My story: She probably was not my TF, but...

Maybe I am wrong
I met her and thought she was my TF. Now I think she is not. Due to work we will spend a huge amount of time together just the two of us (we have already started), and I fear this TF-thing might not be over yet. While talking to a good friend in phone, I was telling my friend: “if she (the one i thought was my tf) starts to hit on me, I will probably not fall for her.” And I really felt it that way - right there and then. At this moment i suddenly felt as if she (the TF that is not my TF) was listening. I got this wired feeling where I irrationally thought her phone was hooked up to our conversation, and she was listening to it all. It was as if I was talking to my friend AND her. I really had to stop for a moment and think about how the technology works to eliminate my suspicion. Did she listen telepathically and subconsciously? Maybe it triggers her to subconsciously counter-act my decision. I have dropped my interest in her, because I learnt things about her that was a huge stop-signal to me out of respect, but, also; another thing happened (before my weird phone-call) that actually decrease the existence of the stop-signal. It is as if “the universe has tilted the situation”, because what happened is beyond will-power (I can not say what it is). I fear this is not over.

Meeting her
When I met her, months ago when this started, I experienced psychic events in my mind (explained below), and the situation and her behavior all signified to my mind she had a similar interest in me. The psychic events in my mind happened in absence of my ego but weeks later my ego started to come back. I became very “high” on the whole situation. As soon as I started to doubt her I almost always started to hear and see her name everywhere, often several times a day.

Dropping my interest in her
She later let me know something that dramatically changed my interest in her. It was a huge stop-signal for any respectful person. Now, afterwards, I felt so stupid for having had this idea about her being my TF. I often felt she was speaking in between the lines to disclose her interest to me, and it now all seems to be my misinterpretations. Maybe she did not even have any interest at all during all this time (a few months). Maybe my psychic experiences was isolated to my mind. I was shocked, but it was easy to release her in my mind (have released many things and people earlier in my life). I felt a little sad, but my sadness could not be compared to the deep love I felt for her because I know she is going to live the life she wants. Actually it was a relief to release her in my mind. "Sure, i can find other 'special' girls, even if it feels otherwise right now. She is not the only one. Been here before. I will forget her." - That currently is my line of reasoning.

Psychic events
I’m done with all this but a few things makes me fear this might not end at all. My strange experiences with her all started like this: Coincidences had brought us together, and at the time I reflected it felt as if a greater power influenced it so that we could have a conversation. In the conversation we shared a moment of excitement and eye-contact. I suddenly felt as if a string was pulled in my stomach. “That must have been a sexual reaction!” I thought with a little surprise. I had absolutely no such interest in her. In the excitement she disclosed she felt a rush of energy. Two days later - not having thought much about her - I wake up in the middle of the night as usual, but now she was “visiting” me. Ideas of her wanting intimacy invaded my mind. I was stunned as I did not want it or her. I did think about it just to have it go away so I could sleep. I was actually in a general state of deep meditation and was about to continue with that. Attachments to intimacy was not my thing. The next night she returned with greater force. She, or this force, was really begging me to accept her. I asked myself what to do and the only idea I got was to accept it all (I actually met my non-physical guide at this time - had never experienced or believed in this guide-concept earlier either - and she also told me to accept, and just smiling at me).

The mental images was slightly sexual but with very deep feelings of intimacy. Not something I normally, if ever, entertain my fantasy with. I did accept it all, and things that my primitive male brain could never have imagined started to happen. I experienced the deepest emotions of intimacy, respect, care and love. My stomach was like a Jacuzzi filled with sparkling champagne alongside experiences of mental images of intimacy with her. I felt as if the mental images came from the outside and was not mine (i know the difference when i create something in my mind because of my own desire). I accepted it all and returned my unconditional love. It was as if i felt her soul, and it felt as if her soul was merging with mine. (Earlier I have never paid much attention to the soul-concept.). It was a deep heeling sensation. I thought it was some kind of telepathy and it felt like so (never believed in that concept either prior to this). Merging: That was the only explanation i got in my head when i was experiencing all this. I could feel my sexual energy going from the genital area up to my stomach to aid this process. I also felt “I am not alone any more”. And some times I also felt as her ego was inside my head looking at me (located at the top left of my head). All this happened in a mental state where my ego was very weak. There was no way i could believe this was make-believe. This continued for some nights. This was what was starting my thoughts about her being a TF.

By the way
Years earlier I had, only very lightly, read about TF-concept and thought it was the silliest idea I had ever heard of. But this event made me more humble.

One or two months earlier, before all this, I had some kind of ego-death-experience.

I seem to mainly experience this spontaneously through the second chakra, but I have also, out of my own intention, meditated and succeeded with the heart-chakra in relation to her, but maybe it was imagination as my own intention initiated it. Anyway it felt as if she responded through the heart-chakra with love.

Thanks for reading!

[gypsymystique]

It could be a regular soul connection that is not twin flame. I have had intense experiences like that with soul mates. It's hard to tell.

have been thinking along the same lines and it is good because it then is easier to just accept the strange events instead of trying to decide between disproving or approving them.

"My stomach was like a Jacuzzi filled with sparkling champagne alongside experiences of mental images of intimacy with her" - best description yet!

Enjoy the ride!

It is a blessing and a gift.

Talk back to her when she contacts you telepathically. Reassure her she is not crazy for feeling as she does.

It is meant to be. Do night fight it.

-rosepetals516

Originally Posted by DeepForest

Maybe I am wrong
I met her and thought she was my TF. Now I think she is not. Due to work we will spend a huge amount of time together just the two of us (we have already started), and I fear this TF-thing might not be over yet. While talking to a good friend in phone, I was telling my friend: “if she (the one i thought was my tf) starts to hit on me, I will probably not fall for her.” And I really felt it that way - right there and then. At this moment i suddenly felt as if she (the TF that is not my TF) was listening. I got this wired feeling where I irrationally thought her phone was hooked up to our conversation, and she was listening to it all. It was as if I was talking to my friend AND her. I really had to stop for a moment and think about how the technology works to eliminate my suspicion. Did she listen telepathically and subconsciously? Maybe it triggers her to subconsciously counter-act my decision. I have dropped my interest in her, because I learnt things about her that was a huge stop-signal to me out of respect, but, also; another thing happened (before my weird phone-call) that actually decrease the existence of the stop-signal. It is as if “the universe has tilted the situation”, because what happened is beyond will-power (I can not say what it is). I fear this is not over.

Glad you posted this. Many of us including myself miss this fact. If this person is a TF than they are picking up your energy, thoughts and feelings even if they are unaware of it (reason you can never lie to your twin since they'll know even if you think its impossible). So when you have a TF in a separation period your doubts,fears, ect are received on their end even if they are only picking them up subconsciously (especially true for those that aren't spiritually awake). So in turn they are going to feel and mirror your doubts,fears ,ect which is why you need to work on sending the right energy to the universe and your twin to break this negative feedback loop.

[Teal]

Thank you for sharing. :). It seems to me that you just KNOW about the other. But since we are all human and there is so much going on in life. You just aren't sure what to believe. meaning whether you created the thought or if it really came to you.
You also want to be brutally honest with this person. You want to spill everything. There is something welcoming and you feel there would be no judgement.

I totally agree with bl.That being said
it can be confusing times

I see that you get to spend some more time with her. you have excepted THIS lol
good now just enjoy it for a moment you can analyze and dissect it in a bit.

[John Elessar]

DeepForest, your story could be mine (I think we discovered this awhile back, if you are the poster I am thinking of). Yes, mine is also a co-worker, but I simply came to a simple realization: she is in a different place than I am right now, and this is clear whenever we're on the phone and she is detailing the various litanies and purgatories of her life, and I'll tell her that she needs to find the Source of Joy which lies within herself, that which is not ultimately subject to outside factors. Her responses always indicate that she simply can't grasp that perspective (yet). As detailed elsewhere, my making this crucial discovery about myself kept me from totally going off the deep end with respect to her presence in my life.

Like you I also experienced some weird events in relation to her-the most notable of which involved a blue jay trying to get into her room through the window, and me giving her a blue jay doll that I had literally rediscovered at the bottom of an old box 3 days earlier.

She's started flirting with me at work again, but (so far-fingers crossed) I've successfully resisted her charms (it isn't easy though). I now have a date with someone else who apparently is much more on my wavelength (tho we shall see).

I am so glad for all your replies. I actually summarized the points from you all in a short list to have in my phone to remind me. I have put down my resistance as much as i can and have returned love, acceptance and assurance whenever she enters my mind. I have not chased her with my mind but she enters my thoughts spontaneously.

I realized a physical relationship with her is not a goal in itself, but she - her energy - is actually part of my spiritual path and practice.

My mind has both been high on her and rejected her, but still there is a deeper internal
process that has always been active whatever my mind has done. It is like a channel or well
and just out of the blue or once i let my thoughts go free, then my thoughts often bring her up and i feel like a stream of sensations
coming through as energy in my stomach-area and my mind enters a state of love. (describing this process with words makes it look very clear cut but its not).

I just realized i have to 'live through the stomach' instead of the head. My head is doing
the confusion and speculations about the future. My stomach just wraps everything in love and relaxes into the current moment without desiring things.. To live through the stomach is to let the attention reside in the sensations happening there. It results in deeper relaxation and increases my unconditional love. It also feels like i am then doing the work that this whole situation has assigned me but that i have not earlier understood. It feels like a way to meet a kind of spiritual demand.