it out ..does not solve connections .. acceptance does.

Hey you never know what or who is around the corner :)

Trust the connection .. is a learning for YOU Ay :)

Blessings
:)

[Nymphea]

The mistake many people make (in my opinion) is to think that twinflames always must have a romantic relationship. I think twinrelationship always end up in an romantic connection, but in the end, which can be many lives from now...
You say that your TF is not as far as you are. We all have to grow, some more than others, but we all do. Maybe this belongs to his life path, to experience gay love (I don't say he IS). I believe we all reincarnate a lot of times, sometimes as a man and sometimes as a woman. The soul wants to collect as much experiences as possible because that's the way it grows and evolves. So what you describe about him, can be part of this. That's pretty sour, I can understand. But maybe you just have to be very good friends in this life. And in a next life you perhaps will come together as a couple.

[mystical]

maybe ur just picking up on the feminine aspect of him???? or maybe he too is confused about how he feels , i know i grew up confused about my sexuality and i have never even been with a woman , but i was drawn to them and have many gay friends but now i look back and i see that i was attracted to certain qualities within them doenst mean im gay or bi i can really understand what u said about if it is true then not being able to trust yourself , i have a big issue wiht this i preahc to everyone else bout trust esp as im a emdium also , but if i see things and they are wrong then how can i ever be able trust myself when giving messages,

Originally Posted by Conaeolos

From my experience people tend to see gay in many guys that simply are not. That said it is very hard to given an opinion of any kind if you don't give some examples as to the the kind of things that makes you think he might be gay. What kind of photos? posts? links?

The thing is I was really TRYING to be vague, because I guess I do worry sometimes that he might find these forums someday.

Let me clarify first that it is nothing about his manner or the way he speaks or dresses; that type of thing definitely can lead to false conclusions.

Re: the photos - they're perfectly normal - it's just that of all the photos I've found of him online, he's never with a woman, and when there is another guy in them it's almost always the same guy, and they always have their arms around each other.

The posts I'd have to be too specific on if they were going to make any sense. It's not like they actually say anything about him, it's just what he said in them and the fact that he said it.

There's one other thing, something I didn't mention, but it's maybe the biggest thing in a way. One day I was having a conversation with my boss, but not really so much a conversation as just a string of random comments coming up in relation to files we were dealing with and clients that were coming in. Just office chatter, basically. Well, my connection's name came up, and then another client called in (a client that we know is gay) and I don't want to get specific, but my boss said something about gay guys in general (not negative in any way) and given the context of the last few minutes, it seemed to me he meant that comment to apply to my connection as well as the client that had just called. I kind of brushed it off at the time, but it's really that comment that made start to notice this other stuff.

That and I suppose a bit of ego, as it would actually be easier in a way for me to know that it was him being gay that was stopping us from being together instead of just having to face the fact that he likes women just fine, but just doesn't like ME.

Sorry, but that's about all I can do in the way of more details...

Oh, and one more thing, even more vague...of his FB friends, an oddly high percentage (in my opinion) of his friends are women.

Originally Posted by Smiler

Hey

Sometimes we have the biggest loving connections to one significant other .. for a very very special reason.. to grow in our selves :)
The love may arise in the form of a thought singulary of a future relationship with him.. because you had a deep past life one... for example :)
Trust yourself.. Let go and accept what is and what will be in your life.
trying to mentally work it out ..does not solve connections .. acceptance does.

Hey you never know what or who is around the corner :)

Trust the connection .. is a learning for YOU Ay :)

Blessings
:)

Thanks, Smiler. I know you're right...it's just doubly confusing because in the vision I originally had of him, well before I ever knew he existed, we were definitely romantically involved. And it wasn't something from a past life; part of it took place at my office.

Also, I just feel like if he IS gay, then you know that is something that would definitely be a finality, and I could stop hoping for this. It's just maddening cause I'd gotten to such a good place with this...but then yet another one of these little clues popped up and I just hate the idea of being so foolish as to keep fantasizing about someone when there is NO chance he'll ever return my feelings.

This is why I swore I was going to stop looking on the Internet about him...but I'm sure everyone here knows what it's like to yearn for ANY type of contact, no matter how one-sided or meaningless.

Originally Posted by chartreuse

The thing is I was really TRYING to be vague, because I guess I do worry sometimes that he might find these forums someday.

Let me clarify first that it is nothing about his manner or the way he speaks or dresses; that type of thing definitely can lead to false conclusions.

Re: the photos - they're perfectly normal - it's just that of all the photos I've found of him online, he's never with a woman, and when there is another guy in them it's almost always the same guy, and they always have their arms around each other.

The posts I'd have to be too specific on if they were going to make any sense. It's not like they actually say anything about him, it's just what he said in them and the fact that he said it.

There's one other thing, something I didn't mention, but it's maybe the biggest thing in a way. One day I was having a conversation with my boss, but not really so much a conversation as just a string of random comments coming up in relation to files we were dealing with and clients that were coming in. Just office chatter, basically. Well, my connection's name came up, and then another client called in (a client that we know is gay) and I don't want to get specific, but my boss said something about gay guys in general (not negative in any way) and given the context of the last few minutes, it seemed to me he meant that comment to apply to my connection as well as the client that had just called. I kind of brushed it off at the time, but it's really that comment that made start to notice this other stuff.

That and I suppose a bit of ego, as it would actually be easier in a way for me to know that it was him being gay that was stopping us from being together instead of just having to face the fact that he likes women just fine, but just doesn't like ME.

Sorry, but that's about all I can do in the way of more details...

Oh, and one more thing, even more vague...of his FB friends, an oddly high percentage (in my opinion) of his friends are women.

I can't worry anymore about this, I think she has so it seems that is the end of that

chatreuse

sorry to hear of this development, though at the moment, you could argue that you have taken a bunch of information and formed a picture of what is

now sometimes it does work like that but there are many instances in life and in these situations, where something looks one way and is in fact the total opposite

not trying to patronise your experience here or deny, the causal information that seems to indicate something but, how frequently in these situations does it all come from supposition

Hi Dharma - you're absolutely right, the tiny little "facts" I have could mean something else entirely or nothing at all. And don't worry, I certainly don't take what you said as being patronizing.

It just seems like every time I successfully put this possibility out of my mind, something else comes up.

And now I'm teetering on the edge of whole downward spiral because regardless of whether he's gay or not, here are some more facts:

1. Not one time has he ever asked me a personal question, such as about my living/dating situation, or how old I am (or tried to find that out in a roundabout way if he didn't think he should ask directly) or even just if I had plans for the weekend. (Okay, I haven't asked him any personal questions either but that's not the point right now.)

2. I am listed in the frickin' phone book that's been out for some time now. He also, duh, knows where I work. I have his information too, but I can't just contact a client for a personal reason. I don't really see how there would be anything stopping him though from contacting me if he actually wanted contact. I'm very good at spinning stories in my head as to why he hasn't contacted me, but really, they're just stories based on nothing whatsoever.

Bottom line is that I have absolutely nothing explicit I can point to in his behavior that would even indicate he thinks about me at ALL when he's not actually forced to interact with me.

I really hate this. I was doing SO well, and maybe it was foolish to believe I was past the worst of this but I did believe it, but now I just want to cry but I can't because I'm at work.

Someone already mentioned this, but being twin flames doesn't mean you're meant to be together. In actuality, it's quite unlikely. Being together romantically as twin flames is a very huge, difficult thing considering your mission as twin flames has nothing to do with an earthly, romantic love. You both need to be 100% ready and have no baggage with you. Anything, even the tiniest thing can completely throw off your reunion and your mission here together.

I don't mean to sound cold, but that truly is the case. I'm experiencing the transition between wanting so badly to be with my twin flame and accepting the fact that we just aren't ready yet.

On a lighter note, everything happens the way it does for a reason. As someone said, the lesson in meeting this person may not be to start a romantic relationship, but instead to grow within yourself. We may never know in the moment, but we will always find out. Much love and light to you, I know that times like this are very difficult to deal with.

But you know, if you have such a deep connection with him, what's wrong with just straight up asking him if he is or not?