Hello hello :) sorry for a drainer of a question

Hiiii beautiful souls, my name is Mona :)
Me and technology aren't really friends so I'm a bit confused? Is this where I am meant to introduce myself? Haha sorry :)
Okay basically: Whether I have liked it or not I have been fairly spiritual, things seem to find me and happen around me all the time. What pushed me to join this and write here is my most recent thing or maybe things?
I have had this encounter with what I can only find to be an incubus but it doesn't fit most of the explanations. All though I have no control over these situations it isn't really violent, scary, no odour and I never see the form, it's all just feeling. Some times holding my hand, lying with me and even more intimate. It has happened whenever I have felt lonely or depressed and in more then one place, East coast Australia, West Coast Australia and even in Europe. Surprisingly things usually look up after this encounter besides feeling extremely drained and fatigued.
Ever since I was really little I thought this 26 year old "guidian angel" was following me everywhere, loving me and protecting me. I have only seen him in shadows and thats what I have been seeing recently.
I was also so petrified when I was little, even though I knew it or he wouldn't hurt me.
I'm ironically nearly 26 which was the age I would tell my family he passed away at...
I'm curious whether all of this is link? Lately I find my recycling rubbish being thrown (not aggressively) like a 1m or 2m across my apartment to get my attention. And losing stuff, looking a million times and it just appearing in reallllyyyy obvious place that I already looked at.
Last night I realised nothing that is happening is agressive, if anything very affectionate and loving so I was lying in bed and asked it to show itself and all of a sudden I could hear someone moving maybe 5m away, it was so surreal and then I saw a blinding white flash. There is no appliances on that side of the room and it was literally like a huge white explosion.
I then started to freak out like I always do and said please don't show yourself yet and then it stopped and I went to sleep.
I have no idea what is going on, I don't get anything negative from this what I believe to be male energy. I always usually reject all negative energy and WHAT would a white flash be? I always thought white light was positive?
Very confused girl here. It is such a shame how much stuff I see so often but I feel I can't make any sense of it. I

I also study religion at university (including mysticism) and love all things spiritual. My life isn't wholesome without meditation, yoga, cleansings (white sage, gemstones, dragons blood, etc), being out in nature, eating really clean and being a contributor to this earth as much as possible.
Sorry for focusing on that one thing before, just confused. I would love to speak and learn more about all spheres of spirituality.

[scotch]

hello and welcome

[dream jo]

hi
its grt on hear

[knightofalbion]

A very warm welcome to the forum, dear Mona

[praveece]

Welcome to the Spiritual Forums!