Tormented by the same dreams

[Dargor]

So this is really wrecking my sleep... Every once in a while the same dream returns to me where I see my now deceased mother in great pain and about to die, and me trying to tell her how sorry I am and having a hard time saying my final words to her (this didn't happen in real life, I wasn't present when she died) usually when this happens those dreams become very vivid and emotional where I experience real sadness and grief for a brief moment before waking up, obviously in a not so good mood. Know this, I don't dwell in the past a lot and am way more concerned about my future so why those dreams keep showing up makes no sense to me. Losing my mother was hard (and it still is) but what worries me the most is what is yet to happen to me. Am I doing something wrong why I keep having those kind of dreams? Do I have them because I don't express enough emotions in my waking life? Or could those dreams be a sympton of slight PTSD? As far as I know I have no PTSD but maybe there is more stuff going on with me without me being aware of it. Either way, it may not kill me but obviously there are more fun things to do than dealing with this mess.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

there's an element of projection in your story, which serves to diffuse your
energy/attention across time. your experiences are present with you in the
now, and if you think of these energies as being currently active in your
field of awareness you may be able to address them more effectively.

an energy associated with the past is uncomfortable and distressing; an idea
for the future is to is to be engaged in "more fun things" and living joy.
the challenge becomes one of transforming the "past" energy (which is actually
present) into something more enjoyable. energy manipulations are within the
skill set of human-beings, so the task is certainly doable.

the means to transforming the grief energy probably involves "hearing it out"
and learning what it has to tell you [without your 'needy' attempts to soothe
it with comforting words]. you hadn't been afforded the opportunity to
express sorrow in real-time, and the words seem to fail you in dreams...
which points to your not needing to inform that energy of anything
[you are the one to be informed of something].

the issue appears to involve your receptivity and what you're willing to
allow for, and NOT a your active principle: what you do or express.

[Michelle11]

What kind of relationship did you have with your mother? Being present isn't the same as airing out your grievances and saying everything you needed to say. How does the dream make you feel, sad, guilty, to blame for something? It's possible that you still have unresolved guilt involving your mother. As much as we think we have put these things away if we never dealt with it, it stays in our energy field and can pop up later when something in life triggers us to feel it again. Or maybe you are in a lull moment and your soul sees it as a good time to bring the subject up. Whatever happened between your mother and you it is important that you forgive yourself for your part in it. Possibly you may feel like you didn't do enough to save her feeling somehow responsible for the pain she was in. It isn't true but that doesn't mean our psyche doesn't take on blame for things that are no our fault. I would say ask before you go to be for more clarity so you can get to the bottom of things and move past the emotional aspect of the dream and work on resolving the issue it raises.

An alternate interpretation could be that your mother represents your ability to give birth to new goals and plans. That part of you is in pain for some reason and you feel like you are to blame. Do you struggle to feel motivated? Have difficulty making plans and goals? Or do you start plans only to have the fall apart before you eyes? The dream could be indicating some block that needs to be resolved before you are able to move forward with any goals you have in mind.

[Dargor]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

there's an element of projection in your story, which serves to diffuse your
energy/attention across time. your experiences are present with you in the
now, and if you think of these energies as being currently active in your
field of awareness you may be able to address them more effectively.

an energy associated with the past is uncomfortable and distressing; an idea
for the future is to is to be engaged in "more fun things" and living joy.
the challenge becomes one of transforming the "past" energy (which is actually
present) into something more enjoyable. energy manipulations are within the
skill set of human-beings, so the task is certainly doable.

the means to transforming the grief energy probably involves "hearing it out"
and learning what it has to tell you [without your 'needy' attempts to soothe
it with comforting words]. you hadn't been afforded the opportunity to
express sorrow in real-time, and the words seem to fail you in dreams...
which points to your not needing to inform that energy of anything
[you are the one to be informed of something].

the issue appears to involve your receptivity and what you're willing to
allow for, and NOT a your active principle: what you do or express.

Thanks for the reply, although I'm not sure what to make of it as my knowledge about energy manipulation stuff is pretty much zero. You could be right but what are you saying, how am I supposed to be informed by energy that isn't driven by an intelligent force?

Originally Posted by Michelle11

What kind of relationship did you have with your mother? Being present isn't the same as airing out your grievances and saying everything you needed to say. How does the dream make you feel, sad, guilty, to blame for something? It's possible that you still have unresolved guilt involving your mother. As much as we think we have put these things away if we never dealt with it, it stays in our energy field and can pop up later when something in life triggers us to feel it again. Or maybe you are in a lull moment and your soul sees it as a good time to bring the subject up. Whatever happened between your mother and you it is important that you forgive yourself for your part in it. Possibly you may feel like you didn't do enough to save her feeling somehow responsible for the pain she was in. It isn't true but that doesn't mean our psyche doesn't take on blame for things that are no our fault. I would say ask before you go to be for more clarity so you can get to the bottom of things and move past the emotional aspect of the dream and work on resolving the issue it raises.

An alternate interpretation could be that your mother represents your ability to give birth to new goals and plans. That part of you is in pain for some reason and you feel like you are to blame. Do you struggle to feel motivated? Have difficulty making plans and goals? Or do you start plans only to have the fall apart before you eyes? The dream could be indicating some block that needs to be resolved before you are able to move forward with any goals you have in mind.

Well I had a difficult but stable relationship with my mother as we both had different personalities, opinions, etc which often let to endless arguing. Nonetheless we cared for each other and I was able to talk things through with her before she died (thank goodness) and thinking back I feel guilty about a lot of things, but the fact I was able to personally settle things with her before it was too late offers me some comfort, although that doesn't mean I wish I could've changed some things.

Your second interpretation could be right as well as I do have a single goal that matters everything to me, but I have a very hard time to reach it which sparkles a lot of negativity and feeds on my well-being.

[Michelle11]

As I have come to discover making peace with a parent isn't the same thing as bringing issues with us. Guilt can become a pervasive thing in our life carrying over into other areas and with other people. So the habits we develop because of our parents can affect how we interact with the world. My father was very authoritarian and critical which made me pretty mad at him to be honest. I kept it in because I was fairly programed to be respectful of adults but at one point in early adulthood I blew up at him and afterwards let him go. I made peace with who he was and his opinion and I felt liberated but time would come to show that I was conditioned so to be a conformer to what other people told me to do and my self esteem was pretty low because of my father's criticism. So though I have no beef with my father. I am probably the one person in the world who he doesn't bother, I still struggle with the issues he triggered in me. So both the guilt and the reasons why you are unable to make your dreams come to pass could possibly be caused by the relationship with your mother even if you made peace with her. Weeding this stuff out can be difficult because it becomes the fabric of who we are but the dream was a good start helping to give you clues about how the relationship affected you. Working with your dreams will help you go even father to healing it all.

When you have dreams of the deceased like this. Pray for them.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

SlayerOfLight: Thanks for the reply, although I'm not sure what to make of it as my knowledge about energy manipulation stuff is pretty much zero.
You could be right but what are you saying, how am I supposed to be informed by energy that isn't driven by an intelligent force?

imagine that you're a factory; you produce stuff.
you can make whatever you conceive of; anything you want.
you're hard wired to produce the things that seem to bring you happiness.
whatever the specific product is, the intention behind it is happiness.
you're given material to work with -- automatically.
no matter what energy you absorb, you attempt to transform it into
something pleasing and then you release it into the world.
this is energy manipulation.

there is a rule that whatever you put out into the cosmos will return to you.
all energy will bounce around until it finally returns to it's author.
for you to be "tormented" by the same energy repeatedly is simply saying
that you've yet to "process" that energy. to end the torment, receive the
energy lovingly, become informed by whatever information it provides to
you, and then shift it's makeup into something pleasing and release it
once more.
voilà.

[Dargor]

Originally Posted by Gracey

When you have dreams of the deceased like this. Pray for them.

Why'd you say that? Could you give me some insight?

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

imagine that you're a factory; you produce stuff.
you can make whatever you conceive of; anything you want.
you're hard wired to produce the things that seem to bring you happiness.
whatever the specific product is, the intention behind it is happiness.
you're given material to work with -- automatically.
no matter what energy you absorb, you attempt to transform it into
something pleasing and then you release it into the world.
this is energy manipulation.

there is a rule that whatever you put out into the cosmos will return to you.
all energy will bounce around until it finally returns to it's author.
for you to be "tormented" by the same energy repeatedly is simply saying
that you've yet to "process" that energy. to end the torment, receive the
energy lovingly, become informed by whatever information it provides to
you, and then shift it's makeup into something pleasing and release it
once more.
voilà.

I think I know (or I hope so at least) what you're trying to say. So in a non-spiritual way spoken, you're basically saying that if I cast my feelings and emotions away they're comming back to haunt me sooner or later? And you think I need to embrace them?

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

I think I know (or I hope so at least) what you're trying to say. So in a non-spiritual way spoken,
you're basically saying that if I cast my feelings and emotions away they're comming back to haunt me sooner or later?
And you think I need to embrace them?

yeah. you're a creator being and your creations don't simply evaporate
into nothingness, they return to you and inform you of their journeys.
some things that you make are of a temporary nature, and those will
become undone when they fulfill their purpose... your "true" creations
are permanent, and they might require a degree of perfecting by you
before you send them out again.

use love as a guide in your creative efforts, so that the energy you put
out will have that as it's basis (since it'll return to you by-and-by).

==
the gap (of time) between when we send out energy, and it returns to
us is narrowing. there may be some very old energies which are finally
coming home for us, and they may seem unrecognizable, or feel "stale",
but that doesn't mean that they're not ours. i suggest to allow them to
provide what information that they have and only retain what feels
appropriate about it -- let the remainder pass without molestation, so
that it can find it's actual source (a brother/sister creator).