A thread for the broken-hearted

[Kiran]

Feel free to post here all the pain you are going through. We feel with you, because we have been there.

:hug3:

Love hurts sometimes... and sometimes you have to let go of the one you most love. True love neve dies, but sometimes we have to let our beloved one go a separate way. It is so hard to let go...

Sometimes we need to leave a relationship for us to stay whole...
:icon_frown:

You will be better. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you will be better. And maybe some day you will love again.

Wishing you all the best. Have a hug. :hug:


With love, Kiran

[Kiran]

In memoriam: Aurodas


The Home and the Dream


I have loved you so deeply
that only by reminiscing I miss you...
I miss your light, your poetry.
I miss your well-chosen words,
I miss the dream we dreamt together.
I miss that you couldn't take me crying,
that you wouldn't know of the pain.
And your well-worked fantasies
and your silence; without saying anything,
I felt so close to you.
And your crazy laugh
which always made me smile.
I miss your tenderness, your respect,
your excellent care for me.
I miss... I miss how you made me dream,
with only a touch, with only a kiss.
For you I wrote a thousand poems
and still I could write more.
In your face I found all beauty of the world.

But you need to see me naked,
need to see me as I am,
couldn't live this far from the one that I loved.
And tried to forget you
in other arms
and in the end I prefered
to have a home, quiet and safe,
than hunt after a future that didn't seem realistic,
I chose everyday life
before fantasy.

I chose two arms to hold me always,
two eyes to always look at me,
lips to kiss, body to touch,
a man to talk to
eye to eye and sincerely
and an eternal advice, an eternal help,
a serene refuge.

But... it's not your words of wisdom,
it's not your light nor your poetry,
nothing he knows of your fantasy,
of your way that I wished to share.
And for this reason
it's still you who paints my dreams
in aquarels of luminous blue.
And I only ask you to guard me
a little space in your heart,
because although our ways separated
we follow the same goal
and your soul keeps being
MY DREAM.

[Internal Queries]

no matter how i can employ my spiritual intellect to convince myself that the beloved ones i've lost aren't really lost ... it STILL hurts.

i theorize that the pain i experience is me trying to be here in this reality while simultaneously trying to be with my departed loved ones in their new reality, the attempt to be in two places at the same time splitting my energies and causing me distress. i can't seem to help myself. i am drawn to those that i love no matter where they are.

[Squatchit]

A beautiful song about the broken-hearted.

Jimmy Ruffin - What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zCz8SKmGek

[Kiran]

Thank you for posting the song, Squatchit!

[Kiran]

Internal Queries, wishing you all the best in your life without the departed loved ones... I know it is hard to let go.

[münchen444]

What an amazing poem, Kiran. Thank you for sharing.

And I am sending out special hugs to all dealing with such pain. :hug2:

[ShapeShifter]

How can i take something positive from this pain? You left me alone in this world, and took with you my heart. Everyday we spent together falling more in love.. Every morning i would wake up in your arms.. How could all the promises and emotions shared amount to nothing in you. I dont understand what i did to deserve this abandonment. You said it could never be over. You said that i was your twin flame! You might be able to breath on your own. But i gave you my life addi. I gave you everything i could, because you promised you would never leave.... Just tell me what i should do now that im alone... but your not there. You cant deal with the guilt of leaving. You cant look into my eyes and be true anymore. You defiled my passion leaving me to rot. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!! does this not mean anything to you?

[ShapeShifter]

Just... really needed to get that off my chest. Very grateful that i can do this here. I apologize for the negativity guys. :(

[sesheta]

It's OK - release all your primal screams, cry your tears, and shout out your anger- we have all been there and know how it feels. I'm on your thread in the Healing forum, too, so I know why you're posting :) No worries - sometimes the only way to feel better is to let it all out - if you hold it in, the pain will just eat you alive..and that won't help anything. Just try to keep the faith....

[Xan]

I didn't hear negativity from you, ShapeShifter... just a hurting heart needing to say what it was feeling. It's part of your healing.


Xan

[kindheart]

It's such a weird feeling to be broken hearted... to love someone so much that when they part, part of you leaves with them and it hurts so much... probably the worst pain i've ever experienced. and i've experienced it so many times... For the first time I thought "I have finally found the One, thank you soooo much"... but he felt incapable of loving because of past hurts. So after a few months of being together, after I had let my guards down and let myself fully love one more time, we had to part. Is it time to close my heart? And I thought I was being careful this time :(

[Xan]

For me feeling love is worth everything...
even the pain and disappointment
that sometimes comes with it.

Our hearts are the most precious part of us.
The heart is not only how we feel emotional love
but opens us to our deep inner being.

I accept no reason for closing my heart...
not now, not ever.


Xan

[hawkmoth65]

It's such a weird feeling to be broken hearted... to love someone so much that when they part, part of you leaves with them and it hurts so much... probably the worst pain i've ever experienced. and i've experienced it so many times... For the first time I thought "I have finally found the One, thank you soooo much"... but he felt incapable of loving because of past hurts. So after a few months of being together, after I had let my guards down and let myself fully love one more time, we had to part. Is it time to close my heart? And I thought I was being careful this time :(I wish I could say something to make you feel better Kindheart.Losing a loved one can be one of the worst pains imaginable,but would we change our potential to be hurt for the numb painlessness of the unfeeling?I doubt any of us would,for it is this vulnerability,to have our hearts broken,that makes us human.

[hawkmoth65]

A poem for the broken-hearted

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=24826

[Uma]

some people hug you tight so they can stick the knife in deeper

[kindheart]

some people hug you tight so they can stick the knife in deeper
i'm not sure i understand?

[Uma]

i'm not sure i understand?

Lucky you. Nothing hurts like betrayal.

[kindheart]

Lucky you. Nothing hurts like betrayal.

I'm sorry, I understand what you mean now. And I have been betrayed... more than once. Although I seem to let myself get betrayed... I'm naive and often don't want to believe that people can lie to, take advantage of or betray others. In my case, it's like I'm the one who holds on tight so they can stab the knife in deeper........... :icon_frown:

[Uma]

I'm sorry, I understand what you mean now. And I have been betrayed... more than once. Although I seem to let myself get betrayed... I'm naive and often don't want to believe that people can lie to, take advantage of or betray others. In my case, it's like I'm the one who holds on tight so they can stab the knife in deeper........... :icon_frown:

oh oh - you've got to let go

[darkness]

Just lost another girlfriend.. I seem to have the kind of luck of finding the seemingly "ideal" person, only to be let down in some way or another... I just hope I find my _______ soon.

<3

[Kiran]

You will, darkness. You will.

[Emmalevine]

A beautiful song about the broken-hearted.

Jimmy Ruffin - What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zCz8SKmGek

I love that song too :smile:

[Roselove]

i lost ideal and so many others! shame all i wanted in life was love, for someone to really truly love me and care for me

[sugarlight]

I'm sorry, I understand what you mean now. And I have been betrayed... more than once. Although I seem to let myself get betrayed... I'm naive and often don't want to believe that people can lie to, take advantage of or betray others. In my case, it's like I'm the one who holds on tight so they can stab the knife in deeper........... :icon_frown:

I too am the naive one holding on so the ones I love can stab the knife deeper. I have reflected on that part of myself so many times! And my conclusion is always that I wouldn't change a thing. I suffer a lot of pain because of my stubborn believe in the inherent good in everyone and in everyone's ability to overcome the darkness in themselves - but I also see a lot of people see and get closer to their potential simply because I gave them the confidence of my belief. I know that my refusal to "be cautious" is seen as a negative and stupid thing to many people...but not to the people who have never had someone see their beauty. To me - that is worth the pain.

[kindheart]

I too am the naive one holding on so the ones I love can stab the knife deeper. I have reflected on that part of myself so many times! And my conclusion is always that I wouldn't change a thing. I suffer a lot of pain because of my stubborn believe in the inherent good in everyone and in everyone's ability to overcome the darkness in themselves - but I also see a lot of people see and get closer to their potential simply because I gave them the confidence of my belief. I know that my refusal to "be cautious" is seen as a negative and stupid thing to many people...but not to the people who have never had someone see their beauty. To me - that is worth the pain.

You know, my friend told me the exact same thing this weekend. I had met someone who knew my ex from having gone to school with him years ago. She asked me what I thought of him, and said I thought he was such an amazing person... she goes "oh, I think he'd a douchebag"... It just broke my heart. My ex truly is a wonderful person, so very kind and generous. Yes he struggles to find who he is and is obviously damaged from his past, and yes he was a troubled kid in school/high school (with reason), he still is a truly beautiful person. And he treated me like a princess, and still is fully here for me whenever I need him. I try not to talk to him as I need to move on, but sometimes I can't help it :( I miss him so much.......

[Yassi]

Everybody can consider himself/herself broken-hearted in some points

[Kiran]

Here I have for you a song that has touched me, and I wish that it will give you hope...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk5kYjD9E1I
These are the lyrics that resonated with me:

"If love is a word, I don't understand.
Simple a sound, four letters.
Whatever it was, I'm over it now.
With every day, it gets better.
It gets better.
Are you loving the pain, loving the pain?
And with every day, every day I try to move on.
Whatever it was, whatever it was,
there's nothing now.
You changed.
New age."

[Aset90]

Nothing has ever felt like this. It hurts so much I feel like I must be repaying for something terrible I did in a past life. It sucks even more because its not something remotely current so there's not much I can do to fix it. I miss him daily

[Reapy]

Why is it every man I have a relationship with is hiding behind a mask? How difficult is it to actually be yourself from the very start of the relationship?!? It took 6 years and the birth of our child for me to see my husband for who he truly is. A small minded, selfish, paranoid man who was all for children until he realised he had to help raise her .

I try so very hard every day to not judge all men by the standards of the few I've dated, but it's so very difficult.

Am I so repulsive, hateful and worthless that the real, worthwhile men in this world don't want me? Am I doomed to forever get these false men who are only out to take?

**takes a deep breath** sorry about that , it didn't start as a rant, but ended that way. :O

[shareunity]

Sending my loves towards the ones with a broken hearts . Xoxo- shareunity.

[Yazs]

Why is it every man I have a relationship with is hiding behind a mask? How difficult is it to actually be yourself from the very start of the relationship?!? It took 6 years and the birth of our child for me to see my husband for who he truly is. A small minded, selfish, paranoid man who was all for children until he realised he had to help raise her .

I try so very hard every day to not judge all men by the standards of the few I've dated, but it's so very difficult.

Am I so repulsive, hateful and worthless that the real, worthwhile men in this world don't want me? Am I doomed to forever get these false men who are only out to take?

**takes a deep breath** sorry about that , it didn't start as a rant, but ended that way. :O

I know how you feel, but I am male and my views are of my Fiancee, the time period you state is exact to mine. It takes so much for some, even most people male/female to show who they truely are. My Fiancee opts out of 90% of her responsibilities, is very negative, selfish, lazy and eventually just rude. These trates are the complete opposite to who she seemed to be. They leaked through, bit by bit she released her true self. I find that for the well being of my daughter I am going to remain in a relationship that is based on a dream. There is nothing that could have been done, she was very convincing on the person she made out to be. Guess some people are nautrally very selfish/closed minded. They seem to be aware of this to the level that they hide all negatives about their life. Eventhough from the start I have been very open about even the most embrassing parts of my life/personality, it was not enough for her to be aswell.

I do hope you find a way to cope in a loveless relationship, absent of affection, at least on your half. He needs you like she needs me, even though our partners are likely to dis-honour us in some way. Once the children have grown up, life can begin again. Forgive, do not forget and stop trying so hard. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. I used to do that, it is easy to. Most of all though, your child is only going to have one childhood. It is time to give, but to/for your child.

Ever need a deeper chat about the situation. I am here to listen. Every thing above is based on my opion and life experiences. How you choose to move forward is the right decission. Much love to you, very best wishes! :hug3:

[Undeadweapon]

Well, today wasn't kind to me. After a strange turn of events I lost contact with the man I had a massive crush on, and it was almost totally my fault. I actually had a kind of 'premonition' months ago that what happened today would happen, and yet, I couldn't stop it even though I knew what I was doing was wrong.

I feel so stupid with myself, but also confused and in some way relieved, because I just had the feeling lately that he wasn't interested and didn't care (I thought the fact I sent him a message saying I felt really bad and needed someone to talk to, but not getting a response confirmed it. That was shortly before everything unravelled...), but I kept pushing forwards in the hopes that things would change, even though it was also stressing me out at the same time.
Holding onto false hopes is something of a habit for me it seems.

It hurts, but I'm trying to look at the positives. Not many right now but everything needs time...

[MorningMist]

@ InternalQueries: Oh, how I can empathise with that. Sending you big warm hugs and hopes that clarity, peace of mind and comfort reach you, though the pain of loss never truly leave us, it partially, at least, seems to transform into a new personal philosophy and way of viewing the process.

@ Undeadweapon: "I feel so stupid with myself, but also confused and in some way relieved, because I just had the feeling lately that he wasn't interested and didn't care (I thought the fact I sent him a message saying I felt really bad and needed someone to talk to, but not getting a response confirmed it. That was shortly before everything unravelled...), but I kept pushing forwards in the hopes that things would change, even though it was also stressing me out at the same time. Holding onto false hopes is something of a habit for me it seems."

I've been where you've been. It's embarrassing, supremely uncomfortable and, for me, at least, left me feeling incredibly stupid and worthless. In other words, my ego took a massive blow.

It does hurt, there's no denying it - and it will hurt for a while....but eventually, when the pain settles (and it will, I promise), you will be able to go over it in your mind and pluck out those parts of the event(s) that will help you on your path of development. In my case, it's always been my unchecked ego that's led me down so many paths of pain and suffering...and that is my lesson in this life: controlling the ego and letting love in.

You're never alone, you are loved (even if you can't see it right now), you're amongst friends who care here, and many have trod the same path and lived to tell the tale :)

Hugs
MorningMist

[Undeadweapon]

Thanks, Morning Mist. I still feel really low today and I wish I could go right back to the start and do things differently, but I still think maybe it was meant to happen and that it was for the best... it just feels weird not seeing my phone light up with a message right now. :hug2:

[Yazs]

Thanks, Morning Mist. I still feel really low today and I wish I could go right back to the start and do things differently, but I still think maybe it was meant to happen and that it was for the best... it just feels weird not seeing my phone light up with a message right now. :hug2:


The fact you feel this way strongly suggest you are a very loving person. For what ever reason you are both seperated, I do hope it has a happy ending. Sometimes, to help feeling like that I remember the bad things, even it up a bit.

I do hope you pain passes soon. How ever, be aware that you have to let go of it. Otherwise it will remain in your life forever.

Love to you! x

[shareunity]

Heavy set <3 ;/

[shareunity]

why is it that the heart still beats
but the mind doesn't want to erase?
no matter how hard you try.
no matter how many people come and go.
no matter how much ur hurting...
u kno deep down inside...

the person u fall in love for..
will alwasie be in ur heart..
beating the same beat.
feeling the same emotion...
knowing that ur always gonna long for that person deep inside..

;[[[[[[ feelings suck. where is the delete button!!!

[TheressaWilliams]

After 4 years together... I tried to keep it working! He kept distancing himself from me, especially after his Grandfather died. I told him I wouldn't press on it, that if he wanted to talk, I'd be there for him. But after the engagement. He almost got offended when I'd want to talk about planning the wedding! About living together. And after 2+ years of me constantly moving every few months, I'd think he'd understand that I was looking for SOME form of stability.
My friend asked me a question that shook me: "When is the last time the two of you comfortably had a long conversation?"
So after agonizing, I finally sat him down. I brought up the lack of communication. I asked him, "If you can't even talk to the person you're planning on marrying, WHO CAN you talk to?" I then asked why he proposed... This is what KILLED me...
He responded "You know, for the last few months, I've been asking myself the same thing." HE Couldn't remember why he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him!
He then went on to telling me It wasn't worth fixing. Which to me felt like he was saying "You're not worth it". So I let him go.

It's been a year now, and even though I've found somebody (though we are seperated for the next year, I get to visit in September, though!) Who is WONDERFUL!!
I still feel that sting, that heartache. I find myself wondering if he ever remembered why he proposed? But then what would I do with that information? What would be the point now?

I realize that I need to move forward, for my sake, and the sake of a relationship that is slowly blooming! There are just days where it really hurts...

wow, that actually feels a bit better. Having that out there :)
Thank you //gets all teary//

[CatChild]

It's hard to feel love when it doesn't feel validated. I think that in THIS fact alone, my heart will likely never mend completely.

All else fades and means very little, due to the way things were and the work we still have before us. We have loved other people but still never found that bridge of acceptance between the two of us. How pathetic...

[Kiran]

I am happy that you are using this thread to post your heartache.

Sending out love to all of you... hoping the pain will ease, someday!

[heli]

seeems like people are really buying in to these things like: I will never leave you, I will always be by your side..

I can't believe in that, if I here it, I don't believe it.. People either grow apart, get in to argues and never want to see one again, people die or just leave cause you were a pain in their asses..

I don't know if I can ever trust anyone ever again. My heart and the trust was first broken at the age of 2.5 when my mother decided to give me away to another family where my brother already lived. She was ill. She couldn't take care of me. I fell in love at the age of 16, he went behind my back, lied to me and cheated on me and I felt very abandoned. I left him, couldn't get over the fact that he lied so I never trusted him again. Even though now, we would never be a good match, we've got nothing in common I think, so it's good that the relationship ended but I was going trough these awful feelings again. I didn't date after that. I didn't want to get in to a relationship ever again, I decided to be alone. I lived alone, 40 km from my parents. I moved out when I was 14, I rebelled at home and you could say that I had got rage problems at home. They took me to the mental hospital and I was there, locked in.. None of the nurses could believe it that I raged at home, they couldn't believe what my parents told them about the argues cause they thought my behavior was so good that the others in the hospital should take take after me...

I got out, but never moved back with my parents. I started in a new school in the city and life was lovely for a while with all the new nice friends and a completely new environment..

But I have been very lonely. I found someone this autumn. I had decided to try, to give a relationship a chance. And I found someone with whom I probably have a soul connection or soul contract or something like that. But I can only see the negative he does and even worse : what he doesn't do.. :S so I've showed him my bad behavior and played games and been jealous and haven't been able to trust in anything he has said. I can't give in to this relationship, to his love.. Our heart chakras were opened when we meet and we have a lot incommon but I chased him away. I can't experience the feeling of being abandoned/cheated on/lied to ever again.. I'm doing everything to prevent that even though that is chasing him away..
Now he is gone. Feels easier for my mind .. But my heart is ofcourse a little broken.. But it'll be okay..

Sorry for posting stuff on here which isn't interesting, a bit stupid at times, not helping anyone etc..

Peace.

[embrace]

I've had my heart broken once - it was pretty painful, but very educational and enlightening at the same time.