Can emotional damage really be undone?

[ReturningMoon]

Hi everyone. In my opinion you do have two choices when it comes to this but I don't think it ever really "goes away." Someone may either choose to become defined by their emotional damage or they may become stronger because of it.
Either way I think it does make someone into who they are. It stays with you but what you do about it is your choice. Thoughts?

Originally Posted by ReturningMoon

. It stays with you but what you do about it is your choice. Thoughts?

ReturningMoon,

This is true if you allow it to stay with you. Remember their sin no more and it can be done. A child will tell a parent “I hate you !” Does a parent allow this to define their subsequent relationship ? Now if we have never ever been angry or have not heard of people who do become angry then dealing with this might be difficult.

[Tukaram]

Physical damage will heal on its own, in my experience emotional damage will not. It takes work.

When I started meditating I kept having old pain pop up and get in the way. At first I tried to push it away (my usual coping tactic)... finally I used the meditation to help me analyze my pain and the people involved.

Eventually, as I understood that everyone is lashing out through their own pain, I realized the pain they caused me was not intentional. The more I understood others, the more I could let it go. Eventually I not only forgave my father, but befriended him (to the horror of my siblings). He was a damaged individual doing the best he could with his demons. He did not intend to give us demons. Forgiveness is not for the other person, but for ourselves.

I spent years shoving the pain aside and trying to move on. It failed miserably. Once I understood others I could accept them for who they are, I could let go of the anger and pain. Unpacking your emotional baggage is not easy or comfortable, but it is the best thing I ever did for myself.

Later, I read some Buddhist books and it seems I figured out a lot their techniques on my own. Independent research is slower, but still effective.

The 'whatever does not kill me makes me stronger' is total **.

[Gem]

Huh. Complex question. What Tukeram said sounds realistic, so I'm gunna go along with that.

[JustBe]

I think it can if one decides to work through it.

If not, people find ways to move past it, get on with their lives, some shelve things or suppress. Even so life experiences can activate hidden trauma to release it and sometimes people can’t always identify why other things activate reactions unless your self aware, it can be difficult to give reasons. .

I’m a predominate feeler so most things I deal with go as deep as I’ve opened to feel. I know through this level in myself, you can lay to rest trauma but only the trauma I’ve experienced.

I’ve let go as deep as the story (mind/body) so as a holistic shift I know the potential of doing the work more complete. I can gauge by triggers and reactions.

Each person is unique and carries their own experiences and process, so it would be fair to say people do as best they can. Certainly potentials can move us as deep as we choose.

[Redchic12]

Wow Tukaram you are such an amazing person to have sorted that out all by yourself. I really admire you. Well done!

Yes some of the Buddhist philosophy helped me also.

Molearner…..”this is true if you allow it to stay with you”

Well I feel it’s a yes and no with this point. For most mildly traumatic situations a person can certainly deal with it this way, but when someone has been continually sexually abused/physically abused/tortured etc then “if you allow it to stay with you” doesn’t really apply.IMO The trauma is so horrendous that I would say it would be near impossible for most people to do that. But there is always the “exception to the rule” such as Tukaram. As he stated, his siblings can’t understand him.

I would say that with a good therapist, family/friends support and perhaps reading some inspiring books then maybe some of the suffering g can be alleviated. But in severe cases I think not.

As one person said to me once (who had experienced a high level of trauma) “you just can’t forget about it or stop thinking about it, you just learn to live with it.

[Starman]

It is very important for people to know their physical and emotional limitations, and some of those emotional limitations come from “emotional damage.” In my opinion all we have to work with is what we currently have. Some emotional damage may come from thinking we are emotionally damaged.

So-called emotional damage may also come from cultural expectations; most notably a person’s family of origin. If you can get past the concepts healing is possible. Getting past the concepts may involve reframing what you may consider emotional damage.

We expect for family to be emotionally supportive but there are billions of people worldwide who come out of dysfunctional families who learn how to be emotional successful even with an emotional deficit.

Most mental health problems come from relationships, either with family, friends, strangers, or the relationship which we have with ourselves. Emotional issues may be organic, due to physical damage, or a chemical imbalance in the body. They might also be environmental, i.e. weather conditions can cause depression, etc. Emotional damage can also come from socially learned behavior.

It depends on where it is coming from whether or not it can be reconciled or cured. There are new techniques today that are being used to cure people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). We each have our own unique puzzle to put together and in my opinion our emotions are part of that puzzle.

[CosmicWonder]

Ive recovered from a lot, also deep (like cut down to the core), emotional damage. It does not happen on its own, but requires some things. Does not at all mean I stayed the same, but thats not damage or a scar. I became more loving, more wise and more powerful.

Kind regards,

CW

[Starman]

We can work on what we consider emotional damage outside in or we can work on it inside out. Working on it inside out involves finding the root cause inside of us and trying to reconcile that. While working on it outside in involves being aware of the symptoms of our emotional damage and trying to condition our behavior to respond differently. In my opinion working on both at the same time may be more effective. Again, some emotional issues we just have to learn to live with, notably organic issues, and marginalize as much as possible in our behavior.

[hazada guess]

With me,emotions of whatever sort stay with me for a while,(Depending on how strong they are),then I turn another page in the Book,forget about them and continue as if nothing had happened.
That way,I am able to carry on without the fear of any damage.What goes around ,comes around,or vice versa. (Of its own accord).