Let Me Share You My Story

[MOLA]

Hello SF.

This time around, instead of asking a question (which I usually do), I would like to tell you my story which I have experienced for the last two and a half months. If you look at the threads in this section, you would see that I have created a thread on Long Distance around two and a half months ago. This thread is related to such thread, but this time I would like to tell you my story.

The purpose of me telling my story is simply for the sake of sharing. If you have experienced similar experiences, please feel free to share yours too. If you have any advice, or any other loving comments for me and my experience, I welcome it with an open heart.

Here goes! This will be quite a bit of a read so its better if you read this while sipping on your coffee, hot tea, or whatever kind of drink that suits you for reading. :)

On May 20th, 2015; two months and half ago, I made the major change of moving countries to start a new life. The plan was to build my life over from scratch. I was planning on moving with my then girlfriend.

Prior to May 20th, a couple of months ago to be exact, I was granted a visa to move and start my life from anew, but my girlfriend was not granted. Crushed by this result, I was consumed with emotion of desperation and refused to give up on her visa. A month after she was declined, I had her try again, only to be refused again..and again. That makes three.

Knowing the anymore reckless decisions would not only bite me and my girlfriend, my parents and her parents both have insisted that I wait several months before going on another attempt.

This sad but true fact and truth did nothing for us except devastated us with the fact that we'll have to deal with long distance relationships, when we never experienced it before. At least not halfway across the globe. Different cities? Not a problem.

I made the decision to propose to her to be engaged and here we are now engaged but forced to separate in our early days of engagement. Then, on my last days with her, I asked her what she wanted to do that she has never done before. We made a list. We went to places she's never went to basically.

On that faithful day, we were separated. I could see tears gushing from her eyes and this devastated me on my 21hour flight. The stress, the devastation, and the fact that I have to deal with this for the next 4 months made everything seem so dark and cruel. And it was.

I spent my days only with my family and to communicate with her whenever we can. I had to sacrifice sleep time just so that we are able to communicate with one another as we used to be, trying to keep things as normal as we could possibly can. Things did go normal as they were until about a month and half into the long distance, things started changing.

She started despairing how much she misses me. She started feeling the effects of the long distance, which was quite understandable. She used to have me by her side all the time - we never really separated before physically before this, so this was a hard test for us. I kept reminding her, to use that longing feeling she has for me and to dump it out all for when she attempts for another visa. I believed this was a test and for her to be granted a visa, we would need to be separated.

Granted, my fiancee isn't as strong as I am, physically, mentally and spiritually. Whatever she did was wrong, I was there to correct it. Whatever she couldn't do, I could do. She never really had to grow strong. Until now.

She did grow strong, and to my surprise, she's grown so strong that at times it seems like she hasn't missed me one bit. It seems like she's just waiting time to pass so that she could finally confirm that she will never get her visa. (Everytime she was so negative of the fact, we ended up in an argument because I didn't want her to be negative) I get it, she's scared, I'm hopeful and I'm trying to keep things as positive as I can. No point in dumping energy to a result you didn't want?

Now, August 5th, 2015, two months and a half later, many things have changed. We don't talk as much as we can on the phone as we used to, but we still communicate every day, on a minute by minute basis. How she talks to me resembles that of a hateful person - she's angry at me for having to leave her. She says she understands why I went ahead (I had no choice because of a decision made by my parent) but I could tell she's not accepting of it.

On September 1, 2015 a month from now, she will attempt to get her visa. The closer we get, the more afraid she is. I could feel her fears halfway across the world and sometimes when I wake up from bed, I thought she was next to me in bed. All I could do here from now on until then is to pray, to be as positive as I can in the hopes of raising my vibration hopefully to play a part in the result and to wait until that day comes.

Should she get her visa, I'll be jumping like a joy. Should she get it refused again, I never thought about it. It won't be pretty.

That's my story. Sorry for the long read. Any encouraging comments of anything of the sort is openly welcomed. I am staying strong for our sakes.