How does one really Fall out of Love with Someone ?

[girlsearching]

I was just carious because I never really understood the meaning. For instance my parents don't love each other anymore. They were never married to each other to begin with but still I'm sure prior to when I was born they had some feelings for each other. Why do people fall out of love with their significant other is it because there is no chemistry anymore?. Is falling in love with someone else considered cheating in a way without having a physical affair with them? If people are married in their relationships than why do they seek extra affairs from outside of the relationship to begin with?. Instead of falling out of love with your significant other why can’t they try to rekindle the relationship instead of trying to peruse a new one? Wouldn’t that be better for both partners in the end?. I know that I visit the twin soul and soul mate thread sections on the forum and it’s a common topic that I have read regarding being in a committed relationship with your spouse but than your twinsoul comes along so they are grappling with their hearts. I don’t think I could deal with my future partner telling me that they have fallen out of love with me. I would be heartbroken and wonder what I could have done to cause him to not love me like he used to.

I would appreciate any thoughts thank you.

[kris]

Love comes in different stripes. There is romantic love and there is non-romantic love. The second kind is easier to deal with. I fell in love with my daughter when she was born and I could never fall out of love for her. I love her without any self-interest.

Romantic love is a mixed bag. I think it is more misunderstood than most of our other emotions. It rarely comes without self-interest. Most common form in which self-interest manifests is lust. Lust is fickle and changeable. But it easily gets mistaken for love. I think those who fall out of love were never in love in the first place.

[girlsearching]

Originally Posted by kris

Love comes in different stripes. There is romantic love and there is non-romantic love. The second kind is easier to deal with. I fell in love with my daughter when she was born and I could never fall out of love for her. I love her without any self-interest.

Romantic love is a mixed bag. I think it is more misunderstood than most of our other emotions. It rarely comes without self-interest. Most common form in which self-interest manifests is lust. Lust is fickle and changeable. But it easily gets mistaken for love. I think those who fall out of love were never in love in the first place.

I like the second kind of love the sisterly-brotherly-family love that you have for friends and family members. I think you are right about the lustful part it is hard to deal with it.

Lust is fickle and changeable. But it easily gets mistaken for love. I think those who fall out of love were never in love in the first place

I have to agree, True Love never dies.

[Miss Hepburn]

Ya get hurt enuff you can stop loving someone.
True love never dies...it gets killed.
Then, the love transforms to wishing them well, feeling 'what a shame...'
"But, stay the heck away from me...you crazy ____...."

Self preservation prevails.

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Ya get hurt enuff you can stop loving someone.
True love never dies...it gets killed.
Then, the love transforms to wishing them well, feeling 'what a shame...'
"But, stay the heck away from me...you crazy ____...."

Self preservation prevails.

That is so~~ true.

[Celera]

I agree with Miss Hepburn.

Being "in love" is an emotional state, and like any emotional state it can change. It can be woven together with respect and forgiveness and affection and gratitude. Or it can be drowned out by anger and fear and hurt and mistrust.

Why do you think people invented marriage, with vows in front of God and everyone? If people just stayed in love forever the vows would not be necessary. :) Feelings wax and wane. Respect, forgiveness, selflessness -- these are choices. When you make the right choices, the feelings tend to hold up better.

I still have some feelings for my ex, but there were so many years of such deep problems that in the end we couldn't build a life together.

[girlsearching]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Ya get hurt enuff you can stop loving someone.
True love never dies...it gets killed.
Then, the love transforms to wishing them well, feeling 'what a shame...'
"But, stay the heck away from me...you crazy ____...."

Self preservation prevails.

Miss Hepburn lol that made my day thank you for that.

[girlsearching]

Originally Posted by Celera

I agree with Miss Hepburn.

Being "in love" is an emotional state, and like any emotional state it can change. It can be woven together with respect and forgiveness and affection and gratitude. Or it can be drowned out by anger and fear and hurt and mistrust.

Why do you think people invented marriage, with vows in front of God and everyone? If people just stayed in love forever the vows would not be necessary. :) Feelings wax and wane. Respect, forgiveness, selflessness -- these are choices. When you make the right choices, the feelings tend to hold up better.

I still have some feelings for my ex, but there were so many years of such deep problems that in the end we couldn't build a life together.

I think my parents don't really have feelings for each other anymore. they still can't really talk on a civilized base sometimes. There is alot of secrets and hurt between them.

[girlsearching]

Originally Posted by primrose

Lust is fickle and changeable. But it easily gets mistaken for love. I think those who fall out of love were never in love in the first place

I have to agree, True Love never dies.

I hope it's a eternal love that will be everlasting.