Hello all good peoples of SF.
Thought it was necessary to post this in the healing section, if it hasn't already been buried beneath layers of threads or elsewhere.
After returning from a recent 3 weeks away in New Zealand before Christmas, I came to the acknowledgement of one of my major flaws among numerous others which I have no doubt possibly affects a majority on this forum.
Even though 'Repetition Compulsion' takes on many forms from ones childhood into adulthood, it's widely categorized as a neurosis rather than a disorder or syndrome. And the only remedy may be lengthy therapy sessions.
In my case; I have sought help by a therapist to identify the causes relating to this matter as I have always had a 'Fear of Intimacy' which therefore I lack a certain degree of showing loving emotions to family, friends and relationships.
I am also concerned for the well-being of my twin, (if they too are reading this). I wish to deeply apologize a thousand fold over for the trauma I had put them through without them knowing the troubling cause of my behavior.
They didn't deserve my rejection,
but they do deserve my guidance!
I'm certain they too could be suffering under the same 'Repetition Compulsion' obviously in different circumstances.
If anyone can relate to this neurosis, or follow this
*article* to discover what other symptoms may be associated, Then I hope it helps you in some way.