After a decade: I don’t feel enlightened. I feel destroyed

[bahruddinkhan]

Hi Everyone,

I got the answer for this very interesting question. So kindly go to You Tube and find the best way.

write in YouTube "The #1 Reason You Can't Reach Enlightenment/Awakening For Women and For Men"

[ThatMan]

Originally Posted by bahruddinkhan

Hi Everyone,

I got the answer for this very interesting question. So kindly go to You Tube and find the best way.

write in YouTube "The #1 Reason You Can't Reach Enlightenment/Awakening For Women and For Men"

People don't reach a inner state of a higher awareness simply because they do not want it, it's as simple as that... There's no magic formula, either you want or you don't and this is well seen in our daily choices, because our choices define who we truly are... This is why the choice to "redeem" ourselves is always at hand..

I talk here from my own experience because I've been observing myself for almost an year from the moment I started to meditate almost daily. I've learnt a lot about the human behavior and this is only the beginning, I feel that with every step I awaken myself to more and this awakening is showing my the true nature of all things.

[Ghost_Rider_1970]

Originally Posted by Ruined

I greatly appreciate any feedback anyone cares to give.

I’ve never spoken to anyone about this before except a psychic. Now I want to hear right from people who have experienced this.

I have read numerous articles, had numerous readings, tried numerous things. And no matter what, my heart remains broken. I have done all I can to believe in unconditional love, to go on with my life, to love other people while loving this person. But this whole experience has changed my life for the worse.

What I want to know is, does anyone else feel this way? Has anyone else tried their damnedest to move on and realized that they can’t? And feel like they are failing because they haven’t been able to go on?

I also need to say that, after several years, I finally asked this person about their feelings for me and they indicated they never felt what I feel for them. This was despite multiple “psychics,” including Steve Gunn, claiming he felt otherwise.

I gotta admit I'd love the answer to this one too! As my four years is long enough, yet alone ten!

I must admit though, I do agree with the advice on psychics and they are not the answer. As the honest truth is only you know your own feelings. Where the reality is that the only actions we have control over are our own.

I really do wish you well on your life path and spiritual journey; you find inner happiness; and everything your heart desires that you so richly deserve.

[FairyCrystal]

It can be hard to bounce back from a connection where you felt so much for the other, regardless the soul connection to be honest.
But apart from the normal healing it's a matter of choice. It doesn't sound you want to move on, otherwise you wouldn't have been busy with psychics and focusing on it all.
If you keep it active within you it will remain active.
When we broke up I chose to move on. It was effing difficult as in this relationship I'd given it my all so it hurts when you get rejected regardless.
But if you keep focusing on that you give your power away and you will never get over it.
Yes, it is difficult to trust again, yes, it is difficult to open up again after you've been rejected. But it is possible. If you want it to.

[Ruined]

I appreciate that everyone has given thoughtful replies — indeed, that you have taken the time to reply at all.

I know I didn’t give a lot of detail about my experience, and people respond based on what I supplied, so that’s fair. But I would like to say, the idea that someone doesn’t move on simply because they don’t want to isn’t a fair statement. I have been painfully aware *for years* that moving on is needed. And I have experienced enormous frustration because I try repeatedly to do that, and the emptiness never leaves. One reason I spoke to psychics is because I knew my friends would think I was nuts, so I’ve never gotten validation from them by venting my misery.

Not everything is a choice. If I thought I could get rid of this by simply deciding to, I wouldn’t be posting on here.

[John Elessar]

Originally Posted by Ruined

This was despite multiple “psychics,” including Steve Gunn, claiming he felt otherwise.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Well, it's business. Most psychics say what they think people want to hear regardless of the potential for emotional damage. Genuine psychics are as rare as hens' teeth. Trust your own instincts and be ready to shuck off delusion. .

Steve Gunn esp. is a total piece of work (trying to be polite). He basically plagiarized a blog wholesale from someone else (and, weirdly, so did a lot of other people) and many (including me) have found him to be a judgemental insufferable presumptuous jerk.

[Gem]

It's normal. Falling in love is something that lasts years, and then it stays on without going away, but it changes and becomes part of what we life with, so the very idea that it should be otherwise is questionable, that there is solution is questionable, that there is anything wrong is questionable, so I say let it be the way it is without doing anything about it.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Ruined

I appreciate that everyone has given thoughtful replies — indeed, that you have taken the time to reply at all.

I know I didn’t give a lot of detail about my experience, and people respond based on what I supplied, so that’s fair. But I would like to say, the idea that someone doesn’t move on simply because they don’t want to isn’t a fair statement. I have been painfully aware *for years* that moving on is needed. And I have experienced enormous frustration because I try repeatedly to do that, and the emptiness never leaves. One reason I spoke to psychics is because I knew my friends would think I was nuts, so I’ve never gotten validation from them by venting my misery.

Not everything is a choice. If I thought I could get rid of this by simply deciding to, I wouldn’t be posting on here.

I get why you reply like this, but it IS a choice. If you choose that you want to feel better, and take action towards that, start doing things and so on, you will begin to enjoy life again.
The reason you feel chit after a breakup is only because you lose the connection with your own Self and that always feels horrible and like something is missing.
Most people need and use another person or situation to get (back) into alignment with self, that's why love and in love feels so danged good. Finally you're 'you' again!
But you can create that yourself as well, which is what we're meant to do. Only if we can are we able to make a healthy connection with another.
So you have to learn to fill your own void and re-establish the connection with your Self.

There's also no reason why you cannot love someone without having them as your partner. It also brings pain and disconnection with Self if you try to block that flow of love.
Let it flow, enjoy it, become love again, without the need to have the other person.
I can tell you nothing feels better than that! I managed to do it with the most horrible abusive partner. At some point I could flow pure love for and to him, in spite of all the chit he threw at me, and believe me, it was bad in capitals.
I felt so proud and happy that I could still flow pure Love to him as it means that I myself was in alignment in spite of the abuse.
You can do that with your ex as well.

[Sunshine111]

Unfortunately, I have been in your shoes and situation many years ago. I am saying "unfortunately" because it really really sucks. What sucked the most for me was feeling like a complete failure to move on which was in fact and reality true.

The first step that was a breakthrough for me was feeling sick and tired of this situation which I believe you are currently at and therefore, on the right path for change which is what is beneath this "sick and tired" feeling that equals to wanting to change this situation and change that, I also believe you will.

I found that the problem for me was holding onto the idea of how the specific person was that I build and this was false. Seeing things how they were that meant the actions of the specific person just demolish this false image or persona I created for them that finally led to letting go of the person along with the false ideas and beliefs, finally seeing them for who exactly they were , cease living an illusion and discarding them myself as they have discarded me and for exactly who they really were, bad for my health , welfare, life, future and definitely no good for me.

Why should anyone who is causing nothing but pain, misery and unhappiness as well as suffering to another be good for them anyway?.

Seeing them , actions and words for who and what they really are, I think should be the second step followed by a decision based on the question "Is this what and who you are really worth of in this life?' that should naturally answered with a "No". If it doesn't then, my suggestion is to work on your self-esteem and worth.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Gem

It's normal. Falling in love is something that lasts years, and then it stays on without going away, but it changes and becomes part of what we life with, so the very idea that it should be otherwise is questionable, that there is solution is questionable, that there is anything wrong is questionable, so I say let it be the way it is without doing anything about it.

This. Exactly. Just this.

Accept that love is real. Also that you have experienced this in regard to at least one other person other than your mum or close family. And that there is nothing wrong with you or what you feel, simply because there is not a "quid pro quo" (popular phrase at the mo, sorry ).

Nor am I saying you should ever deny your pain or heartbreak. But as FC said:

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

There's also no reason why you cannot love someone without having them as your partner.

Although often heartbreaking, TBH, it's still a beautiful thing and such a foundational aspect of life to experience. It changes us and deepens us, and we carry these things forward.

Work to keep the channels of your heart as open as possible, so that you may be there for yourself as fully as possible in each moment. So that you may treasure all that you are and all you have borne and endured. So that the love may flow alongside the pain. The alternative is to be utterly shattered and unable to reach your heart centre or fully experience your emotions...which is dehumanising and far worse.

Provided you let the heart be and let love flow, you can still heal your heart in time -- and the open heart is the key to all growth in love. It brings you very close to the heavens, and very close to the earth. It brings you very close to all things in this moment.

Peace & blessings
7L