Soaking up your partner's moods, thoughts, feelings...

Greetings& lots of love to my fellow spiritual seekers


I have a question for y'all regarding spirituality and relationships, and especially about two sensitive, spiritual people in a relationship

So my story is as follows - I have not been with my boyfriend for long, yet there is an incredible connection when it comes to sensing each others thoughts and emotions. Actually, it runs much deeper than sensing - it's more like we "infect" each other with our moods all the time. Meaning - one cannot be sad/tired/whatever without the other feeling the same, too. I can never tell who is the source of these transmissions of mood, i.e. whether this is coming from me, him, both of us or somewhere else entirely...

All this can become a bit overwhelming for me...especially when he gets into some hypersensitive, dark mood and becomes a bit sullen, thus dragging down my usually positive self with him. Or is this just an amplified reflection of something negative inside me? I don't even have to see him to know he is in one of these moods again, because I feel something is a bit off-colour with me, too, except I'm stronger and more skilled at dealing with these things. He is a very gentle and sensitive soul but he is only at the beginning of his spiritual path, still searching, meandering and lacking something he can devote himself to with love.

Despite all the amazing, beautiful moments, I sometimes fear that his negative phases will drag me down and impede my spiritual progress...yet again my intuition tells me that we have so much to learn from each other and are meant to spiritually develop together. What can sometimes be difficult to bear are all the ways in which we influence each others mental spiritual and emotional states, as this makes me feel like I'm caught in a whirlwind of strange emotions without knowing where they emanate from and how to cure them...

Has anybody else here experienced something similar? I would be most grateful for any and all comments, remarks, solutions, experiences, possible techniques for dealing with one's overly empathic nature...

Yup. I know the feeling except I am like that with everyone. I think one person affects me more than everyone else but aside from that, I'm an emotional sponge. I know how it feels and when those dark moods hit, it sucks royally, but it all comes down to duality. You can't appreciate light until you have experienced dark. You are not meant to avoid feeling negativity at all.You are meant to honor whatever it is you feel-good or bad. There are also techniques you can try to shield yourself. I suck epically at those otherwise I'd practice them more consistently. I think I've tried it once and was too lazy to try again after that.

You also say he is at the beginning of his spiritual path. Sometimes one person can be more developed spiritually than the other but you probably still have a ways to go yourself as well. Look at what you have to learn from this because if he is a gentle and sensitive soul like you say he is, I don't think its worth just walking away or getting too discouraged just now. If he is otherwise a negative person to you directly then that is probably where the lesson for you lies.

Your intuition is probably correct! You two are probably together because there is much for both of you to learn from the other. You are sensitive to energy, and so you can easily pick of the energies of not only your partner, but also of any other people around you - even those who may be passing by in the street.

Most people erroneously believe that our bodies are closed systems, and that our thoughts are constrained within them. Yet, there is no such thing as a closed system. Everything is in one way or another connected to everything else in ways that would truly stagger the conscious ego mind, if it attempted to comprehend this in a complete manner.

What can be helpful for you to be aware of, is that our partners (and other people as well), are mirror images of our own personal thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and expectations. People will reflect back to us what we think of them, expect of them, or feel of them in the moment. How we feel about ourselves, is just the flip side of how we are expecting others to treat us. It is all connected together (pun intended).

Shifting our own thoughts, without verbal intervention, can go a long ways towards receiving a more loving interaction from our partners.

You can shift your thoughts by intentionally focusing upon better feeling thoughts, or you can use a prop to help you with this, such as listening to music that you enjoy, taking a walk, and changing whatever activity you are presently engaged in, in order to shift your focus. Doing this improves the odds that your partner will interact with you in a more pleasant manner.

However, the most effective means I have discovered for improving my relations with others, is to deal with the personal issue head on. That is, recognizing that my partner is presenting to me, an opportunity for me to work on issues that I have left unresolved.

When your intent to be more aware, and responsible in this regard, you will open up the gates of your higher guidance. This guidance will help and assist you in coming to terms with your own issues, via intuition. This does not necessarily require that you verbally communicate this with your partner. Sometimes it is better not to communicate this with your partner, because in this latter case, you are taking more full responsibility for that which you are manifesting!

On the other hand, since it is a co-created venture between the two of you, your partner can often gain from a verbal discussion of the subject. Let your intuition be your guide as to which approach to take. Experiment with both techniques, and see what happens. You always learn from every experience, so no choice is ever a bad choice. Verbal communication will not work unless your partner is ready to work with you on the same level that you are working the issue. As we gain consciousness, a soul to soul sort of communication of your understanding, without verbal communication, will rapidly shift any unwanted experience that you presently find yourself in, without having to hold yourself back by waiting for the other person to come up to speed.

Hope that helps some.

Thank you so much both of you, this was very encouraging and inspiring to hear

I am absorptive like this. Not as much as what I hear from some empaths, but enough to bother me sometimes. I have found that obsidian (stones--I have a bracelet) helps me stay in my own energy and block out others when I need it. Not sure how this would work in a healthy relationship, though. You want to be able to be intimate with each other, but boundaries are healthy too. Probably worth getting it out into the open and discussing.