I'm so bewildered and discouraged

AFGE = Another F**king Growth Experience. When my attitude and outlook changed to come more in line with that of Spirit, my whole world changed.

I love this!! :) I really need to remember that - maybe make it my new mantra, lol!! That's perfect - thanks for sharing that :)

[Sarian]

Originally Posted by Saggi

Hi Sarian,

I've highlighted the words above cos they jumped right out when I read them,,,

The favourite place is the place that feels comfortable, the place that is always there, this tends to be a place where no matter what happens in life it's always the last stop,,,

I know this place, although, mine probably looks slightly different to yours, yet the feelings I experience are probably the same as the ones you do!

It's the unknown place that causes the stress, not the favourite place,,,

What's your unknown?


You don't have to answer this here, just think about it,,,

If anything it'll give you something else to think about

Love and hugs

Jo

XxXx

Hi Jo! I'm still working my way down. I'm taking a few minutes to reply to more, then I have to take a test for an online course I have been putting off. Ugh. My favorite places are always in nature, or most often, sometimes I've found a calm/peace fill me at a particular place, a building, a porch, whatever. My favorite place is about a 25 minute drive from my house. For whatever reason, peace washes over me most times like a beautiful shower of love and insight and gratitude.

I am thinking about the unknown places. I'm not really sure what you mean, a place that causes upheavel or an unsettled feeling with me? I do get those. Be it just a house or a small spot, but sometimes whole cities give me ill feelings. Where i used to attend college I would get sick to my stomach and full of anxiety the closer I got to that city. It's a beautiful resort-like city but I felt so much negative energies it was very hard for me to be there, even if just to stroll through. I recently heard that a man with much money and lacking in values/morals owned much of the area and developments he put up, and invested heavily into my old college. I wondered if I could feel the negative energy from his contributions?

[Sarian]

Originally Posted by Jason72

Have you tried a Medical Intuitive Healer?

Sounds like you may have a Spirit or Entity attached to you?

I would highly recommend a healing from a Spiritual Entity Healer..!

It may cost you around $200 but it’s definitely worth it.

I know because I have had several entities attached to myself, I know exactly what it feels like. This man below has removed all of them from me.

Here is a link to a professional Spiritual healer. This guy is no hoax, he is the real thing! He does it over the phone anywhere in the world. Distance is nothing..!

http://www.martinknobel.com/

Hello, Jason, no I've never tried a medical intuitive healer. I've never heard of one for that matter. Is that like a telepathic healer though? Like John works in? I couldn't afford one to be honest, my funds are very limited sadly and I'm in the process of starting over and rebuilding a new life, but in the past few weeks had some major set backs, I'm sorry to say.

I honestly thought I could have entities attached to me. Just by some things that occur. Is that true or not, I really don't know. Thank you for the link, however. :-)

[Sarian]

Originally Posted by kindheart

There's no need to be ashamed of needing antidepressants or having used ECT. Have you ever considered doing ECT again? The ECT technology they have now is much better than it was over 10 years ago, as they can now better gage the amount of voltage to used based on the thickness of your skull and such. Most people now tolerate it very well, even better than the nasty side effects from antidepressants.

Although Vitamin D is good, as some suggested, it's been known to cancel out effects of antidepressants (if you are still on them). Vitamin B, on the other hand (especially B12 and folate), are also found to help with depression and make antidepressants more potent.

I do feel your pain, I've been in your position, and sometimes still struggle with some issues, although I do not have depression at the moment. I have had one before though, and it's so scary... It's paralyzing. I've been having a hard time with faith myself lately, so I feel a little hypocrite to mention this, but if you're spiritual, how about asking Archangels Raphael and Uriel for some help and guidance? You never know, maybe they would help you...

Hope you feel better soon dear xox

Hello, Kindheart, thank you for writing. I feel terrible that I'm taking so long to respond to everyone, but I am so grateful for all. Oh nooooo, noooo, nooo I won't have ECT done again. I told myself never, never ever again after the first time...I had it done outpatient and would go to work in between the days I had it done. I felt like I was inside a mirror looking out of it and couldn't get out. I didn't want to open my eyes again. The first session, was the only time I felt good, but it was in such a sick kind of way...loopy, lovey way, imagine "Oh...wow, I just looooooooooove you...I love everything....but it was nauseating and maybe like being on LSD, I don't know...I laughed a lot too. The subsequent sessions proved to be insidious. I even had a few days of horrible hallucinations. About 3 or 4 years later and in a horrible marriage, my husband found me curling up and crying and said "You want to die, don't you, you want to die." He kept saying that and I just cracked. I said yes and he took me to the hospital. Horrible, horrible time. they started with the ECT again and I remember one day an intern came in and he was the only one to finally listen to me after I screamed and tried to smash through the window to get out. I had a IV line in my hand, and still I tried to smash the window. I knew there was nothing really wrong with me and what they were doing to me in there was killing my spirit and making me sick. Have you had it done?

No, I'm not on anything. When I got out of the hospital (back in 2000) I threw all meds away and got rid of the shrink. Honestly, outside of getting too emotional and feeling things way to strongly, I've never felt better. But sometimes my emotions and negative thinking just get too strong. I've heard about the B12 and have some, I forget to take it regularly though.

I'm so sorry you've been in this place as well before. (((((HUGS)))))))) and thank you for your care and concern and advice.

[Sarian]

Originally Posted by psychoslice

Hi Sarian, there is nothing embarrassing about mental illness, is there anything embarrassing about heart disease or any other disease, of course not, the brain is like any other organ, it can also malfunction in whatever way causing all sorts of problems. I have schizophrenia myself and don't feel ashamed at all, in fact i feel sort special lol. I know what you are going through because I have been there also, in my case I came to a point where it was all too much, and in that frame of mind i just fell on my bed and gave up, I just gave up to life, and that is when life gave to me. In that moment just laying there I felt myself dissolve into all that there is, in this state i realized that i wasn't just this pain body organism just feeling like it wants to die, I was all that there IS. I felt like i was everything that there was. When I came back to myself, I just laughed and laughed, wow I thought, and from there all my emotional pain just left me, life was now worth living, in fact i never really knew life before this awakening. You are also everything that there IS, but I can't give you what I have experienced, you must yourself go within your whole Being and just let go, let go of all the rubbish that you have been feed, all the second-hand knowledge that was never yours, just let go. in this letting go just relax and let yourself go wherever it wants, don't try to go anywhere, but let yourself drift where it will, you don't need a map from anyone, the treasure is already within you, trust in your SELF and eventually you will find it, and like i did, you will see how simple it was, you will probably laugh your head off also like I did, but then you might not, everyone has their own story of their own individual awakening. But don't trying to be awakened, it wont happen, its when you give up completely, that anything will happen, and what happens will be your own experience, i look forward to hearing yours soon.

Hi psychoslice! did you paint that portrait of yourself? I'm thinking it's you. I think I saw a picture of you before. I do love your artwork. You are very talented.

I agree that there is nothing to be embarrassed about because we aren't ashamed of diabetes and other illnesses. But society does maintain a stigma over it, sadly. I know when I got into this particular college, they asked 101 different questions trying to fish out people they deemed might not be 'strong' enough...if you had any hint of depression, they wanted you to go to people and be evaluated further. I refused because I thought it none of their business quite honestly, and to this day, I think they used that against me as well and did what they did.

I'm actually quite proud and amazed that you acknowlege your schizophrenia. And I'm happy that you are doing well, despite having it. I once watched the most tragic story on America Undercover many years ago about a bright young woman who developed it, and it was a documentary of how it was consuming her. I met a woman once who I would have never thought was a schizophrenic but she was and we became good friends. She shared her life story with me. She was a bright and beautiful woman. Married a lawyer and she had 2 children. THey lived in Hawaii, but once she became 'ill', he abandoned her, but she also could not stay put and lived on the road, taking odd jobs here and there, mostly homeless. Once she got on medication, she stablized and is doing quite well. This shows how stigmatizing it is...my ex had a cousin with it, he took nothing for it and often went around claiming to be Jesus. Went to a wedding once and no one wanted to sit at his table, but I didn't mind. I found it sad that everyone ignored him, but he and I got along quite fabulously. I listened to everything he had to say. My heart broke at somethings yet I marveled at a lot of what he said that people simply would never listen or give any creedance to because of his illness, but I found amazingly insightful if not brilliant at times. Honestly, Pyslc I could see and understand how you could feel sort of special.

Your story of wanting to die and then realizing you were all there is, is amazing and thank you so much for sharing it. I've had many moments of seeking and desiring death and having to fight it. I've had some pivotal moments during many of those times as well. Amazing story. You have me remembering various times in my life when I have been at a crossroad and wanted nothing more than to die and when I didn't or when I stopped or when something caused me to stop, I had some amazing experiences. Why can't I remember those and stay with those times?

Thank you so much for your valuable insight. I appreciate that as well as your honestly.

[Sarian]

Originally Posted by krishna

Here for you.
Ask away.
Light and grace.
Krishna.

Thank you, Krishna.

Hi Mattie, I think it's from years of family finding fault with me. I've done things I probably shouldnt' have, but stuff happens. Married to a man who always found fault with me, calling me stupid, idiot, moron and those were the more gentler names. I know I have a lot of good about me though. I actually like the person I am in many ways. When negativity comes calling, then I think I'm nothing more than a horrible beastly thing.

I'm trying to master control of my thoughts. It's hard and it's something I have to do by the minute it seems. Very draining too.

Hi again, Star-child. Thanks for more advice. hey, got a thing in my email about a webinar tonight i'll be listening to and one person will be talking about EFT, so that will be interesting. Or maybe it was last night, but I have 24 hours to listen. I will try it in front of a mirror, thanks!

Starbuck, thank you for the website, I will check it out!

AFGE...Greyeyes, that's a good one. I'll have to remember that and it actually makes me feel better about the **** that goes on and I go through. Thanks! I really liked what you had to say. Makes sense. :-)