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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Spiritual Development

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  #1  
Old 01-11-2022, 05:36 PM
Hemera Hemera is offline
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Sensitivity

I think I am very sensitive and it makes being in the world very painful at times.

Today I left my home to walk my dog and spotted the lady who takes my dog for a walk once a week. I quickly realised something was wrong. She got out her van and said one of the dogs had ran off and she was desperately searching for it. She looked awful and my heart broke. I told her I'd call her if I saw the dog. Unfortunately I didn't. I don't know if the dog has been found.

The point is that this situation has changed the entire mood of my day. I was reasonably upbeat earlier, now all I can think about is the dog walker and how awful she must feel that she lost a dog in her care, and about the dog out lost and whether it will be ok or maybe knocked down by a car. The thoughts keep going around my head and I feel so devastated. I'm finding it all so hard. It involves an animal which is even worse as I'm an animal lover and extra sensitive to any sort of suffering involving animals.

I know there's nothing I can do (I can't walk far or drive so looking for the dog isn't an option beyond what I've done already) but I feel so awful for the dog walker.

How do I manage these types of situations better? Meditate? Protect my aura? It ends up with me feeling that the world is too painful for me to deal with. The dog walker is due to pick my dog up tomorrow and I'm scared she will tell me the dog died.
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  #2  
Old 01-11-2022, 06:09 PM
iamthat iamthat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemera
I think I am very sensitive and it makes being in the world very painful at times. ... How do I manage these types of situations better? Meditate? Protect my aura? It ends up with me feeling that the world is too painful for me to deal with.
It seems that all this pain you feel is self-created. It is not that the world is painful. Instead you create a story in your head and then you feel pain because you believe your story.

You tell yourself a story about how awful the lady must feel and how the dog might get knocked down by a car, and you feel bad for the rest of the day. For all you know the lady might have found the dog safe and sound five minutes after you left.

If you couldn't help the lady because you cannot walk far or drive then the situation is beyond your control. If there is nothing you can do then accept that there is nothing you can do. Why ruin your day over feelings about something you can do nothing about?

You say "The dog walker is due to pick my dog up tomorrow and I'm scared she will tell me the dog died." Again, you are telling yourself a story about something which may never happen and creating your own suffering.

Is this due to being too sensitive? Or is this due to an inability to step back from the stories you tell yourself and see them as just self-created stories which may never happen?

Peace
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  #3  
Old 01-11-2022, 06:30 PM
Hemera Hemera is offline
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Ah, that is very logical Iamthat. I understand none of what I'm telling myself will happen and so it's self created suffering, but accepting there's nothing I can do doesn't stop the feelings, at least in my experience.

I think there's suffering which is created by thoughts, and there's suffering created by seeing someone else suffering and finding that tough in and of itself.

I texted her a short time ago and was told the dog was finally found just before it got darks so I'm massively relieved, but not as relieved as she is.
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  #4  
Old 01-11-2022, 06:38 PM
Hemera Hemera is offline
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Thank you so much Miss Hepburn. I'm sorry you lost your dog all those years ago but it's wonderful to hear that you experienced that knowing that everything was fine in God's world. I kept trying to tell myself that the good, bad and ugly is all part of the whole but it's sooooo painful when in the thick of these experiences.

I found out the dog was handed into the local vets and now home safe. The dog walker is very shaken and upset but relieved.
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  #5  
Old 01-11-2022, 07:35 PM
iamthat iamthat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemera
... I understand none of what I'm telling myself will happen and so it's self created suffering, but accepting there's nothing I can do doesn't stop the feelings, at least in my experience.
Perhaps when such feelings arise then allow them to be there and fully experience them. They can then dissolve, they are just an energy passing through you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemera
I think there's suffering which is created by thoughts, and there's suffering created by seeing someone else suffering and finding that tough in and of itself.
We can feel compassion for the suffering of another person without feeling the impulse to share in that suffering. Detachment is not the same as being cold-hearted.

Peace
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  #6  
Old 01-11-2022, 09:04 PM
Native spirit Native spirit is online now
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You are sensitive and want everything to be alright for everyone when you don't know the results, you make up your own internally.
that lowers your mood.
nine times out of ten there is a happy ending to this she finds her dog.
but you internalise it let it go.


Namaste
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  #7  
Old 02-11-2022, 01:41 AM
Unseeking Seeker Unseeking Seeker is offline
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In my view it’s simply because you are not in the present moment. Embrace life fully, as it appears and then release it fully, leaving within no residue.

Have empathy and compassion but as attributes, detached from doership. Otherwise forest fires in Australia, floods in India and Tsunamis in Japan won’t let you sleep peacefully.
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The Self has no attribute
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  #8  
Old 02-11-2022, 01:13 PM
Starman Starman is offline
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Compassion is very good, sensitivity to others is also wonderful. It is great to have empathy; the only thing is learning how to let go. It is important that we learn how to protect our own inner peace. This can be done through daily meditations which can help you quiet your mind, diminish your thoughts. Over time you will learn how to stay centered in the face of the most horrific things.

I was an ambulance paramedic and went on devastating calls seeing people, many who were young children, in very horrible situations. I could not let my emotions get involve else I would not be able to help those people, or do my job. After everything was over I would do something to let it out, i.e. vigorous exercise, quiet meditation, go into an open space outdoors and yell and cry, and then let go. There are lots of things we can do to safely let go and surrender to inner peace.
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  #9  
Old 02-11-2022, 01:25 PM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is online now
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I agree with what everyone above me said.
You internalise it, take it on board as your own. That's where you go 'wrong'. You're not too sensitive, you got to learn to not take things so personally, have healthy boundaries in that sense, and to let go.
What a great healer once told me -as I used to be very similar to you-: "It's okay to feel for them, but not to suffer with them."
That woman isn't feeling better when you're suffering... She won't even know you are down. It won't help her one bit yet it affects your life.

In a way it's learning to deal with pain, loss, etc. and not feeling responsible for what isn't yours to begin with. You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
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  #10  
Old 02-11-2022, 07:41 PM
Hemera Hemera is offline
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Thanks so much everyone. Much food for thought here.

I spend a lot of time alone and introspective so I don't always have an objective view of how I react to things. This has been very helpful.

I do internalise and there is a part of me who feels it's my 'duty' to feel what others feel so they won't be alone with it. I think it's also about thinking I have to make it okay for them by making it okay.

Messed up I know.

I do meditate but I haven't been consistent with that lately so I will go back to that and work on other things that help me retain inner peace and good boundaries. I know that what I'm doing isn't helping me or others.
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