not sure if i even want to see him again

i just feel really confused all over the place. i want this whole thing to go away and i'm not sure if i even want to reuinte with this person. but on the other hand, i feel like if i ever saw him again (it's been months) i would just turn into a pile of goo and i would be lost in this sea of SC **** all over again. the last time i saw him i felt like i got kicked in the stomach and tripped and got the wind knocked out of me all at the same time, and it looked like he had a similar reaction. but i just want it all to stop. i don't even think i would want to reunite with this person because we have very different lifestyles, different goals, values, etc. our lives just don't...match up. i also feel embarassed because it's been a year and a half and i still think about him everyday. we only hung out for 3 weeks...we didn't even technically date. i'm also embarassed because he has seen me look my worst and facebook doesn't help when we have mutual friends and he can see my pictures through that...i know that's my ego and insecurities getting the best of me but i can't help it. if it's meant to be then please make it happen, but if it's not then please make it go away. please, i'm just so exhausted of thinking about this person all the time. i know it's irrelevant but he is living his life, dating people and getting on fine. and here i am, trying to get through school and feeling stupid because a year and a half later i'm still not over a guy i knew for 3 weeks. 3 weeks is all it took to completely change my life and the way i look at things.
i'm just done with it and i want it to stop please.

I can't make it stop, but I can send you truck loads of big, warm, hugs to help you ride it through.

Try not to beat up on yourself?

You never know what wonderful, magical, unexpected events might be hiding just around the next corner....possibly even him.

And, as hard as you're being on yourself, have you considered that he just might be going through the exact same internal pain and conflicts that you are, agonizing over you as much as you've been over him?

Sometimes, guys can be so much better at hiding behind a mask and putting on a devil-may-care face than we are.

Hugs
MorningMist

thanks mist :) this really helped alot. and you're right, i.am beating myself up. i've always been very critical of myself so i guess that's just one of the many things i have to work. and you are also right about the fact that he may be going through the same thing. but who knows? i think that is what is hardest about these connectiin. we are at a loss for so many answers on things that we have no way of knowing for sure.

an interesting point though...i went to a psychic fair in november and the medium yold me that someone very important was going to come back into my life. she said that this woould happen right before i was set to travel away from home, and this person would cause an emotiinal upheaval and make me not want to leave. and its funny bc just recently i started looking for jobs out of state and at the time of the reading i had no intention of leaving...

If there is one thing I have gained from my SC is that in another's eyes I am perfect - with all my imperfections :)

[twinkle77]

Originally Posted by Loving_Soul

If there is one thing I have gained from my SC is that in another's eyes I am perfect - with all my imperfections :)

Omg - on facebook i just posted this quote..what a sync!

Love means that you accept a person with all their failures, stupidities, ugly points, and nonetheless, you see perfection in imperfection itself.

I'm gonna take this as a sign for me

[twinkle77]

Originally Posted by Loving_Soul

If there is one thing I have gained from my SC is that in another's eyes I am perfect - with all my imperfections :)

Omg - on facebook i just posted this quote..what a sync!

Love means that you accept a person with all their failures, stupidities, ugly points, and nonetheless, you see perfection in imperfection itself.

I'm gonna take this as a sign for me

Originally Posted by lennonsdoll

thanks mist :) this really helped alot. and you're right, i.am beating myself up. i've always been very critical of myself so i guess that's just one of the many things i have to work. and you are also right about the fact that he may be going through the same thing. but who knows? i think that is what is hardest about these connectiin. we are at a loss for so many answers on things that we have no way of knowing for sure.

an interesting point though...i went to a psychic fair in november and the medium yold me that someone very important was going to come back into my life. she said that this woould happen right before i was set to travel away from home, and this person would cause an emotiinal upheaval and make me not want to leave. and its funny bc just recently i started looking for jobs out of state and at the time of the reading i had no intention of leaving...

You're most welcome - and wow about the psychic reading!

I look forward to the day you give us the happy update that I'm sure is going to happen :)

Big Hugs
MorningMist

Originally Posted by twinkle77

Omg - on facebook i just posted this quote..what a sync!

Love means that you accept a person with all their failures, stupidities, ugly points, and nonetheless, you see perfection in imperfection itself.

I'm gonna take this as a sign for me

Lol Twinkle how cool is that huh :) xo