to spank or not to spank

[LadyMay]

I have said here before that I'm not a parent so I don't have any experience but I have a good knowledge of psychology and I think knowing how to respond to children psychologically in the correct way is enough. Force should never have to be used (in any manner)

Originally Posted by Leonine

It is! And if I did it to you - or someone in the workplace did it to you - it might end in legal charges being brought or dismissal from a job.

(Actually, legally it is called "battery"; the threatening of it is the "assault").

i'm not making any judgements-i just wanted clarification. i tried to make clear in the beginning we were not talking about beatings.

i appreciate all the replies.

i also had a hunch that the ones who more or less didn't find anything wrong with swats or spankings would be the older crowd and i thought the younger ones would be the ones who were against it no matter what.

[onetruebeliever]

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

I think for situations which a child gets into and doesn't realize the consequences for and doesn't experience them for themselves there needs to be some sort of 'ouch' reaction that they receive in response. Saying that I'm against smacking, and think a firm no would probably do the trick. No young child likes to feel rejected by their parents. A 'no' is probably enough.

I'm late to the party, but I am old. I hate saying that. LOL!

As a mom to two boys I can tell you unequivocally that "no" hardly ever works if your child has a mind to do something. I was spanked and slapped as a child - I grew up well adjusted and mentally healthy. That being said, I didn't spank like I was spanked, but both of my kids got a swat on the behind for certain things, like stepping away from me in the parking lot, telling me no, they would not do something, stuff like that. We did time outs - both of my boys had to sit in a chair with their hands in their lap and feet on the floor. One or two minutes did the trick - they were where I could see them. They were removed from the situation, we had talks. When they got older - grounding from going or doing was the punishment. They have both grown up just fine and are very nice young men. You have to know your kids to learn what is effective.

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by onetruebeliever

I'm late to the party, but I am old. I hate saying that. LOL!

As a mom to two boys I can tell you unequivocally that "no" hardly ever works if your child has a mind to do something. I was spanked and slapped as a child - I grew up well adjusted and mentally healthy. That being said, I didn't spank like I was spanked, but both of my kids got a swat on the behind for certain things, like stepping away from me in the parking lot, telling me no, they would not do something, stuff like that. We did time outs - both of my boys had to sit in a chair with their hands in their lap and feet on the floor. One or two minutes did the trick - they were where I could see them. They were removed from the situation, we had talks. When they got older - grounding from going or doing was the punishment. They have both grown up just fine and are very nice young men. You have to know your kids to learn what is effective.

Yeah each one to their own :)

I just remembered actually before my mother remarried (which is when the excessive 'punishments' started- not from her) I think she told me something like I did something bad and she said a firm no and I never did it again.. I don't know, I'll have to ask her again. Up until then I was okay without any smacks- and I was an unruly child! I guess it depends on the parent and child in question, as you said. I remember when I made friends with a toddler and whenever she did anything dangerous I would explain to her why she couldn't do it- why it was dangerous. Her mum used to tell her 'no' but it never worked. Yet when I explained to her the consequences she seemed to understand and stopped doing whatever it was she was doing. So.. yeah.