negative energies (violent post warning

[nalan]

This story is an ugly time of my past, but something wants me to share it, so here goes.

My room-mate, Suzannah, killed herself. She used a hollow point bullet to ensure her death, and she killed herself exactly where she told me she would. And I did nothing to stop it.

She was behind on her rent and she had lied to me several times about having another job and paying me back soon. I was even paying for her groceries and gas. So I was fed up, but I was heartless. I was at an age of trying to assert myself as an independent adult, and I was more concerned with her paying her fair share than I was her mental health. All the signs were there. She had tried committing suicide before; she had a terribly family life; she was struggling with her sexuality; she even had a plan about how she would kill herself, where, and why. The most I did was tell her to go to the county for mental health services. After all, she owed me money. (God, what a jerk I was.)

So when the last deadline came and she had her line of excuses, I told her I wasn't hearing them and that she was to be out the next day. That night she shot herself in the head. I found her body; the blood, the mangled... It was horrible. She left three notes, one for each person she blamed for her suicide: me, her mother, and her ex. I never read my note. The police came, interviewed, took endless pictures. I'll never forget the snapping of bright lights as I sat across from the police at 3am.

When the victim counselor came to me, I completely broke down. I thought she, too, was going to blame me; afterall, I was not the victim. I was not the dead person lying on the porch.

I fled my home and moved in with my parents. Night terrified me so much that my own mother slept with me for a week (I was 23!!!) with the lights on mainly because I was convinced that Suzannah's vengeful soul would come back for vengeance.

In time, I controlled my fear of the dark and decided I needed to return home (well, it was either that or get rid of my dog as my parents refused to allow me to keep her at their house). Returning home was very difficult. I felt her negative presence everywhere.

[nalan]

(computer was acting funny, so I had to continue on a new post)

Anyway, I still slept with the lights on, but I wouldn't go into her area of the house. And I learned that I was feeding her negative energies by being afraid...heh, that's how I met one of my soulmates, by reaching out online for help.

After much advice and searching, I finally: cleared the house of all her belongings. (She had left some rather nasty and dangerous booby traps!) and I cleaned the house with sage, repeating what a Catholic priest told me to say, "This house belongs to Jesus; love and light live here." I also begged her forgiveness.

The presence didn't go away. If anything, I truly felt like it was developing a personality. Things started happening, like stuff being moved, noises at night, etc. And I wa told time and time again to face the energies before they became a personality.

So I finally sucked it up one night and faced her. After having the poop scared out of me, I started laughing because I was still alive. So my childish side kicked in and I mooned her!

Was all of that in my imagination, or could those energies have developed into an entity?

That was the last of the negative energies I ever felt.

[Enya]

I think... you approached it all in exactly the right way. Your friend, God bless her, was a sad lost soul and what was left was a thought form you 'fed' with your fears and guilt. Laughter is always the best medicine! :hug: :D

[Perry J]

Hi Nalan,
I have read this, and I am concerned about what you say here.

What I am doin myself to deal with negative energies, is asking Archangel Michael, like this, it really does help me:
(see: http://www.askrealjesus.com/persgrowth/perstools/invocationtools/dailymatrix.html )

Archangel Michael, Set Me Free

Instructions: Give the following preamble once.

In the name of Jesus Christ, in the name of my I AM Presence and Christ self, I call to the heart of beloved Archangel Michael, all legions of the Blue Flame and the Will of God and the entire spirit of the Ascended Host, to protect me and all life from all imperfect energies, all forces of evil, all forces of antichrist and all forces of anti-peace. According to the will of God, it is done.

Instructions: Make a short call to direct the energies for a specific purpose. Then give the following decree nine times.

To Heaven’s mighty law
I call in humble awe,
to Michael now I shout
consume my every doubt!

In God’s name I command
Lord Michael now to stand,
your Presence in my field,
protected by your shield.

I call now to my Lord
with your blue-flame sword,
consume all darkness here
your Presence ever near.

Lord Michael take command,
with your blue-flame band,
defeat all forces who
are working against you.

Lord Michael take command,
my life is in your hand,
I put my trust in you,
to God I am now true.

I see the Christ within
I know that I will win,
my mortal life I give,
in Spirit now I live.

Lord Michael end all strife
and give all people life,
oh Michael raise the earth,
into her new birth.

Lead people from the cage
into the Golden Age,
the Christ will set all free
God’s children now to be.

I am sealing this prayer in the Heart of God for the manifestation of Christ perfection on Earth and in all aspects of my life and consciousness. It is done in accordance with God’s Holy Will. Amen.

[spirit72]

What a horrible thing to go through! I defiantly think you faced your own fears and guilt in the end, and released the energy from you... Some people are just destin to kill themselves due to mental insecurities sound like nothing you could have said or done would have saved your flat mate... And when your childish side kicked in...she could see that you ment her no harm, and it was not your job babysit her...
That's a deep story to share, I could not begin to imagin how I would have coped...:icon_eek:

[iolite]

I second what Perry J said. Summon Arch Angel Michael to remove her presence from your house and take her into the light.

[dogninja]

I had to deal with the same situation. they commit a very selfish act they cannot turn back from and it causes us to suffer. if they are still around to understand this, forgive them.

My best friend could not hang with the fact his GF dumped him- so we had to clean up the mess and suffer his death? forgive your friend. don't punish yourself.

[nalan]

She has gone on into the next, whatever it may be.

I don't know if she has forgiven me, but she sent a sign via dream and then real life that indicated she did forgive me.

Most of all, I have so much to learn. As much as I want to say that I have learned my lesson, I know there is more to it; otherwise, I wouldn't have posted.

Thank you for your kind words.

I thought this thread was about negative energies becoming entities, but now I see it has a different purpose. Trouble is I don't know what that purpose is.

EDIT: this happened over 10 years ago, and I am fairly certain I have forgiven myself. I think.

[dogninja]

oh forgive me for not reading all of it. yeah. I dont thing the energies always develop into entities, they(energies) become food for existing/external ones.....unless you act as a creator with thought forms.

[nalan]

Food for existing entities...that's intriguing. And no, I would NEVER act as a creator for such a horrid thing.

[Silver]

I agree with dogninja most, but everybody cares about you and your friend and had some valid points to make. As for never acting as a creator of such a horrid thing, the world of the invisible/intangibles (psychological/ psychic is a little less easy to say one is in control of and less apt to be able to control, depending on your state of mind and relative intelligence. Suicides are responsible, ultimately for their actions, just like anything else, more or less. I am sure she forgave you, and you've probably forgiven yourself enough and you're carrying on your life in a reasonable fashion at this point, from the sounds of it, right? I'm so sorry you had to experience that horror. What a tragedy.

[Rah nam]

(computer was acting funny, so I had to continue on a new post)

Anyway, I still slept with the lights on, but I wouldn't go into her area of the house. And I learned that I was feeding her negative energies by being afraid...heh, that's how I met one of my soulmates, by reaching out online for help.

After much advice and searching, I finally: cleared the house of all her belongings. (She had left some rather nasty and dangerous booby traps!) and I cleaned the house with sage, repeating what a Catholic priest told me to say, "This house belongs to Jesus; love and light live here." I also begged her forgiveness.

The presence didn't go away. If anything, I truly felt like it was developing a personality. Things started happening, like stuff being moved, noises at night, etc. And I wa told time and time again to face the energies before they became a personality.

So I finally sucked it up one night and faced her. After having the poop scared out of me, I started laughing because I was still alive. So my childish side kicked in and I mooned her!

Was all of that in my imagination, or could those energies have developed into an entity?

That was the last of the negative energies I ever felt.

Energies can become like entities but never entities.
An Entity has a direct soul connection, an energy has not, even so it belongs or was created by an entity.
Now the question would be, what does it take to create and energy complex enough to become a personality?

[dogninja]

in saying "creator" I am generalizing, not specifically for the event.... only a potential in working with energy that would become similar to a entity.

in many ways following conscience and compassion will resolve matters in many levels without having to even think about the spirit world. I don't think any kind of entity developed like you were asking about.

[Enya]

I thought this thread was about negative energies becoming entities, but now I see it has a different purpose. Trouble is I don't know what that purpose is.

EDIT: this happened over 10 years ago, and I am fairly certain I have forgiven myself. I think.

I think it was about acknowledging what happened... and making sure you *have* completely forgiven yourself. Your uncertainty at the end shows a need to be clear on this. xx

[athribiristan]

Energies can become like entities but never entities.
An Entity has a direct soul connection, an energy has not, even so it belongs or was created by an entity.
Now the question would be, what does it take to create and energy complex enough to become a personality?


I agree with Detlef on this one. The energy itself will not become an entitiy but it could attract one. Its good that you faced it earlier rather than later. I think the biggest thing here is to make sure you work out that guilt. This wasn't your fault. Everything that happened was her choice. She had problems and she did not face them. That is/was her responsibility not yours. Honor her memory by learning valuable lessons from this experience.

[nalan]

Thank you all for your kind and insightful responses. I am truly grateful for this discussion forum! :hug:

It never dawned on me that negative energies could attract negative entities; that makes so much more sense than negative energies creating an entity...especially when there is no soul connection. I believe my fear of her vengeful spirit drew me to my initial conclusion.

Being blunt and harsh is something I still struggle with, so when I mess up, I am immediately reminded of my poor actions toward Suzannah in her last days. That is the guilt I still feel mainly because I'm still learning how to tone my words down. I think I'm holding onto that guilt to remind me. Is that healthy? I don't know.

But in standing up for myself or the truth, I never, ever want to hurt someone the way I hurt Suzannah, ever again.

I know she pulled the trigger; she made that choice.

Which leads me to another question about the paranormal. Do you think her spirit lingered for a little while? I ask because it was such a violent death, and I've read other stories about confused spirits hanging around when the death was violent.

[Dilchannan]

I believe that for someone to commit suicide they are in a very dark place mentally, and spiritually.( It is not anyone's fault a person commits suicide, it is their time to go) I would not doubt that at the time of death, she was still confused, scared, and was having a hard time letting go. That being said, I am sure her soul lingered here for a time.

Pray for her, forgive her, forgive yourself.

You have done all the right things, and I am sure she has now moved on to a much better place.

Peace

[athribiristan]

Thank you all for your kind and insightful responses. I am truly grateful for this discussion forum! :hug:

You are very welcome :hug:. Me too, I tried a lot of forums before I found this one. I love it here.

It never dawned on me that negative energies could attract negative entities; that makes so much more sense than negative energies creating an entity...especially when there is no soul connection. I believe my fear of her vengeful spirit drew me to my initial conclusion.

Being blunt and harsh is something I still struggle with, so when I mess up, I am immediately reminded of my poor actions toward Suzannah in her last days. That is the guilt I still feel mainly because I'm still learning how to tone my words down. I think I'm holding onto that guilt to remind me. Is that healthy? I don't know.

Hanging onto guilt is not healthy. That's not to say that it may not be an important part of your process though. You can still keep the lesson without keeping the guilt.

But in standing up for myself or the truth, I never, ever want to hurt someone the way I hurt Suzannah, ever again.

I know she pulled the trigger; she made that choice.

Which leads me to another question about the paranormal. Do you think her spirit lingered for a little while? I ask because it was such a violent death, and I've read other stories about confused spirits hanging around when the death was violent.
Its possible but I get the idea that she knew that she wanted to go. In other words, I don't think she was confused (at least not about where she wanted to be).

--------------------------------------

[Smiler]

Hi nalan

I havent read through other posts yet ..sorry if repeating what some-one has said.

Negative thought forms .. can become a hologram of negative energy ..

You are very close to the mark there .. so it does seem like a personality.. but it is a collection of thoughts....that build and may project a face etc ..designed to scare you.

The thoughts she had pre death attracted other negative thoughts ..she is gone ..she has been taken for healing.

You are being taught the right thing .. filled the house with love.. think love..

You are not to blame at all for this .. A person in that state would have done it anyway...why you?...because you are in my opinion being trained ..

Spiritually trained :).. by light ..

You have felt remorse over a death that was that souls choice..

... any words spoken or thoughts you had around the time you shared the house.... that may have been human negativity (that we all have) is forgiven okay.?

.I see blue beads with her for some reason.

Call in YOUR highest guides of lightand love for protection and guidance.

Your home I see is being cleansed now..work with your guides ..fill it with light in your mind.

I laughed at the scarying the poop out of you! LOL boy can I relate to that.( sorry I know not funny really as I dont like it either)

Just thought Id post my opinion

Smile and be a warrior of the Light.

Love and blessings
:)

[Smiler]

Its very late in Australia ...2.15 am so apologies for any typos ..here is a story I heard once...


An angel was up in heaven looking down at the earth and decided it wanted to go down there..so the angel went to God and said "God;can I please go to earth" ?

God Looked at the angel and smiled with love and said " I am sorry I have no-one to go with you at this time all the angels are busy"

The angel said "God; I want to experience forgiveness; humbleness;compassion on earth and so much more..!

As God looked at this angel another angel turned up and said "God I am Free"

God said "YES"

So the second angel said to the first angel.."I will come to earth so that you can learnt the lessons you wish...I will be mean..cruel..selfish...and so on; I ask you one thing though"?

The first angel smiled and said "what"?

The second angel said "when it is all done on earth please remember that I LOVE YOU most of all"

:)
XX

[TGPK]

Hi Nalan,
I have read this, and I am concerned about what you say here.

What I am doin myself to deal with negative energies, is asking Archangel Michael, like this, it really does help me:
(see: http://www.askrealjesus.com/persgrowth/perstools/invocationtools/dailymatrix.html )

Archangel Michael, Set Me Free

Instructions: Give the following preamble once.

In the name of Jesus Christ, in the name of my I AM Presence and Christ self, I call to the heart of beloved Archangel Michael, all legions of the Blue Flame and the Will of God and the entire spirit of the Ascended Host, to protect me and all life from all imperfect energies, all forces of evil, all forces of antichrist and all forces of anti-peace. According to the will of God, it is done.

Instructions: Make a short call to direct the energies for a specific purpose. Then give the following decree nine times.

To Heaven’s mighty law
I call in humble awe,
to Michael now I shout
consume my every doubt!

In God’s name I command
Lord Michael now to stand,
your Presence in my field,
protected by your shield.

I call now to my Lord
with your blue-flame sword,
consume all darkness here
your Presence ever near.

Lord Michael take command,
with your blue-flame band,
defeat all forces who
are working against you.

Lord Michael take command,
my life is in your hand,
I put my trust in you,
to God I am now true.

I see the Christ within
I know that I will win,
my mortal life I give,
in Spirit now I live.

Lord Michael end all strife
and give all people life,
oh Michael raise the earth,
into her new birth.

Lead people from the cage
into the Golden Age,
the Christ will set all free
God’s children now to be.

I am sealing this prayer in the Heart of God for the manifestation of Christ perfection on Earth and in all aspects of my life and consciousness. It is done in accordance with God’s Holy Will. Amen.


Nalan, you don't need any of this (the above).

What you need to do, or should I say, what is best, is let go of the past, be in the now, be happy, forgive yourself constantly (you didn't do anything wrong, anyway) and go do something you like. Simple. No ritual, chant, God, angel or prayer needed.

You say that it isn't that simple...? Well, it actually is. You just need to take that leap.

Also, like another poster said before me, if you are thinking that the ghost of this woman is going to get you, then what you will be doing is creating a thought-form in the astral world, which will be in the image of the woman. In turn, the more you think about the woman, the stronger the thought form can get, and the more thoughts it can send to you - they would mostly be negative. Tip: don't give any attention to it, and it will disappear over time. Again, stay in the now, and let go of the past.

[Spiritlite]

I think your guilt over the incident as well as your fear of her getting back at you fed on her energy being nasty and horrid, she was most likely and needed fear to "live" like that in spirit. I think that you finally letting go, laughing and having fun by mooning her made her energy realize something and she went to the light.
Spiritlite.

[Solace733]

I just want to give you an energy hug for what you have endured. You are a brave soul and in no way was any of this your fault. I know you have dealt with it all now being so long ago, but i truly wish for you that your soul is set free of any lingering burden with regards to this. :hug2:

[Celeste]

(I didn't read the other posts yet.) I'm sorry you had to experience this, and this is going to sound cold, but it is not your fault that this girl committed suicide. It was her own choice to do this. And you were her roommate, not her psychological counselor, which she tried to make you (and blame you). You gave her more than you should have, as it made you feel resentful, a normal reaction. It was not your job to take care of her. You probably could have been a little more sensitive, but it is easy to say that after the fact. You were in the hard situation, and you reacted accordingly. Do not be fearful, as like attracts like. Picture a white light around yourself, and around her. You need your light for protection, and she needs hers, as a form of love being sent to her. You need to release her to her highest good. Calling on Archangel Michael is also excellent protection.

My best girlfriend's husband shot himself right in front of her. It is a miracle she is ok, after such violence. I went to her house shortly after it happened. The rug was already taken out, and replaced with a different one. For her to take care of this right away in such a practical way I feel showed great strength. When she went upstairs to take%2