How do you cope with being awaken?

[SMT3Master227]

So I like to tell my story again since its been on my mind so much lately and I been having difficulty coping even though Im doing ok.

So the long story short, about a little over 2 months ago, I rediscovered this girl I went to high school with that I was friends with and how she only lives 2 hours away where I moved to (train ride away). Its been 15 years since I last talked to her. When I found her from googling her, I was pretty impressed on where she was at life since she was more accomplished than anyone I went to school with. Not only that but this girl was the biggest sweetheart as a kid and she even wrote me a letter when I moved away for a little bit saying "if you ever need someone to talk to, you can call me at any time", which makes me wonder how she felt about me back then.

However, upon discovering this girl, I realized not only do we have very similar life experiences (along with similar insecurities, she was emotionally abandoned as a kid like myself), but shes kind of mind ****ed at the moment. She got out of a bad relationship 2 years ago and still seems to be struggling. I tried talking to her on social media but she actually ended up blocking me and not adding me as a friend on another site. I wrote her a really nice letter too saying "hey so and so, its so so and so from high school. i see your doing well and i actually do some work thats related to you. i love to catch up, i live not far away. i think your doing really awesome and like to hear what you been up to. you seem to been doing some cool things and i like to hear what you been up to" and she never responded.

I have some friends that know her and am going to reach out to (since i been reaching out to alot of people) and am curious what the deal with her is. My guess is that shes still dealing with trauma from her previous relationship (Since its bad, i looked the guy up and hes indeed bad) and I guess maybe when I reached out to her, she was too ashamed to talk about what shes been through and not in the mood to talk to anyone. I know shes got a really busy job but in the past she always balanced her social life with work, so shes pretty out of character in this situation, even rightfully so with her history.

I feel after this events its just really woken me up to reality. I been working on myself and my own life since some of the work I do may have the ability to reach her (im a writer). Im giving it all right now in terms of self improvement and being happy, but sometimes its just really tough. Like I think about this girl quite a bit and its because I just remember her being so awesome. And I know shes still awesome, its just that shes dealing with life and it sucks since I feel her pain and Im trying to not think about it too much.

How do people cope when your spiritually awaken? This whole rabit whole has just kind of been a blessing and a curse. On one hand, im just so happy all the time since life is going well and things are coming together, but on another hand, I have a buttload of self doubt and sometimes feel sad. I have a feeling that through my friends and my work that I can eventually reach this girl, but its such a long road ahead of me and Im not sure if it will even work out. I just wonder how people keep the energy up and stay focused.

Im glad to be awake...... I dont live in a fake reality,I know how bad things are ........ It isnt easy but its better than being a slave I guess...

[FallingLeaves]

i don't always stay high like we are told... I like my 'down' time... but what you get if you don't do that well mileage may vary.

as far as the girl... yeah i just recently learned that if you want to be in a relationship you have to actually relate. Go figure.

but your idea of just trundling on even though you have no idea whether it will work sounds like a really good one to me... I find it best to give her whatever space she wants though. evn though that means i gotta do without.... sigh...

[SMT3Master227]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

i don't always stay high like we are told... I like my 'down' time... but what you get if you don't do that well mileage may vary.
as far as the girl... yeah i just recently learned that if you want to be in a relationship you have to actually relate. Go figure.
but your idea of just trundling on even though you have no idea whether it will work sounds like a really good one to me... I find it best to give her whatever space she wants though. evn though that means i gotta do without.... sigh...

Well the issue is that shes just so mentally out of it. This guy messed her up good. Her not responding to me when im being nice just tells me her self esteem is in the toilet. It makes ms pretty sad, which is another thing im trying to cope with since this girl doesnt deserve this but welcome to being an adult. We all make mistakes. I been with people that lied to me and were terrible too but we live and learn.

And yeah i mean at the end of the day im going to live with or without this girl, its just rough. We got along so good in high school and if I met her before this scumbag then we would probably be dating. Its funny there is an alternative timeline where i could have transfered to her college when i was 20 and we were both in greek life and we would have dned up meeting, but I wonder if I had the emotional maturity for her back then. Wierd how life plays out.