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Originally Posted by ForgedInFire
Everyone has an attachment style. There are NO EXCEPTIONS. I find it interesting that some people got triggered and try to place my observation of others 'twin flame experience" as my "experience'. Well thats common when others question the blind followers of this twin flame cult religion. all that have anxious attachment style are the "chasers" you can even tell by their constant obsession of the other person and the endless why why why about the other person and "signs". The ones who are avoidant are the "runners". The cowards who avoid the other and give nothing but crumbs to keep them strung along on the backburner.
Even if that other person is actually a "twin flame" they still have an avoidant attachment style and sorry.. no pipe dream of "divine intervention" and false hope will change that for them. It is only IF that person actually wants to change will try to make those changes..but as long as all the anxious attachment women keep living the lie of being 'unconditionally loving" to mr avoidant.. things will never change with these women coddling those people like helpless children.
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It is unhelpful to call anyone a coward... I am glad that you started this thread but unhealthy attachment styles are so very often a product of parent/child attachment imprinting - often passed down intergenertionally.
It Is difficult to be a coward when you simply have no other point of reference other than love being unsafe and unsupportive in those early years when our instinctual behaviours are shaped around our environment.
These behaviours are unconscious coping mechanisms.
To heal one needs to learn self compassion which can be extremely challenging if one does not even have strong sense of self or a healthy model of nurturing to begin with.
Edit... I realise the coward comment was an example - not your thoughts... I think?! Lol.
Double edit: the diacotomy of anxious avoidance people is that they need feel safe to be able to learn healthy atrachment: they crave intimacy but have no idea what true intimacy feels or looks like because love to the avoidant looks like neglect and lack of support.
During childhood the avoidannt most likely had a lot of freedom and space due to neglect or took a lot of freedom and space due to fear from the threat of pain, dismissiveness, abuse and or rejection... And to navigate this nowhere land they had to develop a pseudo super independence which feels threatened when someone tries to get close.
Many people simply are not even aware of their attachment style... And the funny thing is that here on this forum this is actually one label which could actually help people to connect to that inner wholeness they seek and also create the kinds of balanced relationships they crave and perceive 'union' may be.
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