Marriage is an outdated and limiting concept

[Anandini.Devotee]

I would love to get a discussion going about this, have seen some pretty opposing views with good points on either side. I am not seeing that being monogamous is a bad idea I just think that it is really silly to get the law and the state involved, who I decide to have sex with or be with has to do with the people involved nobody else.

I think that this article really puts it in perspective, http://www.selfrealizationgroup.info/marriage-outdated-limiting-concept/
Opinions?

[aubreyiris]

A true healthy marriage is about a heck of a lot more than sex. It's about commitment, sacrifice, unconditional love, selflessness, compromise and raising children in a nurturing and stable environment. I don't necessarily think the law has to be involved, but I think having some sort of ceremony with loved ones present is an important way of becoming more than just sexual partners but family.

[KevinO]

I'm all for marriage, so long as there's divorce.

[Royalite]

Many times I think people have a limitting view of marriage which makes it feel limited. But marriage is so much more than getting the law or the state involved especially because marriage is something that occurs even without government regulation. Most of the people in my family and most of my ancestors lived and grew up in a place where the government wasn't even on their island and they had what would be called a common law marriage.

[candelight]

posted under wrong section...

[LadyMay]

I haven't read it all, but I saw the main points about marriage is both a way for the state to keep an eye on people and keep society running smoothly and also a form of ego-gratification to soothe your own insecurities.. I agree with both of these. Outside of those two things marriage has no purpose and it has no meaning.

Love is love. And a piece of paper 'proving' your love is just a piece of paper. If someone wants to idealise the connection then that's up to them, but apart from your fantasies and the state benefits it holds no substance.

[durgaa]

Just don't assume God has anything to do with 99% of marriages..
Ordinary marriage means nothing to me - it's just a piece of paper. However, l do believe that when two soul's join, it becomes a 'sacred marriage' - but l think its extremely rare.
For myself l believe in the following (if all you want is an ordinary life in an ordinary marriage, none of this matters):

Beyond all that, in the depths, at the centre, at the summit of the being, there is a Supreme Truth of being, an Eternal Light, independent of all the circumstances of birth, country, environment, education; That is the origin, cause and master our spiritual development; it is That which gives a permanent direction to our lives; it is That which determines Destinies; it is in the consciousness of That that you must unite. To be one in aspiration and ascension, to move forward at the same pace on the same spiritual path, that is the secret of a lasting union

[hheaven67]

I'm all for marriage, so long as there's divorce.

LOL LOL!! I'll second that! ;)

[hheaven67]

I haven't read it all, but I saw the main points about marriage is both a way for the state to keep an eye on people and keep society running smoothly and also a form of ego-gratification to soothe your own insecurities.. I agree with both of these. Outside of those two things marriage has no purpose and it has no meaning.

Love is love. And a piece of paper 'proving' your love is just a piece of paper. If someone wants to idealise the connection then that's up to them, but apart from your fantasies and the state benefits it holds no substance.

Very well said, I have thought of this as well...how our upbringing & society portrayed (or still does) how lives should be lived...you go to school, then possibly more school, then get a good job, somewhere in there you get married, buy a house, have a family...nowadays, I'm happy to see young adults waiting longer before all that responsibility, travel, see the world, experience life, be a little carefree...don't settle down so quickly, discover who they truly are...people change over the years, especially from 18 to 30! I've always been a hard worker, no problem with hard work but I wish the thought would've entered my mind years ago to travel & experience different cultures, etc...to this day, I've never had a vacation, I encourage my son to live his life to the fullest but don't drag his name through the mud ;)

It should be a conscious decision every day to stay with that one special person, a piece of paper isn't going to make anyone stay with another if they're unhappy.

[Theophila]

Just don't assume God has anything to do with 99% of marriages..
Ordinary marriage means nothing to me - it's just a piece of paper. However, l do believe that when two soul's join, it becomes a 'sacred marriage' - but l think its extremely rare.
For myself l believe in the following (if all you want is an ordinary life in an ordinary marriage, none of this matters):

It's funny, while I was single, this is exactly what I had in mind when I thought of marriage...
I felt it was a huge decision to join lives with someone. I never had the fairytale dream....
It was important to me that we be connected, that there would be a common journey...
Most importantly a deep and true love....
That to me was what a " sacred " marriage meant, and the only reason for me to go to church and go through the ritual...with an honest heart.
People thought I was reaching for the stars, that it doesn't exist, that I should look at the " good catch" list and grab an opportunity....

Life happened and I married for my child....to honor her father with whom I was involved and put effort into keeping a family...
Safe to say I married at the town hall...
I couldn't bring myself to a church...
Not that I didn't care nor love...but I did not feel he was for life.
And guess what...
With all effort, it wouldn't , couldn't stick...
From both ends we could just not connect.
When we spoke it was as if we were speaking two different languages....
And the inevitable happened...
Remembering back to when I was single and ALL the advice I was getting from everyone...I realised that what my heart said was the truth...
But hey, that is what marriage is for me , not for everyone.......

[KevinO]

Duplicate post.................

[KevinO]

Life happened and I married for my child....to honor her father with whom I was involved and put effort into keeping a family...
Safe to say I married at the town hall...
I couldn't bring myself to a church...
Not that I didn't care nor love...but I did not feel he was for life.
And guess what...
With all effort, it wouldn't , couldn't stick...
From both ends we could just not connect.
When we spoke it was as if we were speaking two different languages....
And the inevitable happened...
Remembering back to when I was single and ALL the advice I was getting from everyone...I realised that what my heart said was the truth...
But hey, that is what marriage is for me , not for everyone.......

Please post this in the poetry section.

Beautiful.

[Theophila]

Please post this in the poetry section.

Beautiful.

:confused: should I take that in a good way:D

[PaintingRosesRed]

I respectfully disagree. Marrying someone who is as spiritual as you can be uplifting. It's more about sex, besides, those who turn to God are less likely to put sex on such a high importance. I am also religious. Sex is not viewed as something bad, but it's a way to show love.

Of course, you can have sex with whoever you want, but you are just putting limits on yourself. You are free to make your choices, but marriage has a lot more to it than limit. That doesn't mean you have to be with the first one coming, of course.
I personally wouldn't want to have big wedding, nor have an engagement ring. I like men with rings so marrying someone and him choosing to wear a wedding ring would be nice. (In the end, I wouldnt want to force anyone wearing a wedding ring, what matters is that we both keep our promises and that we both know that we are married) I see it is as a promise, while I don't rush to marry anyone and not sure if I really want kids, I don't believe marriage is limiting or outdated.

[LiveInTheNow]

Marriage is ... whatever the two persons in it make of it. But just looking at the divorce statistics (in western countries at least) it seems you'd better think twice nowadays about getting a ring on your finger. And that doesn't even count the couples who stay married but love has gone (or was not even present to start with), so yes there is definitely a social/legal/customs aspect of it which has not much to do with loving someone. But of course there are "happily ever after" marriages... and it's wonderful when it happens.

[LadyMay]

I respectfully disagree. Marrying someone who is as spiritual as you can be uplifting. It's more about sex, besides, those who turn to God are less likely to put sex on such a high importance. I am also religious. Sex is not viewed as something bad, but it's a way to show love.

Of course, you can have sex with whoever you want, but you are just putting limits on yourself. You are free to make your choices, but marriage has a lot more to it than limit. That doesn't mean you have to be with the first one coming, of course.

I don't think anyone stated here that marriage is just about sex.

[kkfern]

i believe in marriage. marriage is more then sex but i gotta say i do like the sex. for me, marriage is important. i have been married 37 years. marriage is about having a partner. there were a few times in our marriage when i would have been gone had it not been so hard to get a divorce. that made it necessary to work instead of run.

that made all the difference. i had to grow and so did my husband. i also think it is important for the children. it is a richer (not monetarily) experience for them. they see us loving and fighting and making up. it teaches them.

kk

[PaintingRosesRed]

I don't think anyone stated here that marriage is just about sex.

I would love to get a discussion going about this, have seen some pretty opposing views with good points on either side. I am not seeing that being monogamous is a bad idea I just think that it is really silly to get the law and the state involved, who I decide to have sex with or be with has to do with the people involved nobody else.

I never said that anyone stated that it's just about sex. Maybe I pronounced that word a bit too much. Point is, spiritually based marriage, the way it was supposed to be, is uplifting and not something outdated or limiting.

[Lorelyen]

Marriage is a social institution. As society shifts the relevance of marriage changes with it. It does have a sound foundation - important for children, but that depends on the participants/parents recognising that rights and demands have to be swapped for responsibilities and duties.

In current times, in materialist, consumerist cultures, the individual has been so empowered that it's sometimes difficult to acknowledge the existence of others in their terms. Sex, libido, desire are often mistaken for love. But it's the sex that's loved not the person. And when the sexual repertoire runs out, the mismatches start to appear, the veneer wears thin.

Unfortunately, children arise from sex - and until we can establish a broader means in society to nurture children than abandon them to the caprices of parents neglectful of duty and responsibility, they are losers. They set out in life with whatever the fallout is.

The UK is the Europe record-holder for divorce rate. Sometime around 2012 Michael Buerk (a journalist) summarised some stats among which was one that said only half of children reach the age of 15 with both parents.

So, outmoded as marriage may seem to some we need society or what's left of it to catch up to make better provision for nurturing children.

♀

[RedEmbers]

It is like any other establishment...

It changes to reflect the society around it.

I have gone through a process of redefining what it means TO ME... separate to all the outdated concepts which other people who are not me have constructed over the years.

[lenvdb64]

This is a very relevant subject. I am a gay man, and for many years have been subject to social discrimination. Society is only now beginning to review its attitudes regarding this. I believe it needs to be considered from a few angles:

1) Who owns marriage? Does God own marriage, or the church, or the government? I have had to live with my partner for years being unable to marry due to legal discrimination. Historically the laws of the land did not grant the right to marry to same sex couples.
2) The church view the gay lifestyle as an abomination, and we regarded Christianity as a formidable stronghold for bigotry.

After I experienced a Soul Awakening, I concluded that both Government and Religious Institutions are corrupt. We felt we do not need corrupt institutions to approve our love and commitment for each other. We have been a couple for many years. A Message from the Astral plane a few years back stated that they were "popping the champagne to celebrate our union" and that was enough for us.

Marriage does not belong to the land, the church, the government. It is a Soul commitment. The reason people get married and divorced is because of Karma and settling karmic debts and also because people are not compatible. Doing a Natal Report and Relationship Compatibility report should be part of every prospecting couple who wish to tie the knot. Unfortunately people are not spiritually aware and extremely ego-driven. This does not help at all.

My partner and I were together as a couple in 2 previous lifetimes too, and this is our 3rd life together.

[Shaunc]

Marriage is a legal contract, that protects both partners & any children involved should it fail. Most marriages including mine involve a certain amount of property and both parents generally speaking should be able to get access to any children involved. I've been married for 14 years & have 4 children & a house invested in it, & of course my wife has the same amount, neither of us deserve to be ostracised & penniless if the worst happens.

[Frederick33]

Marriage is an outdated and limiting concept ? perhaps if I would meet a nice looking girl perhaps just in her 20s and rich and all that and she wanted to marry me, I might just give it a try to see how outdated the concept is ...will let you know after it happened o.k .

[Uma]

If I'm not mistaken, the original purpose of marriage was to unite two families together to pool the wealth. And in Tina Turner's words "What's love got to do with it?"

I also feel strongly that children have a right to a strong foundation in childhood, meaning parents who are committed for the long run to giving the child tender loving care from both male and female perspectives. Children should not be viewed as trophies, created carelessly. I also wish society was organized around prioritizing the needs of our children - what an amazing world that would be.

[lenvdb64]

<<Marriage is an outdated and limiting concept ? perhaps if I would meet a nice looking girl perhaps just in her 20s and rich and all that and she wanted to marry me, I might just give it a try to see how outdated the concept is >>

As everything in this reality - it is all subjective.
It all depends on what your prespective of this life is.
Are you wandering about with no Self awareness / Soul Awareness, just existing, working to pay bills, get married, have kids etc...? Then marriage is important to you and you will view it within all the boundaries created by society and its conditioning.

However, if you are Soul Aware, and live life from the Higher perspective, then it really does not matter ...
The 2 parties may meet, fall in love and decide for themselves how they will shape their future together, regardless of the conditioning of society.

[SpiritCarrier]

I think if marriage is important to you then no matter what popular belief is you will look for a partner who shares your belief system. Entering into marriage, is an important step for some of us. It is more than a piece of paper. It is an outward sign, to the world, your families, to everyone that you love each other and are committed to each other. I am not big on what other people think but the commitment beyond self is important to me. To know that I am treasured and loved, and that the person I feel the same way about wants to make me his own, yes that is important to me. I know the idea of marriage is outdated but for me it is not so much what it means in the world but what it means to me and whoever becomes my significant other.

Going back to the title of the thread, "Marriage is an outdated and limiting concept", perhaps. But for some of us it means so much more than a piece of paper and a legal ceremony. I guess it goes back to whatever it means to and for you and that is the most important thing.

I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Seasons Greetings.

Peace Love and Light,
SC

[KevinO]

:confused: should I take that in a good way:D

Try reading some Dylan Thomas.

[joyfirst]

Marriage is neither bad nor good by itself. It is just a choice in this game we call life. If it feels good -marry, if not -do not. Why limit ourselves?