Choices and feelings

Do people really believe that you "choose" how you feel? I have a hard time believing this. I believe we choose how we treat others. Not how we feel.

[FallingLeaves]

i think, when you are relating to others or to your life, certain feelings come from time to time as part of the relationship. And you can either allow them or fight them. But that doesn't mean either that in some sense you can't play with feelings and in some way affect what you've got.

It is kinda like the wind, just because it seemingly blows randomly doesn't mean you can't turn on a fan on a hot summer's day.

Personally I would get tired though, if all I had was a fan, letting the wind do its thing sometimes is sublime.

[Miss Hepburn]

Same Sex twin flame27]Do people really believe that you "choose" how you feel? I have a hard time believing this. ... Not how we feel.

Because of your name... Good luck coming in contact with someone from a past life relationship.. I have had many
passionate Loves... an ex spouse, lover, I have been in deep love with..and now if you are the same gender this life?
All I have to say is ...Good freaking luck.

And ''No''. You do not choose how you feel...but you surely can keep it to yourself to perhaps be talked about way later. Gingerly.
Or not ...let it simmer inside you like a red coal.

But...it comes out in the end...something that deep is felt with both parties....
Even if not acted upon....just recognized.
My take.

[Starman]

I can definitely change how I feel, by doing quiet meditation, by watching a comedy on T.V., taking a relaxing bath, etc. I choose whether to open my heart or not to others. Self control is a part of self mastery. A person who has no control over how they feel may murder someone because it is how they feel, and some do just that, but in my opinion if you have no control over your feelings maybe that is time for some therapy. It takes practice to gain emotional skill just as it does to gain physical skills. We need to gain skill on every level, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual, in my opinion, but it does take time and practice to get there. Learning how to work with your own energy is what it is all about.

[Starman]

Same Sex Twin Flame?, you don’t have to get angry at what people say. I don’t think Miss Hepburn meant any harm. Personally, I also was taken back by the name you chose here with a question mark at the end of it. I may or may not be gay, but I am not going to name myself “Gay-Man,” because as you say, its not about gender rather it is about what many call “their soul” or deeper being, which I view in me as androgynous. That is what I truly am beyond my physical body or those who I may be attracted to with a particular physical body. In my opinion [b] Miss Hepburn is about as “spiritual” as I am or anyone else on this forum, and it might have been better to just ask her for an explanation of what she said. Your reaction goes hand in hand with attempting to control your feelings, a question which you have asked here.

Peace and Good Journey

[Unseeking Seeker]

Well, well, well, well ~ let’s take it easy folks!

Addressing the OP, about choices or free will, in my view it’s simple. The unconscious mind has no free will. Free will, if any, is at soul level, guided by universal consciousness, so is that also really free?

Yet, we do have limited free will, I’d say, in the manner of our responses to life as it presents itself to us, moment to moment. Gradually, as our responses become more refined, the ‘will’ per se merges with divine will, so who owns the will, who exercises it? He who was, disappears, so the question disappears.

[Starman]

So why don’t you discuss this with her; when you feel attacked, how you handle it is about you and not the other person. This is a spiritual perspective. The human mind is very reactive; this is not about the LGBTQ+ community because I am sure there are members of the LGBTQ+ community who might have reacted differently. Trying to understand other people is spiritual, and here in a forum where the written word is the only communication, feelings can take over. If a person called me the “N” word I would not get angry, rather I would feel sorry for them and try to get them to see my point of view without angst or anger. Angst and anger only hurts you; it raises your blood pressure and is not healthy.

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by Same Sex twin flame27

Do people really believe that you "choose" how you feel? I have a hard time believing this. I believe we choose how we treat others. Not how we feel.

I am totally responsible for how I feel. Each of us come to the table with unique and individual journeys that create a lot of reactions in feeling. You can’t choose reactions at times, but you can become aware of your feelings through self reflection and by delving a little bit deeper., if you choose, learn why you’re triggered. If someone is reacting and blind to their reactions, their behaviour often becomes an ignorant action in reaction to feeling. If they are blind and ignorant to their treatment of another, they may well repeat until they understand differently personal responsibility.

You can’t always make a choice to be angry but if you treat another badly in your anger, you can choose not to hurt them and deal with your anger in healthy ways.


Feelings arise in all manner of ways when triggered, you can stop yourself from feeling if course, by pretending, shelving or distracting, but does it really go away?

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by Same Sex twin flame27

And I ask what are you doing on a "spiritual forum" when you are obviously homophobic? You belong in a religious forum.

Why don’t you get curious instead of reacting?

Your reaction is so strong, it feels to me like you’re protecting your lot and not even trying to understand other peoples opinion. If you want to be understood, then I’d suggest some conscious mindful self reflection on how you choose to understand others.

When I read the post you’re offended by, I was more confused by the response. I didn’t assume, I knew what my confusion meant, If I want clarity in my confusion, I’d ask ..

Originally Posted by JustBe

Why don’t you get curious instead of reacting?

Your reaction is so strong, it feels to me like you’re protecting your lot and not even trying to understand other peoples opinion.

I don't know why everyone is questioning my response and not questioning her belief. What she said was offensive and I'm not wrong for reacting. That's exactly why I stopped posting in this forum.